Captain Fantastic - Wild Geniuses

Movie: Captain Fantastic

My Rating: 5 stars

What a great movie!  Somehow, I missed this one right when it came out.  But, a friend recommended it to me, saying that it was really good, so I decided to check it out.  And, the movie really is fun.  It’s funny, and sad, and awkward and amazing.  I’ve found that that’s often the mark of a great movie—when a script elicits many different, conflicting emotions.  I was expecting to like this movie, and that usually means I’m setting myself up for disappointment.  But this time, it far exceeded my expectations.

This is the story of a man (played by Viggo Mortensen) living out in the woods with his pack of six children.  They’re living completely off the grid, and dad is homeschooling his brood.  Naturally, their education is wildly unconventional.  It’s a combination of history, philosophy, advanced science, outdoorsmanship, and intense survival skills.  And, since he doesn’t have to teach at a pace that would be appropriate for a whole class, their curriculum is extremely accelerated.  These are amazing kids.  Their knowledge would put most adults to shame.  So, even though dad is almost certainly a little bit insane, the training clearly seems to be doing the kids some good.  But, things get sticky when they learn that their mother has died.  Dad and kids would like to go to her funeral, but the in-laws have they’ve made it clear that this pack of wildlings will not be welcome there.  It’s a comedy of errors (albeit a dark one) as these kids are introduced to American culture for the first time.

I’m not really doing this film justice.  The story is interesting enough, but the real magic comes from the crazy characters and the amazing acting.  Of course, Viggo Mortensen is great.  But, the whole pack of kids is also pretty special.  They’ve perfectly captured the type of wild, precocious, socially awkward geniuses that this sort of an upbringing would produce.  Each child has her own quirk, or his own bizarre personality.  I think it would be really interesting to be such a creature if it didn’t seem so annoying to be raised by such a strict, pedantic dad.

This is a great movie, and you should rent it.  You’ll be cheering for Viggo and his kids, even though they aren’t presented as perfect people.  There’s a lot of grey area in the script, and it’ll stir up some pretty complex emotions.  But, mostly the movir is sweet and funny and heartwarming in the weirdest way possible.

Arrival - Super Interesting

Movie: Arrival

My Rating: 4 stars

I was pretty impressed by this movie.  I’m usually a pretty big fan of science fiction.  And, the whole “first contact with an alien species” genre is usually pretty rich with potential.  That kind of a story usually stirs up all kinds of different emotions—excitement that there really is more out there in the universe, fear of the unknown, anxiety over earthly politics.  And, I think this movie did a really good job at dealing with those issues.  And, it seemed like a really realistic portrayal too.  The story starts with several enormous, alien spacecrafts having arrived to Earth.  They’ve installed themselves above various, seemingly random, world sites, and seem to be just hanging out, waiting for humans to figure out how to communicate with them.  They seem open to it, but neither side really knows where to start.  Enter Amy Adams, who plays a world-famous linguist.  With the help of a handful of other scientists, she’ll try to find out why these creatures are here, and what they want.

The interesting thing is that this movie almost sets aside the fact that aliens have just visited our world.  It treats that as a fact that everyone has already accepted.  Because, the humans seem way more interested in political games than they are with the fact that there is intelligent life elsewhere in the universe.  Our governments are stressing out about what China or Russia are doing, when they should really be more concerned that an advanced, intelligent, alien species has managed to make it all the way to our world.  Humans in this story are pretty lucky that the visitors seem to be only interested in peaceful goals, because otherwise, humanity would be screwed.  In this narrative, it’s almost a race to see which group of humans will break the code first.  The various governments start off cooperating, but as the stress of not making any headway rises, they lose confidence in each other, and start cutting off all communication.  So, the countdown for the American group has begun.  They need to start meaningfully communicating with their visitor before other countries do something rash, like nuke the visiting ships.

