Johnny Mnemonic - Pretty Painful

Movie: Johnny Mnemonic

My Rating: 2 stars

Uuuuuugh.  I’m not quite sure how to write out the primordial wail that emanated from my soul after trying to make sense of this movie.  Not that anyone was asking me to.  This is a very old movie about the internet.  It came out in 1995.  And, we all know that very old movies about the internet are always groaners.  I guess that’s part of the fun.  But, I’m pretty sure I watched this movie about twenty years too late to enjoy it properly.  I suppose if I had watched it and liked it right when it came out, I might have some nostalgic love for the film that would outweigh how ridiculous it is.  But, I watched this movie for the first time in 2018, and it really didn’t hold up to the kind of scrutiny I was giving it.

The movie stars Keanu Reeves as our cyber-courier.  He carries highly sensitive information that has been uploaded into his brain to clients that are very secretive, and usually dangerous.  We get some classic mid-90s Keanu Reeves acting too—always monotone, never really quite sure of the appropriate tone for the scene.  These days, Keanu Reeves has finally found the perfect role for his understated acting style in the John Wick character.  And, I had almost forgotten why he had been such a punchline for jokes about bad acting for the longest time.  So, I was delighted to be reminded of how completely dramatically tone-deaf he once was.  That was a treat.  But unfortunately, I had to sit through the rest of this nonsense story.  Granted, it’s always pretty hilarious to see what people from a long time ago thought the future was going to look like.  In this case, it’s a grimy dystopia with an extreme rift between the high-tech luxurious lives of the rich, and the oil-can fires of the technophobic poor.  Technology body implants are a thing in this world, but there are just as many dangerous, back-alley body-mods as there are safe, sterile ones.  But, the biggest takeaway I got from this movie is that people in the future are really into face paints, vaguely Asian garb, and silver tops.  Sadly, there were no shiny jumpsuits.

I don’t think this movie is worth watching if you’re coming to it for the first time now.  I’m sure it has some nostalgia value for people who knew and loved the film in the 90s.  But, it really doesn’t hold up.  I suppose there’s a pretty interesting anthropological essay that could be written about people’s perception of the future based on this and a bunch of the other “internet” movies that came out in the 90s.  But, if you’re just looking for a movie to watch for fun, keep looking.

Split - All Set Up, No Delivery

Movie: Split

My Rating: 3 stars

This movie had a lot going for it in theory.  It’s a dark thriller about a man with split personalities, staring James McAvoy—one of my favorites.  It’s a ticking-clock scenario in which kidnapped teens are trying to escape from a madman before he murders them all.  It all sounds very exciting.  I just wish the movie had lived up to all this potential.  The movie ended up being all set-up without a very satisfying follow-through.

A group of three very spoiled teenage girls is kidnapped.  They seem to have been targeted specifically because of this brattiness.  Of course, they’re not being told why they’ve been taken, or what their captor wants from them.  But it becomes clear pretty quickly that their kidnapper isn’t even a little bit sane.  The girls are locked in a room and based on the voices they can hear through the door, they think they may be being held by a group of several different people—the man who took them, a woman, and maybe a boy.  But, when they manage to get a peak, it becomes blood-chillingly clear that they are all one person with a split personality—the madman who abducted them.  Their only chance it to try to convince one of this man’s more sympathetic personalities to help them to escape.  Of course, the girls don’t know who they’re going to get from moment to moment.  And, they don’t know how much of this personality split is real, or if it’s just calculated to terrify them.  It’s that uncertainty that’s the most terrifying part about all of this.

But, I really don’t think I recommend this movie to very many people.  I do admit that the premise of the story is very interesting.  And, James McAvoy’s acting is pretty amazing.  In total, I think I remember him playing seven completely distinct characters, and his demeanor changes so entirely from one to the others that you know exactly who he is before he even opens his mouth.  So, if you’re a fan of James McAvoy like I am, perhaps the movie is worth a look.  But, the story is really pretty disappointing.  It’s just poorly executed.  It’s another M. Night Shyamalan creation, and as usual, he fails to deliver on a fairly promising set-up.  So, don’t waste your time unless you can’t tear yourself away from gazing into McAvoy’s sweet baby-blues.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle - Such a Delight

Movie: Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

My Rating: 5 stars

Well, this movie was an unexpected delight.  It had it all—a bit of nostalgia, a cheeky sense of humor, hilarious acting, a sense of childlike fun and whimsy.  I’m a fan.  In fact, this movie was so much fun that I’m pretty excited to watch it again.  When the first Jumanji came out in 1995, my brother and I were at an age when we thought this movie was just about the coolest thing ever.  I liked the idea of Safari-wear.  My brother liked the idea of turning into a monkey.  Actually, I think both of us liked both of those things.  But mostly, the idea of getting sucked into an adventure bard game with real life-or-death consequences felt very exciting.  And of course, at the time, those lumbering, CGI animals were the height of technological achievement.

I love the conceit of this movie.  The “spirit” inside the old Jumanji board game, sensing that no one was really interested that kind of old-fashioned toy anymore, transferred itself into a videogame cartridge, so as to better lure in its prey.  It was an ingenious way to update the story, while capturing enough of the original character of the first movie to elicit plenty of nostalgia.  It sure worked on me.  And, I like how the mechanics of the game were similarly updated to include the typical tropes of a cooperative video-game—lives, inventory, different skills and weaknesses, delightfully deadpan NPCs.  The tongue-in-cheek tone was spot on, and I was completely charmed.  Even though the first movie was released more than twenty years ago, I had liked it so much at the time, that I didn’t even have to go back and re-watch it to catch all the references to it in this one.

