RoboGeisha - Another Trashy Gore-fest

Movie: RoboGeisha

My Rating: 2 stars

Ugh.  This was a seriously tedious movie to watch.  I was pretty surprised, because I’m usually into these raunchy, disgusting, Japanese B-movies.  I loved Machine Girl.  And, Sukeban Boy was pretty ridiculous.  But, watching this movie just made me tired—kinda the same way I felt when I watched Maiko Haaan!  This is one of those super-gross movies where girls are turned into an army fighting robot/human hybrids.  Believe it or not, this is an actual genre of films.  The filmmakers capitalize on the gross-out factor of seeing the ladies’ bodies split open to reveal all kinds of crazy artillery inside.  And, there’s usually some disgusting stuff involving food too—like punishing a bad guy by having his hand cooked up in a tempura deep fryer.  And, this film does have all those typical elements, but the story was complete nonsense.  They didn’t even try to string scenes together in a meaningful way.

Well, in this movie the story is about two sisters who do not get along.  The elder one is a beautiful, popular but cruel geisha.  And, the younger one is her “less-beautiful” helper (even though the actress is super cute).  Although, a visiting wealthy businessman notices the potential in both of these women and promptly brings them to his headquarters.  What he hasn’t told them is that he isn’t planning on having them work as geishas.  He’s going to add them to his army of robotic, fighting, (scantily clad), lady-bodyguards.  Every good criminal mastermind has got to have a few of those on hand at any time.  Because, that’s what he is—a complete megalomaniac, with his heart set on conquering Japan.  But, that back-story is just for show.  Really, this movie is just one big excuse to film lots of tough ladies get into all kinds of different catfights, and maim each other in all kinds of grotesque ways.  And, the main matchup is, of course, between the two rival sisters.  This movie bills itself as a feminist comedy, but the filmmakers seem all too delighted to see these catty ladies hack each other to pieces.  But, maybe he considers having ladies in sports bras doing martial arts to be feminist.  Oh well.

I don’t think I’d recommend this movie.  If you were interested in this kind of trashy Japanese flick, I’d definitely go with one of the ones I mentioned above.  They’re much funnier, and a lot less exhausting to watch.  Although, be well warned that all of these movies are going to be horrifically gory.  But, it’s all in a really fake, cartoonish way.

The Great Gatsby - A Wild Party

Movie: The Great Gatsby

My Rating: 4 stars

I just saw this movie in the theater over the weekend, and I actually liked it a lot.  I was surprised because the critics pretty much hated it.  I’m not quite sure why.  Maybe it was a little bit of snobbishness—people who wanted to write about how much they remember about the story from reading it in high school.  Or, maybe it was just a reaction against Baz Luhrmann’s over the top style.  He really goes whole hog, and pours obscene amounts of money into his projects.  And, there’s a little more comedy in this film than people have come to expect from the story.  Although, I suspect that it may just be that some people didn’t like having this classic story set in the 20s paired with a hip-hop soundtrack.

I thought the hip-hop soundtrack was one of the best ideas ever.  Hip-hop is all about celebrating a completely lavish lifestyle of partying and overindulging.  And, that’s essentially what the 1920s were all about—drinking and dancing and spending obscene amounts of money on clothing.  And, Gatsby’s parties from the story were supposed to be legendary.  I thought it was a particularly appropriate juxtaposition, because this film gets the parties right.  They’re completely out of control—definitely something I’d be interested in attending.  I’m not sure what people think is missing from this film.  It captures all the elements from the book.  The film highlights Gatsby’s level of delusion, and his corruption.  It shows just how empty all his grand spectacles really are.  He hosts his parties week after week to try to capture the attention of his long lost love, but he’s completely forgotten how to be a real person, or that she’s a person too.  It’s all there.  The visuals and choreography and music are all large and lavish and beautiful, but the film still manages to convey how miserable all the characters really are.

I’ve seen this story done as a stage play several times, but I never quite got the full feel of the tragedy from those performances.  I thought this movie did an excellent job of pacing the story to highlight all the human emotion.  People criticized this film as being empty and frivolous, but I think they may be missing the point that the story is about an empty and frivolous way of life.  Leonardo DiCaprio plays delusional very well.  And, Carey Mulligan is very convincing as the thoughtless and privileged Daisy.  I think I would recommend this film.  It’s a big fun party, which is something I always like in a movie.  And, you may just remember a thing or two from high school literature.

The Comedy - More Terrible People

Movie: The Comedy

My Rating: 4 Stars

I’ve always been a fan of the humor of Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim.  They’ve got such a dark sensibility, and they really push the boundaries of what’s acceptable to talk about in public, that their comedy feels very thrilling and naughty.  But, up to this point I had only been able to experience it through their show, Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!  Of course, there was Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie, but that was really just an extension of the show.  So, I was pretty excited to see that they would be involved in this independent film that was totally separate from those other, well-developed comedic personas.  Both actors are in this film, but it’s really all about Tim Heidecker.  Wareheim only plays a small, supporting part in this story.

This film bills itself as a dark comedy, and it does contain some absurd elements, but the story is really much more tragic.  And, given that these guys have been going through some pretty rough times in their personal lives—most notably with Tim Heidecker’s recent real-life mental breakdown—this is exactly the kind of movie I would have expected them to make.  Heidecker plays a particularly aimless, jaded young adult, who is wealthy enough not to have to work, or really do anything worthwhile with his life.  He’s a Williamsburg, Brooklyn trust fund baby—a purposeless hipster.  It kind of reminded me of American Animal in that way.  This is a story about how this modern, idle and meaningless lifestyle can really lead to some pretty destructive tendencies.  Not everyone has any kind of creative impulse.  So it seems pretty clear that most people wouldn’t actually do anything all that great with their time without the need to work for a living.  And, Heidecker is really a monster in this film.  He resorts to small practical jokes, misanthropic shenanigans, and generally messing with other peoples’ heads to amuse himself.  It’s pretty ugly stuff.  And, even more disturbingly, we know that Heidecker is drawing one some of his own, personal torment for this role.