I liked this movie a lot.  I liked the realistic political issues that a fanciful science fiction scenario like this would raise.  I liked the puzzle posed by the idea of trying to communicate and share information with beings that share no common experience at all.  I wouldn’t have the first idea of how to begin that process.  I hope that real linguists have some idea of how to go about that.  But, the fact that we still haven’t decoded a couple of the ancient human alphabets that we’ve uncovered doesn’t give me much hope.  I highly recommend this movie.  Don’t go into it expecting an exciting action flick.  It’s more of a science movie than a “kicking alien butt” movie.  But, I really enjoyed that about this story.  And, if you’re in the mood for something this pace, then you will too.

Victor Frankenstein - Watch It for the Acting

Movie: Victor Frankenstein

My Rating: 3 stars

I didn’t rent this movie for the story.  I’m pretty much bored to tears by the story of Dr. Frankenstein and his monster at this point.  And, I was never very impressed with the novel to begin with.  But, I’ll never say no to the opportunity to watch James McAvoy, and to a lesser extent, Daniel Radcliffe, doing their acting thing.  Radcliffe is darling, and I usually enjoy just about every role he plays.  But, I really love James McAvoy.  He’s so charismatic that he makes every character he plays just fascinating.  And, he’s really on fire in this movie, playing the half-insane Dr. Frankenstein.  I can’t get enough of a good crazed-eyed, open mouthed laugh.

This movie gives us the classic Frankenstein story, but told from the point of view of the doctor and his assistant Igor, rather than the monster.  This version doesn’t track the experiences of a freshly resurrected creature, with all his confusion and terror.  Instead, this story attempts to examine why a person (Frankenstein) would be motivated to create life out of spare (or stolen) body parts, and then why anyone (Igor) would ever agree to help him build this unholy creation.  And, I think the writers stumbled upon a pretty convincing theory in combining the doctor’s genuine desire to make a medical breakthrough, and his magnetic charisma.  Add in a healthy dose of moral obligation for being rescued from dire circumstances, and poor, little Igor didn’t stand a chance of avoiding entanglement.

This movie is alright.  The story is nothing too new or exciting.  It really doesn’t cover much new ground at all.  But, the acting is pretty great.  Daniel Radcliffe plays a delightfully baffled ingénue.  And James McAvoy is an infinitely charming madman.  Of course, there’s a love interest thrown into the mix for good measure, but it’s hardly necessary to the story.  Go ahead and see this movie if you’ve got tons of time on your hands and no good ideas of how to fill it.  But, I don’t think you really need to go out of your way to track this movie down.  Do make the effort, however, if like me, you have a bit of a thing for James McAvoy.  He is effervescent in this role.

Moana - A Solid Offering

Movie: Moana

My Rating: 4 stars

I enjoyed this movie, even with how simple and formulaic it is.  Perhaps it was the catchy music.  Or, maybe it was fun to see a culture other than Western Europe’s being explored in a fairy tale.  But possibly, I just have a soft spot in my heart for Disney movies in all their cheesy, predictable glory.  I guess it’s a nostalgia thing.  Because, even though a big deal was made over this being a new, diverse direction for the studio to go in, it’s still firmly entrenched in the Disney Princess franchise, with all its rules, formulae, and aesthetics. 

Moana is a smart, brave, Hawaiian princess, and it’s up to her (and a quirky animal sidekick) to go on an adventure that will save her kingdom.  There isn’t much new material here.  We’re all familiar with the bones of this story.  Just the details are different.  But, it’s a popular formula.  And, princess merchandise is profitable.  So, Disney is probably going to keep cranking these princess movies out for as long as fussy little girls have the strength and will to demand hot, unbreathable, polyester knockoffs of their iconic gowns.  I can’t say that I would have been any different from these demanding, little lasses, had these dresses been for sale when I was little.  So, I find the whole spectacle to be very amusing and relatable.  But, I digress.  This movie is a heartwarming tale of a very brave girl who must balance her personal desires for freedom with the role that’s expected of her as the heir to her nation’s throne.  It’s a hard choice to make.  But, as disaster threatens her island nation, her role becomes clearer.