This movie was also cast really well.  You can’t get much funnier actors than Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Rhys Darby, and Jack Black.  And you can’t much more charming than Karen Gillan and Nick Jonas.  And, I loved that the high-school kids that were supposedly inhabiting these video game avatars were almost completely opposite in personality from what their characters were supposed to be.  That’s a difficult feat of acting to pull of believably, and they all accomplished it perfectly.  I highly recommend this movie to everyone.  I think it’s pretty family friendly.  And, it would definitely appeal to a wide variety of personalities.  And, it’s a wonderfully corny, yet exciting, good time.

Thor Ragnarok - I Watched it for Taika Waititi

Movie: Thor Ragnarok

My Rating: 4 stars

I probably wasn’t going to bother watching this film.  I’ve grown a bit weary of all these Marvel movies that keep getting cranked out.   There are so many of them, and they’re so similar in tone that I can’t even keep track of which ones I’ve seen and which I haven’t.  But then I discovered that this one was directed by Taika Waititi.  I love Taika Waititi’s work, and I’m always willing to check any of his projects.  I was certain that his unique sense of humor would bring something a little different to this superhero movie.  And it did.  That being said, the movie does feel as if Waititi’s cinematic sensibilities have been sterilized a bit by the studio execs in order to appeal to a broader audience.  His personality is definitely in there, but not in all its hilariously awkward glory.

I think this movie is definitely more about the small comedic moments than it is about the heroic, action-oriented story.  In fact, the overarching narrative—Thor trying to escape slavery as a gladiator while his home world is being destroyed by his evil sister—might as well be an afterthought.  Because, as a viewer, I was completely charmed by all the enchanting new characters being introduced.  I love Jeff Goldblum as the sleazy Grandmaster at the helm of the gladiatorial spectacles.  And, I was delighted to see Rachel House (who appears in all of Waititi’s movies) as Goldblum’s overzealous sidekick.  I’m always a fan of Tom Hiddleston’s Loki—a character I unfortunately relate to a little too much.  In my heart, I’d love to be the kind of bad-ass Valkyrie chick played by Tessa Thompson.  But, regrettably I seem to find myself in the position of making some of the same “it seemed like a good idea at the time” life choices that Loki does.  Sigh.  Of course, I’m always enamored with the kind of stylish, all-powerful, dark, female villain that Cate Blanchett plays.  And seeing Carl Urban as her hapless henchman was worth a chuckle.  All-in-all, this movie was cast and acted very well, which is what lead to my ultimately deciding that I liked it, even though I’m not really into comics.

But, his movie really is a fun time.  You probably don’t even have to be all that into the Marvel super-hero movies to enjoy it.  Of course, it is a big blockbuster, with all the glitz, fast cuts, action, and big budget.  And, it does water down the usually subtle and subversive comedy of Taika Waititi.  But, there’s still plenty of entertainment to be had, and eccentricity to enjoy.  I’d say, see it.  Of course, it might help to see the previous Thor movies for a bit of context, but it’s not strictly necessary.

Alien Covenant - Wish it Were Better

Movie: Alien Covenant

My Rating: 3 stars

I wish this movie made more sense.  I always loved these movies as a kid—some more than others of course.  But, I’ve really only been satisfied by the original three movies.  And, that third one really only made it in by the skin of its teeth.  But I’ve been pretty disappointed by most of the newer sequel/prequels.  And, I am always predisposed to like new additions to my favorite old franchises.  I’m usually prepared to be very generous with my judgement in those cases.  But, this movie really just felt like it was going through the motions, hitting the necessary beats for it to officially fall into the Alien world, but ultimately failing to capture the essence.

On paper, this movie seems to have it all—a tough female lead, a creepy android who’s probably up to no good, some super-gross rib-cage bursting scenes, a few characters who are punished for their sexuality with said rib-cage bursting.  But, this movie really feels like it was written by a committee of studio executives rather than by someone who really cared about the franchise or even sci-fi in general.  It feels pretty soulless.  That being said, I did like that the film at least attempted to explain some of the total nonsense introduced into the canon in Prometheus.  I enjoyed getting to visit the “Architects’” world and seeing what their civilization was like.  And, a lot of the Giger-style body horror is still pretty spot-on.  It’s very gruesome stuff.  And, it was pretty remarkable that the filmmakers managed to come up with a few original scares given how expansive and varied this universe of Alien movies has become.

I found this movie to be pretty disappointing overall.  Of course, I had heard that and was aware of it going in, and I was still committed to watching it.  I’ll probably never stop watching these Alien movies as long as they’re being made—mostly because of the nostalgia factor.  It sounds a bit strange to say about a gruesome horror movie, but I’ll always have a soft place in my heart for these films.  But, there’s also a part of me that’s hoping that one of these days a new director will do the story some justice.  I’m sure they’ll continue to churn out new additions every few years, and I’ll probably see them all.  So, I’ll keep crossing my fingers for a good one.  I don’t think there’s any need for you to see this movie unless you have an emotional attachment to the franchise like I do.  But, I’ll keep your posted as to whether a good, new one ever gets made.