This is a film for fans of gritty indie films only.  It’s a really depressing wallow in human misery.  Of course, this is the misery of a wealthy man, so it’s not quite as soul-crushing as a film about the awful things people have to do out of poverty.  But, it does reveal the repugnant things a person can become.  And, that’s chilling in its own way.  But, while this story isn’t necessarily enjoyable, this is still a very good movie.  It’s definitely worth watching if you enjoy dark, indie films, or are a fan of Tim & Eric in general.  Just don’t expect to feel very good about humanity afterward.

After Porn Ends - Usually Regret

Movie: After Porn Ends

My Rating: 3 stars

Well, I’ve really been on a roll, watching depressing documentaries about how people can really ruin their lives.  And, this one is about retired porn stars—including individuals who one day came to their senses, and left the industry on fairly good terms, and those who finally snapped because the horrifying, degrading things they were being asked to do eventually became to much for them to handle.  The subjects are a wide range of ages.  The filmmaker interviews some individuals who got into the industry when it started in the 70s.  And, then he also talks to a few who participated for a few years, and who are now retiring as very haggard looking twenty-somethings.  The documentary interviews both female and male “actors,” and as you might imagine, their experiences really are quite different. 

As clichéd as it sounds, the differences seem to be based on whether the subject is a man or a woman, and on specifically which decade they joined the biz.  The industry really seemed a lot friendlier in the 70s than it is now—a lot less degrading.  And, the stories about how these people got started in the porn business differ too.  Most of the male actors talk about having just “fallen into” making porn, whatever that means.  It seems like there has to be some decision-making at some point in the process, but oh well.  But, these guys have a relatively healthy relationship with their past.  They don’t mind taking about it, and they almost seem amused by the whole idea.  However, most of the women were either coerced into the business by unscrupulous friends or family members, or were drawn to the life out of some sort of deep-seated insecurity.  And, they all seem to vaguely regret their life decisions.  Of course, a couple of the women are still making great claims about how empowering it was for them, but it seems like those are the ones who are still wrestling with their personal insecurity issues.  All the women come off as pretty depressed about the whole thing, and it was really very heart wrenching to watch them tell their stories.

I don’t thinks it’s really necessary to watch this documentary.  The message is really very common sense and predictable.  And, the film doesn’t reveal any groundbreaking, new information.  This is really just a curiosity piece for people who like to peer into the “exotic” lives of others—or for people who like to do a lot of moralizing about the dangers “sinful” lifestyles.  But, of course, I was drawn to this film because of the naughtiness factor, so I’m not going to blame you if you do the same.  Just be prepared to feel pretty bad for these people afterward.

The Imposter - A Cuckoo in the Nest

Movie: The Imposter

My Rating: 4 stars

Now, this is a creepy film.  It serves to remind you that there really are some seriously crazy people out there.  And, I’m not just talking about your average, neurotic, stress cases.  The subject of this documentary is a legitimate psychopath.  And, to make matters more frightening, he’s terrifyingly clever too.    This film tells the story of a remarkably improbable case of real-life identity fraud.  This kind of thing doesn’t happen very often.  Or rather, it usually gets caught at a much earlier stage.  But, in this instance, a twenty-four year old Frenchman living in Spain managed to convince a Texas family that he was their long-lost sixteen-year old son who was abducted three years previously. 

This guy was a different height, different build, had different hair and eye color, and spoke English with a foreign accent.  But, he pulled off his grift so convincingly that not only did he convince this family that he was their missing relative, but he even convinced multiple government review boards of his new identity, even scoring a US passport.  That’s either some masterful acting, or an embarrassingly gargantuan case of government incompetence.  Most likely, it was a combination of both.  It appears that this guy avoided having to answer too many questions from his “family” by alluding to horrible sexual abuse and torture that he suffered at the hands of his abductors.  I don’t think I’d want to press someone very hard if they seemed that emotionally scarred.  And, enough years had passed, that he could explain the dramatic physical “change.”  He was aided by the fact that the real boy disappeared at thirteen—before he would have fully gone through puberty.  But every story has holes in it.  And, I had hoped that an FBI investigation of the case would have been rigorous enough to detect some of them.  But, ultimately those investigators were human too, and they were just as susceptible to this faker’s ruses as anyone would be.  It ultimately took an uninterested, outside observer to notice the inconsistencies and start asking questions—someone who wasn’t caught up in the complex web of emotions.

This film is certainly an interesting examination of human psychology and how easy it is to be exploited.  The implications are terrifying, actually.  I’m not confident that I would be able to see through a scheme like this.  In fact, I’d be particularly likely to be deceived since I’m such a sensitive soul.  I guess I’m just lucky that I haven’t been targeted by anybody more duplicitous than a car salesman.  This is an excellent documentary, and you should definitely seek it out.  And, it contains an astonishing amount of surprises, given that most people begin watching it with a basic understanding of how the whole case ended up playing out.  The filmmaker does impressive job of pacing the story, doling out pieces of the puzzle little by little, and keeping you guessing.  I really enjoyed this one, and I highly recommend it to everyone.