This is a very cute, very standard Disney story featuring female empowerment and self-actualization.  But, it’s a more modern version.  Moana doesn’t have to prove to anyone in the story that she’s just as good as a boy.  That’s the kind of thing that we would have seen in a movie from ten years ago.  In fact, her gender is never an issue at all, nor is it even really mentioned.  And, I found that to be very refreshing and way more inspirational than those older tales of “empowerment”.  We just get to enjoy a very capable protagonist learning, growing, and accomplishing very exciting feats.  And, of course there’s a little bit of magic to help her on her journey.  I wouldn’t have gone out of my way to see this one if I weren’t already into Disney movies.  But, it’s one of the better examples in the genre that I’ve seen.  So, go ahead and watch this one if you’re in the mood for something heartwarming and unchallenging.

I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK - Love and Mental Illness

Movie: I’m a Cyborg, But That’s Ok

My Rating: 4 stars

Now, here’s a slightly older film from Park Chan-wook.  Not quite as old as his Vengeance Trilogy, but I’d overlooked it for quite a while.  I’m a big fan of Park’s films.  He’s a great storyteller.  And, this one is just as quirky and strange as any of his other films.  Although, this one isn’t quite as dark as his typical fare.  Of course, it’d be impossible for Park Chan-wook to make a movie without any darkness at all.  But this one—a romantic comedy set in a mental hospital—is about as light and frothy as we’re likely to get from him.

Cha Young-goon is a mentally ill girl from a family with a history of schizophrenia.  She hears voices, and sees visions.  But, the real issue is her recent epiphany that she’s really a cyborg who has only been living the life of a normal girl.  And, after one little incident at work where she opens her arm, shoves some wire inside, and then tries to plug herself into the wall, Young-goon is quickly sent packing to a residential mental facility.  There, staff can keep an eye on her “suicidal” tendencies.  But, the staff don’t understand.  Young-goon isn’t trying to kill herself.  She needs to lick batteries and stick her fingers in sockets to “recharge” herself.  She is a robot after all.  And, she isn’t anorexic.  If she were to eat people food, she’d just gum up her internal machinery and break.  Of course, the facility is full of all kinds of other inmates, each with his own personal problems.  And, the staff don’t seem to be particularly dedicated to getting to the bottom of their delusions.  So, the patients are pretty much left to rile each other up and stew in their fantasies.  But, some of the inmates are interested in helping each other.  And, one (attractive male) inmate in particular has taken it upon himself to help out Young-goon.

Based on the description, this movie could be one of many things.  It could be a cheesy feel-good movie.  It could be a psychological horror.  But Park Chan-wook has decided to take this movie in the direction of a dark comedy.  He isn’t necessarily making fun of mental illness.  But, he’s definitely using it as a tool to shed light on all humans’ humorous weaknesses.  I enjoyed this movie a lot, and I wasn’t really expecting to.  I’ll admit that I had forgotten that it was directed by Park until I got the disk and looked at it.  And, at that point my hopes for it improved.  Of course, this isn’t one his best films.  Park Chan-wook really works best when you give him a big drama and a lot of space to spread out.  But for what it is, this silly little romantic comedy is quite delightful.

Gold Diggers of 1933 - Some Racy Fun

Movie: Gold Diggers of 1933

My Rating: 4 stars

I’ve recently discovered that I love these movies from the 1930s.  I’ve mentioned it before, but I was always under the impression that all these old movies would be stuffy and wholesome.  But, it turns out the 1930s were pretty swingin’.  Story lines are raucous and sexy, characters are uninhibited, jokes are pretty cutting.  Oh, and the fashions are amazing.  I want all the clothes in these movies.  I was actually turned on to this movie by a couple podcasters I listen to.  They have great taste, so I can always trust their reviews.  It’s important to pay attention to critics with whom you share sensibilities.

This movie’s title pretty much explains everything.  A group of down-on-their-luck showgirls have had enough of the economic depression.  They’re tired of stealing their neighbors’ food, tired of sharing outfits and beds, tired of pawning off their possessions, and especially tired of unemployment.  So, they’ve decided to take matters into their own hands.  Our ladies are plotting with a big producer to drum up enough money to put on a huge show.  It has to be glitzy and glamorous to draw in the crowds.  So, these girls put on their sexiest dresses and head out to the night clubs to fleece some high rollers. 