Mayhem - Bad Day at the Office

Movie: Mayhem

My Rating: 3 stars

I’m a sucker for a good battle-royale.  And, I’m especially fond of the kind of horror/comedy/thriller movie where employees of an oppressive, corporate overlord have finally had enough, and are taking their frustrations out on their oppressors.  And, if power-tools are being used, all the better.  Although, I’m a little unclear on exactly what type of office has nail guns and radial saws just laying around for casual use.  But, I’m willing to be very generous in my suspension of disbelief.  Plus, this story is supposed to be a bit surreal.  So, I can go along with the fun. 

This particular brand of dystopic anarchy is caused by a virus.  It’s highly communicable and causes those infected to descend into a state of pure id.  Sex, violence, rock and roll—all your wildest impulses will come bubbling to the surface for a period of about twenty-four hours.  Of course, an outbreak like this at any office isn’t really conducive to getting much work done.  But at the cut-throat law firm in this story, the situation gets pretty dangerous.  At least the characters will finally get to do something about all those grudges they’ve kept hidden deep inside.

This movie started off on the right foot in my book with its casting.  Steven Yeun is pretty sexy, so casting him as Derek, the main protagonist whose meltdown we follow as the running through-line was an inspired choice.  And, Samara Weaving (playing Melanie) matches him beat for beat as his partner in crime/love interest.  They both capture that air of nothing-to-lose desperation with a touch of crazy-eye.  And, all the corporate fat-cats and partners in this law firm are played by the most perfectly smug and evil-looking character actors you could hope for.  They all look and act unendurably shady and manipulative.  Once the virus hits, Derek’s goal is to make it upstairs to the power-player’s floor to give his bosses a piece of his mind.  But, this law firm is locked down like a fortress.  Employees need the right keycard and authorization codes to travel up to the seat of power.  It almost feels like a video game: our hero sets out on a quest, running the gauntlet of murderous, feral coworkers, and searching for the key that will take him to the next level.

This is a fun movie.  It’s not serious at all.  But, the pacing is exciting, and it hits all the necessary elements for an office place showdown.  It isn’t even really the best example in the genre.  But, it had enough fun elements that it kept my attention well enough.  I won’t lie to you.  I mostly watched this movie to see Steven Yeun running around, wielding power tools.  And, this movie delivers that in abundance.  And, the story has enough “underdog sticking it to the man” to be emotionally satisfying.  I guess I’d recommend it if you like movies in this genre.  But, it’s probably not for a much wider audience.

The Shape of Water - Just Another Workplace Romance

Movie: The Shape of Water

My Rating: 3 stars

This movie is an odd creature (no pun intended).  The idea is so big and bizarre—a woman meets and falls in love with a merman at the top secret, scientific laboratory where she works.  But, the story is also so small.  It could be as simple as: a woman falls in love at work.  I’d like to say that there’s more to the story than that.  And, there are a couple of miniscule subplots featuring this woman’s best friend and neighbor.  But, that really is the meat of it.  I think the movie even intentionally highlights the small scale of this narrative by focusing in on the trivial, unchanging, daily routines each character has.  The film really seems to be more about those banal rituals than it is about the fantastical creature the evil scientists have captured.

I’m not quite sure why the Academy went so bananas for this movie at the Oscars.  It was up for all kinds of awards.  But, I thought the movie was really just ok.  Guillermo del Toro’s aesthetics are always so haunting and impressive.  His imagery is so grotesque, and always a little frightening.  But, he’s made plenty of other films that I thought were way better.  I’m not sure why people chose this one in particular to triumph.  The film is paced like a children’s fairy tale.  And, I suppose this story really is supposed to be a modern fairy tale of sorts.  But, it felt a bit out of place in the context of a feature film. 

If I were to evaluate this movie based on the story alone, I would probably have rated it lower.  But, I do have to balance than against my love for the artistic style of Guillermo del Toro.  He really knows how to create magic with imagery.  And, he manages to convey so much mood and tone with the aesthetics alone.  His protagonists are presented in a style that feels very dilapidated, romantic, and European.  Whereas the antagonists are displayed as bright, sterile, squeaky-clean, and vulgarly American.  So much of the storytelling is accomplished with this use of artistic style.  And, I always respect that in filmmaking.  I’m not going to fault anyone who really enjoyed this movie.  I can see what there is to like about it and can appreciate it for what it is.  But, it didn’t happen to fall quite as deeply in love with it as other people did.

Little Evil - Kids are Creepy

Movie: Little Evil

My Rating: 3 stars

By now you’ve got to know that I love a horror-comedy.  It’s probably my favorite genre.  So, this comedy about a hapless newlywed Gary, whose new step-son may or may not be the Antichrist, really piqued my interest.  Of course, just about every step-dad is probably convinced that his new wife’s kid is the spawn of Satan.  But, when the little guy is able to summon plagues and rain down hellfire on his enemies, we have to admit that Dad may have a point.  Of course, Mom Samantha doesn’t want to hear a word of it.  Lucas is her little angel and she just can’t understand why anyone would blame a child for a few school administrators getting buried alive or perishing in a spontaneous fire.

Evangeline Lilly is pleasant as the mom, Samantha.  She’s sweet and beautiful and plays the earnest character very well.  But, Adam Scott and his posse of other step-dads really steal the show.  Scott is always great playing the straight-man.  He really has a talent for taking himself very seriously in the funniest way possible.  I think his natural resting face looks bewildered. And, the group of other step-dad friends from the neighborhood really punctuate the silliness.  I especially like Bridget Everett as Al.  And, of course, there’s the little devil himself, Owen Atlas as Lucas.  Little kids are always pretty creepy when they’re used in horror movies.  But, this little guy really nails being comedically sinister.  He’s got the right little face for it.  It’s all very funny.