This is a very irreverent comedy.  I would almost even call it a sex comedy, because a lot of the hijinks come in the form of luring men into compromising positions and shaking them down for cash.  But, these girls aren’t the bad guys.  The viewers are definitely meant to side with them as they con these pompous, old guys with their old-fashioned social rules and morals.  Those gentlemen could definitely stand to have their sensibilities shaken up a bit by these “scandalous” women.  And, they definitely do.

I loved this movie.  It is so fun, and wild.  And, like I mentioned before, it’s way more risqué than I was expecting it to be.  We actually get to see the big show these girls have been raising money to put on, and it’s everything you could hope for.  Glitz, glam, some remarkably racy themes.  Plus, if you’ve never seen one of these movies about big musical shows, you’ll be astonished by just how over-the-top they are.  It’s good stuff.  I’d say, definitely watch this one.  If you’re worried that you’ll be bored by it, don’t be.  That was my fear too, and I was thoroughly entertained.

Swiss Army Man - Descent Into Madness

Movie: Swiss Army Man

My Rating: 2 stars

What a strange movie.  I really didn’t care for it.  I don’t think it’s because I didn’t understand the movie.  The story is crude, sexually awkward, illogical, disjointed and makes no kind of sense.  But, I’m aware that these elements are meant to recreate the chaos inside one man’s broken psyche as he sinks slowly into madness.  And, I think that attempt is largely successful.  But, it’s understandable to say that it isn’t pleasant to experience that insanity first hand. 

I think we were all introduced to this movie as the “farting corpse” movie.  Or the “Daniel Radcliffe is a farting dead guy” movie.  And yes, Daniel Radcliffe does play a dead man.  And, a lot of his on-screen time is dedicated to humiliating acts such as passing gas, getting a boner, or barfing up fluids.  That poor guy pretty much endures all the most embarrassing bodily functions that a human can experience, and it’s all on screen.  And somehow, for the story’s purpose, each one of these visceral eliminations provides an essential survival tool for Paul Dano, who plays a living man who is stranded on a desert island.  This dead body provides him with water, transportation, navigation tools, useful advice about dating women—all the essentials.  It is so weird.  I don’t know if I have much more to say about the movie other than you’d have to watch it for yourself to understand just how senseless it is.

I didn’t like this movie and I don’t recommend it.  Of course, that might just pique your interest even more.  If that’s the case, go right ahead and experience it for yourself.  That’s pretty much how I experience films.  I’m warned away from bad ones, but I still can’t resist.  But, my investigation this time led me to a bizarre, embarrassing movie about social awkwardness at best, and insanity at the worst.  Of course, there’s the novelty factor of watching Daniel Radcliffe performing a pretty convincing American accent (and humiliating himself publically).  That’s some good fun.  But, the rest just wasn’t interesting enough to make up for the strangeness.  Skip it.

Ghost in the Shell (2017) - A Worthwhile Remake

Movie: Ghost in the Shell (2017)

My Rating: 4 stars

I don’t know why people considered this movie to be such a bomb.  I guess it didn’t do nearly as well at the box office as was anticipated, but it’s not a bad movie.  In fact, I thought it did a pretty good job of sticking to a lot of the imagery and sensibility of the source material, while adding just enough differences to the plot to keep it interesting.  But people are famously hard to please.  And, I’m guessing the movie did poorly because not enough of the mainstream audience was familiar enough with the source anime to care about this live action remake.  And, perhaps some of the diehard fans didn’t want to support this American bastardization of their beloved franchise.