This movie is pretty easy to get your hands on.  I got it streaming through Netflix.  I think it’s part of their new catalog of original content.  So, it’s definitely worth checking out this one.  It’s well-made, moves quickly, and the comedy is spot-on in tone.  It is definitely at the sillier end of the horror-comedy spectrum, so it’s not really a “must-see.”  But, it’s a good choice if you’re in the mood for some irreverent fun.

The Wedding Plan - Absurd Fun

Movie: The Wedding Plan

My Rating: 3 stars

I enjoy a wholesome religious comedy from time to time.  Now, I’m not talking about films like those Christian movies that are not-so-secretly trying to proselytize to viewers.  I can’t stand anything too preachy.  And, I’m not talking about mainstream movies that have been scrubbed of any possibly offensive material for a “family” audience.  When I say “religious comedy,” I mean movies that derive their humor from the crazy, frequently comedic positions a person is put in because of their adherence to a certain religious doctrine.  This isn’t making fun of those religions.  In fact, most of this type of movie is made by members of the religion in question, and it’s their attempt to poke a little fun at themselves and some of the farcical situations they may find themselves in because of their lifestyle.  I can’t stand humorless people or content.  So, I’m always happy to celebrate people who are willing to embrace life’s absurdities.  And, this movie really is a silly one.

Michal wants to get married.  And, she’s also a very religious, Orthodox Jew living in Jerusalem.  She’s done waiting around for the right man to come along.  The match-makers aren’t having any luck with her case.  And clearly, none of her own efforts to find a husband have been working either.  So, she’s decided to let God take over the whole mess.  She sets a date for her wedding, books a venue, buys a dress, and pays for all the food and flowers.  She trusts that God will deliver her a groom at the right time and place.  It’s a ridiculous premise, and the comedy gets pretty silly along the way to the altar.  This movie definitely falls right into that genre of comedy with a crazy (but loveable) female protagonist who can’t help but getting in her own way.  This movie is lighthearted and fun, and the inherently tragic nature of this kind of character doesn’t bring the mood down too much.

This is a pretty cute movie.  It’s nothing too special—nothing I’d go out of my way to see.  I kinda just stumbled across it, myself.  But, it was enjoyable nonetheless.  And, it’s the kind of “romantic comedy” that won’t send you into diabetic shock.  But at its heart, it’s pretty fluffy and insubstantial.  So, if this movie sounds right up your alley, go ahead and rent it.  I think you’ll really like it.  But for everyone else, you won’t be missing out on very much if you decide to skip it.

Call Me By Your Name - Steamy Stuff

Movie: Call Me By Your Name

My Rating: 4 stars

I had heard a lot about this film before I finally got my hands on it.  Everyone who had seen it told me that it’s sexy, and sad, and beautiful.  And, after having watched the movie, I’d have to say that I agree.  But, what I think it the most remarkable about this movie is that it does an amazing job of conjuring up all those intense, painful, exciting emotions that every hormone-addled teen has felt when they’re taking their first steps into romantic love.  Those emotions are so powerful and all-consuming.  When you’re first experiencing that kind of love or infatuation for the first time, it’s all you can think about.  It consumes your thoughts, but it’s also a little scary too because it’s so new.  And, this movie captures the essence of those feelings very well.

This movie is about a teenage boy, Elio, who is experiencing that first intense, romantic attraction to Oliver, his father’s research assistant that is staying with their villa in Italy for the summer.  Of course, the situation is even more complex and tortuous than first love already is because Elio is also coming to terms with the fact that he is attracted to men.  And, this movie is set in the early 1980s, a time when being openly gay was less accepted than it is now.  But, this story isn’t about how the rest of the world perceives the relationship between these two men.  That context merely serves to frame the story between Oliver and Elio.  The story is really told from inside the relationship.  It’s very intimate, and very personal.  In fact, we only get hints as to how the men feel about what everyone else thinks of them.  They’re really more concerned with feeling out the boundaries between them.  It really gets the blood racing.

I think this movie can be enjoyed by a pretty wide audience.  Of course, there are always going to be those people that are made uncomfortable by any sexual content in a movie.  And, the undercurrent of this movie really is very sexual.  But, the majority of the sex is merely implied or happens off-screen.  So, there’s nothing very explicit to embarrass you when watching this in mixed company.  That being said, I still probably wouldn’t watch this movie with my mother.  So, if you’re in the mood for a very moody, sexy, European-style love story, this is the movie for you.

Wild Wild Country - Cult or Commune?

Movie: Wild Wild Country

My Rating: 4 stars

This is actually a new documentary series streaming on Netflix, instead of a movie.  But, I found it interesting enough that I wanted to write about it here.  I was already a bit familiar with this story, since I listened to Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds talking about it on their podcast, The Dollop.  But, episodes of that podcast usually run about an hour long.  So, at nearly six times that length, this series is able to delve much deeper into the topic of the Rajneeshpuram commune that started in Oregon in the 1980s, and all the mayhem that surrounded its rise and fall.

This really is a fascinating documentary.  At first glance, a viewer may be led to believe that this is a simple story about a new-age community, and the uptight townspeople that reject it as a “cult,” and object to its sinful ways.  And, of course, that is exactly how this story starts.  But, this story very quickly spirals out of control, and each new episode is crazier than the last.  And, unless you’re already very familiar with this story from when it happened in the 80s, you’ll never guess the wild new twists and turns it takes.

The thing I like best about this documentary is that it isn’t obviously trying to make viewers side with one side over the other.  One episode will present the absolutely ridiculous behavior of the Rajneeshees, and then the very next will examine the poor behavior of the townsfolk.  I found my allegiance flipping at many points throughout the series.  And, I think it was created that way by design.  Of course, the ultimate lesson we learn by the end is that both sides were pretty insane.  Both sides had valid arguments, but both were also behaving rather badly when in direct conflict with teach other.  The whole series really is a lesson in considering the source of information you rely on or being aware of the possible biases in reporting.  So, if anything, this documentary series teaches one to be a bit more mindful.  But, it’s also a pretty wild story.

I definitely recommend you watch this series.  At six episodes, it initially feels a bit long for a simple story about a commune that is having conflicts with the surrounding community.  But believe me when I tell you that they absolutely do have enough material to fill out the whole six episodes.  You almost won’t believe your ears when you hear some of this stuff.  It’s a good time, and definitely worth the investment of time.

Ready Player One - Satisfying Nostalgia

Movie: Ready Player One

My Rating: 5 stars

I enjoyed this movie a lot.  I saw it in the theater with a crowd full of people who were grinning and laughing right alongside me.  But somehow, I feel a bit sheepish admitting that I liked it so much.  It’s definitely because Steven Spielberg has gained a well-earned reputation for creating sentimental drivel.  So, I guess I feel pretty uncool at having enjoyed one of his movies.  But, I still don’t know why I’m feeling so defensive about this one.  I guess people are pretty split on this whole story as a whole.  I read the book first, and really liked it.  But, some critics disparage it for shamelessly pandering to nostalgia (which makes it a perfect property for a Spielberg adaptation, in my book).  But, I view it as more of a genuine expression of nerdy enthusiasm for 80s pop-culture.  And I, of all people, cannot fault anyone else for being overenthusiastic.  That’s my bread and butter.

The story is about a time in the near future when the economy has pretty much collapsed, life is bleak, and only a few mega-corporations are in control the entirety of commerce.  Virtual reality has progressed to the point where people can work, go to school, and generally live complete, satisfying lives in an online world.  And, since there’s not much waiting for them in the real world, more and more people are disappearing into “The Oasis.”  This idea taps into some topics and sentiments that feel remarkably timely, so the story really speaks to me.  Plus, a lot of the future stuff it imagines seems so cool.  As bleak a portrait as this story paints of the world, I would be so interested in exploring all the experiences on offer in the Oasis.  I can’t say confidently that I wouldn’t be one of the people to disappear into an online persona.

Since I really enjoyed the book, I was a bit nervous about the adaptation.  I always get that way when a favorite of mine gets reimagined for the big screen.  I’ve been burned many times before (Golden Compass, I’m looking at you).  I respect an author’s work, and I generally feel that when a big studio gets involved in a project, too many cooks spoil the broth.  But, I’ve been pleasantly surprised as often as I’ve been disappointed.  And, this is one of those cases.  This movie doesn’t try to recreate the book scene for scene.  Sometimes that’s what you want, but other times, a story is too conceptual or scattered to translates well to the screen as-is.  And, this story was heavily reworked to tell a tighter story.  Some complete new ideas are added.  And, there are whole subplots that are completely missing.  But, the essence and heart of what this story is remains intact, and that’s why I found the adaptation to be pretty satisfying.  And of course, this has the added benefit of preventing fans from either being bored because they know everything that’s going to happen or complaining that the movie didn’t do a particular plot point justice.

As you may imagine, this is a visually stunning movie.  The majority of the story is set in the Oasis, so most of the movie is computer generated.  And, that allows the filmmakers to go completely wild with effects and action sequences.  And, the filmmakers really swing for the fences in that regard.  One of the points the narrator makes in the movie is that there really are no limitations when it comes to choosing who you want to be online or how you want to look.  So, the visual team has some real fun with character design.  There are tons of fun (and, of course, nostalgic) references for people who take the time to take it all in.  It’s the kind of movie that definitely warrants a re-watch, if only to catch more of the allusions.  Of course, the movie is horribly cheesy.  And, it’s sappy as hell.  But, I found myself in the mood for exactly that sort of thing when I went to see it this weekend.  So, I imagine that may be the same case for plenty of you too.

Your Name. - Intense Teenage Emotions

Movie: Your Name.

My Rating: 4 stars

The premise for this movie sounded so funny.  “Mitsuha and Taki are complete strangers living separate lives until they suddenly switch places. Mitsuha wakes up in Taki's body, and he in hers.”  A good gender-body-swap comedy is always good for a few easy laughs—especially since the characters are high-school kids.  And, this movie does, indeed, serve up some of that low-hanging fruit.  (Picture a lot of boob-fondling as the boy, Taki, wakes up in the girl, Mitsuha’s, body).  But, this movie is actually a lot more than just a comedy.  It develops into something like a melancholy, mystical, cosmic romance by the end.  And, it’s something you’ll be on board for by the time the story gets to that point.