I’ll go on the record as saying that I liked this movie a lot.  I’m very familiar with the original Ghost in the Shell anime series, and I think the filmmakers did an excellent job reaching out to the old fans.  I’m one of them, and I always thought that the show and movies dealt with such interesting ideas, and did it so stylishly.  It’s one of our greatest pleasures as humans to imagine what kind of wonders the future of technology may hold.  And we’ve always been obsessed with making ourselves stronger, more beautiful, and longer lived.  I think the original creator of the series was remarkably prescient with his predictions about where the future of the internet and medicine might be headed.  And much of the visual imagery is just as creepy and unsettling as it is exciting.  Fans of the anime will recognize many exact images from the show—some of the most visually iconic scenes, character design, silhouettes of the skyline and aircrafts.  I was always a little creeped out by the rogue geisha-bots that were running amok in the animated series.  And in this movie, the art team turned them into sinister terrors that will haunt my nightmares forever.  That kind of uncanny valley material always unsettled me more than anything else.  Even as a child, I refused to let anyone bring their baby-dolls or Barbies near me.

Of course, this movie also made the news for what I think was a rather misguided accusation of racism.  People are claiming that this movie is yet another example of Hollywood whitewashing an Asian character.  I’m not saying that that isn’t a problem that exists.  It certainly does.  But, I think that anyone familiar with the story in Ghost in the Shell would understand that it doesn’t apply in this instance.  The protagonist in this story, whether it be Scarlett Johansson in this live action version or the animated character, isn’t a human, Japanese lady.  She’s a robot.  Yes, she started off as a Japanese lady whose mind was placed into a new robot shell.  But that body was always portrayed as a sexy, ethnically ambiguous creature, that was designed to be a tactical, killing machine.  And, this movie even specifically addresses that issue in a pretty satisfying way.  I think this is a case of people getting prematurely excited about skewering yet another big budget film for racism.  I know, it’s fun to act morally superior—especially when dealing with a target as easy as the American movie studio system.  But, I think if some of those critics actually watched the movie, they’d understand that their complaints are unfounded in this case.

I liked this movie, and I think people should see it.  And, this is coming from a person who was expecting to be disappointed.  I saw the 3D version in the theater, and I think this movie really is big and exciting enough to benefit from the 3D IMAX treatment.  But, you’ll probably enjoy it no matter how you view it.  The acting was pretty good.  I’m not typically a big Scarlett Johansson fan, but I think she did an admirable job in this role.  And you can always count on Beat Takeshi to deliver a solid performance as a cranky, yet tough, old coot.  But really, it’s the imagery and aesthetics that made this movie for me.  You’ll be blown away by the visuals.  So gorgeous!  And, so terrifying.  I accept that this is a pretty controversial remake.  So, I’d be interested in hearing back from other fans of the series.

Hell or High Water - A Modern Western

Movie: Hell or High Water

My Rating: 4 stars

I liked this movie a lot more than I was expecting too.  I don’t typically go in for Westerns.  And, while this movie was billed as a “modern” Western, I wasn’t entirely sure what that would mean in terms of adhering to, or departing from the classic tropes.  I guess I never really liked Westerns because the stakes never made much sense to me.  I’ve never been a craggy, old, lone-wolf, with nothing left to lose.  I’ve never been at a place in my life where it made more sense for me to sacrifice myself for the sake of making one last demonstration of honor.  Maybe it’s a guy thing.  Maybe it’s an old person thing.  Maybe it’s the kind of thing that only a chronically depressed person fantasizes about—becoming a legend as a martyr.  But, I’ve never really identified very much with that kind of character.

If you use these few items that I’ve listed as your criteria for what makes a classic Western film, then this movie really fits the bill.  A couple of brothers (Chris Pine and Ben Foster) are following a grueling schedule of robbing small credit unions all across Texas with the hopes of raising enough money to save Pine’s house from foreclosure.  But, what makes him your classic Western martyr is that this is now his ex-wife’s house.  He won’t directly benefit from saving the home.  But, he views himself as a bad person.  And, he’s of the opinion that no matter what happens to him, he can redeem himself by providing this last bit of security for his family.  So, while the setting and even a bit of the humor feel pretty modern, this is unquestionably a classic Western formula.

I enjoyed this movie a lot.  It isn’t the kind of thing I would have selected on my own, but I’d heard so many good opinions of it that I decided to give it a chance.  And, I’m glad I did.  The movie is simple, and streamlined, and tells a small-scale story in a very elegant way.  The acting is great, and the cinematography is pretty stunning.  I don’t think it was enough to make me want to go out and start checking out other Western movies, but I wasn’t disappointed that I’d taken the advice to watch this one.  I’d say, definitely rent this movie if you run across it.