The story is a little hard to describe beyond that initial premise because it gets pretty confusing once the initial gags are over.  The story is told from the point of view of the two main characters.  And, since they’re pretty confused by what’s happening to them, we necessarily are too.  Of course, we do have a bit more of an omniscient viewpoint than they do.  But, we figure things out at the same rate that they do.  Plus, a lot of these metaphysical dramas are written to be a bit “mysterious,” (even though that often just means that the author didn’t feel like explaining stuff or coming up with something that makes sense).  But, while there are elements in this movie that I never manage to make sense of myself, it’s executed in such a stylish, beautiful way that I was perfectly willing to accept the more flattering explanation.

The animation in this movie really is gorgeous. It captures the romantic, sentimental view of what life in rural Japan is like (in fictional tales).  And, it also depicts the stereotypical character of the fast, anonymous and impersonal life in a busy city.  And, I feel that it juxtaposes these two extremes in a way that suggests that neither is the exact truth.  It’s very interesting, and it really got me in a very contemplative, philosophical mood while watching it. 

I recommend this movie to anyone that’s a fan of sentimental Japanese animated movies.  This is a very good example of that genre.  So, if you’re going to dip your toe in that water, this is a good place to start.  But, if that doesn’t sound like your thing, don’t worry about it.  This movie isn’t for you, so you shouldn’t feel bad about skipping it.  But, I really loved the movie.  If anything, it reminded me of those intense feelings you have as a teenager.  And, that’s always an interesting well to dive into.

Logan Lucky - When You Thought Bank Heists Couldn't get Sillier

Movie: Logan Lucky

My Rating: 3 stars

This movie is pure silliness.  Sure, it holds itself out to be a tricky bank heist movie.  But, it’s really more of a farcical comedy.  But, I think all that tomfoolery was intended.  And, in that case, the movie accomplishes what it sets out to.  There are so many strange things about this movie.  It casts Channing Tatum, Adam Driver, and Riley Keough as siblings.  That’s bizarre.  It casts Daniel Craig as a West Virginian hillbilly.  That’s even more strange.  All the characters are presented as mildly dimwitted, yet apparently geniuses at planning bank heists.  I don’t necessarily think this movie is asking us to suspend our disbelief.  They’re just making our disbelief irrelevant by being so outrageous.  But, of course, that’s why this movie is such silly fun. 

I don’t think this movie was particularly successful.  And, it really is such an odd beast that I have a hard time imagining it as a crowd-pleasing blockbuster.  But, all the actors are so charming.  And, they’re all so funny, that I think it really did deserve a little more attention than it got.  It almost doesn’t even matter that the plot makes little sense.  The plan is that the Logan boys are going to rob the local NASCAR Speedway.  They’re down on their luck, but they’ve got local knowledge.  The problem is, they’re not exactly experts at planning elaborate heists.  The guy who is an expert, Joe Bang, is currently locked up in prison.  So, the plan is to break him out of jail just long enough to help them, then return him before anyone’s the wiser.  Fool-proof.

This movie is light and fluffy, and entirely unserious.  A lot of the physical gags border on slapstick.  The characters are ridiculous, and the actors are clearly having a good time.  Plus, if you like the kind of heist movie with elaborate twists, overcomplicated planning, and absurdly tight margins, this has got you covered.  Of course, none of it is credible in the least.  But then, if you’re into this kind of movie that wouldn’t bother you anyway.  So, next time you’re in the mood for something thoroughly outrageous, this is a good choice. 

Deepwater Horizon - Mark Wahlberg, America's Hero

Movie: Deepwater Horizon

My Rating: 2 stars

I didn’t hate this movie as much as my rating might suggest.  It’s a very dramatic film with all the usual symbolism, foreshadowing, and heavily telegraphed plot points.  And, it does get the heart racing a good bit.  But, it’s not a good movie.  In fact, this is probably one of the most ham-fisted pandering jobs I’ve seen in a while.  The movie is about a real-life disaster—the explosion of an offshore oil drilling rig (the Deepwater Horizon), and subsequent oil spill.  The movie touches a little bit on the causes of the disaster, but mostly focuses on a few of the heroes that helped rescue workers and evacuate the rig.  And naturally, Mark Wahlberg stars as hero number one, and Kurt Russell is hero number two.  People love those guys.

One thing that the movie makes a point of emphasizing is that this disaster was definitely, 100% the fault of the greedy corporate guys who care more about bathing in a swimming pool full of gold coins than about safety or compliance with the rules.  And, the movie is probably completely right about that.  But, it’s pretty comical the way the script keeps hammering it so gracelessly.  John Malkovich plays the big, bad guy in charge, and his character might as well have been cackling like a Bond villain and stroking a Persian cat.  But, I suppose the movie was never trying to be subtle.  It was designed to congratulate the honest, hard-working, blue-collar workers who keep the economy running.  And, boy does it ever accomplish that!

I’m not going to recommend this movie.  It was fine.  I didn’t mind watching it.  But, if you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve pretty much seen the whole movie. You get exactly what you see.  So, watching the action unfold at the pace of the movie makes it feel like the story drags on and on.  Of course, if you catch this movie on a lazy afternoon at home, or during a long plane flight, it’ll probably keep you adequately amused.  But, there’s no need to seek this one out.