Barbarella - Campy Fun

Movie: Barbarella

My Rating: 4 stars

This movie is a hoot!  But then, I think it was always intended to be just as ridiculous as I understood it to be.  As much as I love watching movies that are unintentionally hilarious, it’s also fun to see directors having a great time making purposefully and unapologetically comedic movies.  And, this movie is undoubtedly one of those.  I’d been aware of this movie for quite a while.  But, it was only after a recent prompting from my cousin that I decided to finally check it out for myself.  Or course, we’re all probably familiar with the concept of this classic exploitation film.  Or if not, we’ve at least all seen the images of Jane Fonda romping around in sexy furs or tiny jumpsuits with that gloriously teased-up, 70s style hairdo.  They’re iconic pictures. 

Jane Fonda plays Barbarella, a sexy space ranger of some sort.  She’s entrusted with the task of tracking down an evil scientist and neutralizing the risk he’s posing to the universe’s peace.  And, the campy tone is set immediately when we meet Barbarella writhing naked in zero gravity in the very first scene.  When she finally gets around to putting some clothes on, it’s of the futuristic, clear, molded plastic variety.  She’s been enjoying the peaceful silence and freedom of space, but duty ultimately calls her into the world of other people.  And naturally, the sexy romps begin as soon she begins to encounter other individuals in all the strange, new worlds she visits.  Characters are hilariously beautiful and virile, and scenarios are almost farcically erotic.  It’ll crack you up.  While I don’t think that sci-fi and sex comedies are traditionally the most compatible genres, this one seems to work.  But then, I guess the “science fiction” element in this film is pretty much limited to the outfits . . . and the fact that space is mentioned.

This is a very fun movie.  It’s definitely worth checking out sometime.  It’s silly and stupid, and you’ll have a fun time trying to guess what crazy outfit Jane Fonda is going to put on next.  And, I really think the movie is more about the comedy than the titillation factor.  It’s still probably not a movie you’d want to watch in mixed company.  You wouldn’t want your Nana to think you’re some kind of sex pervert, would you?    But, it’d be appropriate for a more lighthearted crowd.

Kedi - The Charming Cats of Istanbul

Movie: Kedi

My Rating: 5 stars

This movie was made for the inner cat-lady in us all—the one that is parasitically burrowing its way into our brains.  The film is about the feisty and independent street cats of Istanbul, as well as the half-sane residents of the city who are so captivated by their charms.  I had the pleasure of visiting Istanbul a few years ago, and I can attest first-hand, that the city is crawling with unclaimed, yet very friendly cats.  And while they do live in the wild, they’re not quite feral.  These little beasts are very tame, and they love to receive belly rubs and head scritches.  I may even have a whole photo library of me petting the cats of Istanbul.  May favorite cat was the one who jumped into my lap as I was eating at an outdoor café, and just went to sleep there for the duration of my meal.  So, this movie was pretty much made for me.

This really is a delightful film.  Of course, this movie isn’t for you if you’re the kind of curmudgeon who hates all felines.  But, if you’ve ever had a cat in your life that you’ve liked, it safe to say that you’ll enjoy this movie.  The cats really are the stars of this film.  The movie focuses its attention on about five or six specific felines, and the cameras do a pretty good job of following them through the city as they make their regular rounds.  Fish market at 6am, go eat breakfast with his morning family, lunch at the farmer’s market, an afternoon snack and some head scratches with the nice old lady who lives on the square, beg for scraps from the street café, then dinner back with the nice shopkeeper who lets him sleep in her storeroom.  These cats have full schedules.  And, they tend to stick to a pretty regular routine.  All in all, the residents of Istanbul love these little creatures, and go out of their way to help them and feed them.  Of course, the most devoted helpers are almost certainly a little bit insane.  Or, they have toxoplasmosis.  Or, they’re trying desperately to fill some kind of emotional void in their psyches.  But, it’s not so much that I worry about them.  These cats are loveable, and they’re a totally acceptable vessel for any directionless affection.