Passengers - Ethics and Sci-Fi

Movie: Passengers

My Rating: 3 stars

I love a good sci-fi movie—especially if it’s a sci-fi thriller.  So, although this movie never got the best reviews, I was still pretty interested in seeing it.  The premise sounded pretty intriguing.  Thousands of people are being transported in suspended animation on a long-haul luxury space-liner.  The trip is supposed to take over a hundred years, but after only a decade or so into the journey, one man wakes up.  Although all the other sleeping passengers are still there with him, he’s essentially alone with no way to fix his predicament, and no way to tell anyone what’s happened.  That’s a very haunting prospect—to be surrounded with plenty, but to know you’re going to spend the rest of your life utterly alone.  It was enough to intrigue me.

I liked this movie.  The movie is pretty slick looking, and the actors are very charming.  Chris Pratt plays the unlucky man who awakens early.  Michael Sheen is the bartending robot who is the only company Pratt has to rely on at first.  And, Jennifer Lawrence, is the lady he has his eye on.  Of course, there are always going to be complaints about the way a director has handled the material.  And, I’ve read a number of articles proposing alternate treatments of this script.  And, of course some of them had good points.  Most of them proposed ways to build suspense in a more effective way.  But I wasn’t fundamentally dissatisfied with the way this movie turned out.  To me, this movie was more about exploring the idea of coming to terms with such a sudden change in fortunes than it was about creating suspense.  The philosophical and ethical questions the script raised were more important to me than the “thrilling” ones.  Although, there is a good amount of dramatic tension too.

This is a pretty fun movie.  I think I could go either way on recommending this one or not.  I enjoyed it.  And, I’m glad I watched it.  But, I can also acknowledge people’s complaints.  But, the movie is slick, and pretty, and proposes some pretty interesting ideas.

Star Wars: Episode VIII: The Last Jedi

Movie: Star Wars: Episode VIII: The Last Jedi

My Rating: 4 stars

I want to see this movie again.  In fact, I think I need to see it again in order to fully process the story.  As of writing this, I’ve only seen the movie once.  I saw it in the theater, which I think is the right way to experience a movie of this scale.  This movie is the next installment in the reincarnation of the Star Wars franchise now that it’s in Disney’s hands.  In general, I’ve been happy with the direction they’ve taken the property in.  The Star Wars universe is vast, and really should be in the hands of someone who is willing to dedicate enough budget and resources to do it justice.  But of course, since the movie so epic in scale, I feel like I wasn’t really able to take in the full picture in that one viewing.  So, I’m definitely going back.

This movie is a heartbreaker.  It’s pretty much an exercise in processing catastrophic loss and managing one’s grief.  We lose many characters we’ve grown to love and even more that we’ve just met.  And, the characters who do survive have to make such painful sacrifices that you know they’ll never be the same again.  It’s pretty brutal.  And, it’s the kind of movie that leaves you with a very heavy heart when you’re walking out of the theater.  But, it’s very beautiful. And, I found myself really thinking about it for days afterward.  I think the most interesting thing about this movie is that it is so unpredictable.  It starts up right where The Force Awakens left off (in fact, moments after).  And, at first it appears that the story will take the same heroic tone that we got from that first film.  But, quite abruptly the story veers off that broad road, and starts to take us on the strangest ride through the metaphorical underbrush.  And, the surprises just keep coming.  The film will give us a few predictable moments, followed immediately by the most idiosyncratic turns.  I don’t think there’s any way to foresee what’s going to happen next, or which direction the story will take.  There are so many sharp turns and dead ends along the way.  In the film, Luke Skywalker says to Rey, “This is not going to go the way you think.”  And, I think that really applies to the film as a whole.  It’s very disorienting and totally captivating.

As I mentioned before, I will be watching this movie again.  I feel like there’s so much I missed, and so much that I want to pay closer attention to.  I think it’s probably going to take me a while to really get a good feel for the film—or even to cement my feelings about it.  So, naturally I recommend it.  Of course, it won’t make any sense unless you’ve been following the films so far.  So, make sure you see those.  But, definitely give this one a watch or three.

I, Tonya - Tragic Comedy

Movie: I, Tonya

My Rating: 5 stars

I’m not sure I would have wanted to see this movie if I hadn’t seen the trailer.  The idea of a biopic about Tonya Harding didn’t immediately sound appealing to me.  I was imagining it’d be a salacious, tabloid-style, tell-all, sob story.  And, I’ve had enough of that brand of audience manipulation.  But, the trailer told a different story entirely.  It presented the movie as a self-aware, fourth-wall-breaking, ironic comedy.  And, that’s something I can generally get excited about.  But, in order for me to really enjoy a movie that’s been hyped up this much, it has to deliver more than the trailer promises.  And, this movie does, in the form of a truly humanizing, tragic story of a real girl who was abused and snubbed by almost everyone in her life.

This movie is still a comedy, and a hilarious one at that.  But, it manages to weave those laughs into the bleak backdrop of a pretty heartbreaking life story.  If the core message of this movie is to be believed, Tonya Harding was really used as a pawn by everyone she became close with.  Coaches saw this amazingly gifted athlete as a way to be associated with a champion.  And, her family used her as a punching bag (both physically and emotionally), as a way to make themselves feel better about their own sorry lives.  It seemed like every time she tried to put her trust in someone, they’d betray it.  And in the end, the one activity she cared about most in life was taken away from her too.

This movie really made me rethink the tabloid feeding frenzy this story created when it first came to light back in the nineties.  I’m, of course, talking about the attack on Nancy Kerrigan that was attributed to Tonya Harding and her associates.  The media coverage was treating the story as breaking news.  And, they characterized their actions as getting to the bottom of the story.  But, now their motives for bombarding us with the story 24/7 seem much more cynical.  People do love gossip.  And, scandals are profitable.  But, folks usually don’t stop to acknowledge the effect their chatter is having on the parties involved until much later.  That’s the dark side of our human nature.

This movie affected me emotionally.  I felt great sorrow for a girl who could have been helped to prominence, but instead was torn down to nothing.  And, I felt a kind of collective guilt for a society that relishes this kind of tawdry spectacle.  But, the movie is also tremendously enjoyable too.  Despite the tragedy, the movie really does have a lot of laughs.  And, the actors all portray their characters wonderfully.  The standout performances were from Margot Robbie as Tonya, and Allison Janney as her mother LaVona.  Janney really becomes a true villain.  And, that’s always fun to see.  I recommend this movie.  The story and performances are multi-dimensional, and it really has a lot to offer.

The Disaster Artist - Laugh Out Loud Fun

Movie: The Disaster Artist

My Rating: 5 stars

By now, most people are familiar with the dumpster fire that is The Room.  It’s Tommy Wiseau’s cinematic masterpiece about life, love, and betrayal.  Of course, it’s written by, directed by, and starring none other than Tommy Wiseau himself.  And, it’s a truly horrendous movie.  I once overheard someone in an elevator describe it as a “friendship ending movie.”  (I think one friend must have lent it to the other).  And, The Disaster Artist gives us a dramatic account of how a movie like The Room may have come into being.  I say “may have,” because any project like this comes with some degree of fictionalization.  But, the story is based on the actual accounts of many of the actors involved in the original project.  So, I think most of it is probably accurate. 

The Room has become a phenomenon in the same vein as something like Rocky Horror Picture Show.  People clamor to go see midnight screenings of the thing.  Of course, the major difference between the two is that Rocky Horror was always intended to be campy, but this film was meant to be serious cinema.  But, people just can’t get enough of this mess.  Especially since Wiseau refuses to acknowledge it as a flop.  It almost baffles the mind how a movie could turn out so badly.  You certainly couldn’t design something like it on purpose.  This kind of creation can only be accomplished through a one-hundred percent, good faith effort to make a serious film.  And, that’s why this retelling works so well and is so amusing.  

Now, a project this meta and self-referential may sound like a bit of a snooze to the uninitiated.  But, all you have to do to cure yourself of that misconception is actually watch the original film.  And, then you’ll be clamoring to hear the back story.  This movie is as enjoyable as it is cringeworthy.  It almost feels like a guilty pleasure.  It’s fun to have a laugh at poor Tommy’s expense, but at the same time you can’t help feeling really bad for the guy.  It kind of breaks my heart to see people with delusions of grandeur, who clearly have none of the tools necessary to accomplish their goals.  But, at least this movie does humanize Mr. Wiseau a bit.  In this story, he’s not only a punchline.  I mean, he’s still a bit of a punchline.  This movie is presented as comedy after all.  But, I think this story helps us empathize with the guy a little better.

Go see this movie.  It’s spectacular.  But, see The Room first.  Or, if you don’t have the patience to do that, at least go look up a “best clips” compilation on YouTube.  It’s necessary to have some understanding of that movie in order to get the full benefit of this one.  But, this movie is a really good time.  It’s the kind of thing that had the whole theater laughing out loud (when they weren’t squirming through the distressingly long and detailed sex scenes).  The cast is full of great comedians.  And, James and Dave Franco really kill it as Tommy and his leading man Greg.  Plus, it’s really fun just to see the two brothers playing off each other.  You may regret having to watch The Room, but you’ll love this movie.

The House - Adults Behaving Badly

Movie: The House

My Rating: 3 stars

I won’t say no to a Will Ferrell/Amy Poehler movie.  I think they’re both really funny, and their movies are usually a pretty safe bet.  They can usually drum up a big enough budget to work with.  And, they’ve got a lot of really funny friends that they can coerce into joining them.  And, this movie is pretty good.  It’s not great.  The idea is a little gimmicky, and the storytelling seems a bit rushed.  But, it’s not like I was expecting too much from their slapstick comedy style.  This is a story about a couple who has just realized that they won’t be able to pay for their daughter’s expensive, private college tuition.  So, they take the next natural step, and open up an illegal gambling den in their basement.  The plan is to fleece all the neighbors until they’ve raised the right amount, and then get out clean.  What could go wrong?

This is a very silly movie, and viewers are meant to revel in the absurdity of the whole thing.  And, in that sense, the movie succeeds.  Another success is all the acting.  I’m a really big fan of a lot of the comedians featured in the film—Jason Mantzoukas, Rory Scovel, Lennon Parham, Rob Huebel.  There’s tons of them.  And, they’re all performing in their element.  I’m a big fan of the “adults acting like spoiled children” brand of comedy, and that’s what most of these guys specialize in.  And they’re perfect for this story about family men and women who just want to let their hair down and behave very irresponsibly once in a while.  The comedy is quite crude, and immature, and very fun.  I seem to be using a lot of negative words in this review, and it’s making it sound like I didn’t care for the film.  But, I really did enjoy watching it.  It’s just not a serious movie, and it’s not meant to be considered with so much weight.

Everyone gets in the mood for a fluffy, goofy movie every now and then.  And, that’s exactly what films like this are for.  (Or if you want to scandalize grandma).  So, go ahead and see this movie if you feel like it, but I don’t think you’ll really be missing out on much if you decide not to.