I was very charmed by this movie.  I saw it in the theater, and everyone at the screening was cooing and gasping at how darling these little beasts were.  I love cats, and the cats in this film are really catting it up in a very satisfactory fashion.  They’re remarkable adventurous and acrobatic.  And, the markets and terraces of Istanbul really do provide these cats with their own, dedicated highways.  The handful of cats that were selected for this film each has its own, distinct personality, and you’ll have a hard time not anthropomorphizing them.  I highly recommend this movie.  It’s simple and short, and doesn’t follow any kind of narrative.  It’s just the kind of satisfying, slice-of-life documentary that’ll leave you in a good mood for the rest of the day.

American Honey - Depressing, But Fun

Movie: American Honey

My Rating: 3 stars

This movie is an odd creature.  It’s the kind of thing that kept me thinking about it long after I was done watching it, but I still wasn’t quite sure whether you liked it or not.  This movie came to me highly recommended.  But, I can’t say it turned out to be exactly what I was expecting.  It didn’t look like something I’d be into.  I’m a bit tired of these coming-of-age movies about young adults, hitting the road to find themselves.  Maybe I’ll come back around to them at some point, but for now, I find them to be both uncomfortable and wildly boring.  Accordingly, I really wasn’t planning on seeing this movie at all until I heard a glowing review from someone whose taste I trust.  So, I decided to give it a go.

The story is about a young woman, Star (played by Sasha Lane), who is attempting to escape from her miserable life by impulsively accepting a job with a group of travelling youths, selling magazines.  It’s definitely one of those scams we’ve all heard about—employers praying on at-risk youths to fill out the ranks of their salesforce.  These companies pay their salesmen almost nothing, but they drive these kids all over the country so that they can’t really leave the job unless they want to risk being stranded in a strange corner of the country.  But, Star is desperate to escape her situation.  That, and she’s lured into the job by the promise of romance with the rakish Jake, played by Shia LeBeouf.  For some reason, lots of people can’t stand LeBeouf, saying he’s a whiny, little goober.  But, I’ve never had a problem with him.  Who else is gonna play these whiny goober roles?  He was made for them.  And, he’s perfect in this role as an unctuous, sleezeball.  Plus, he kinda looks like my brother, and I have a soft spot in my heart for actors who resemble family members.  And, Shia and Sasha Lane really do have a lot of on-screen chemistry.

This movie still turned out to be a little bit of the “finding oneself, road movie” that I thought it might be.  So, I think the recommendation I received was a little bit inflated.  But, it was still a lot better than most of the other movies in this genre.  The characters are pretty compelling.  And, while there isn’t much of a story, the mood that this movie creates is exhilarating.  There’s a certain kind of energy you pick up from riding along in a van with a bunch of drunk, horny, twenty-year-old kids listening to really fun hip hop music.  The soundtrack is so much fun.  It’s worth the experience.  So, I do recommend that you see this movie.  It’s not a priority.  It’s one of those films that I’d want you to get around to eventually.  It’ll give you a lot to think about.

The Handmaiden - You Have to See This

Movie: The Handmaiden

My Rating: 5 stars

Wow!  I was not expecting this movie to be quite as amazing as it was.  Actually, I found myself dreading sitting down with what I was sure was going to be a stuffy, three-hour long, period drama.  And, it is a three-hour long, period drama.  And it does start off seeming as if it’s going to be one of those polite affairs.  But, it quickly morphs into a crazy, erotic thriller with so many twists and turns that it’s impossible to guess what’s going to happen next. 

This isn’t the kind of movie I can really tell you much about.  The plot involves enough of a mystery element that you really wouldn’t want it ruined for you before you sit down to watch it.  So, I’ll just give you the log line.  A country girl goes to live at the estate of a wealthy foreigner to serve as the chamber maid to the lady of the house.  And, then things get weird.  Her plan is to swindle this rich lady, but strange things appear to be going on at the house.  Plus, our little country girl begins to develop a bit of a crush on her mark.  I’ll admit, it all sounds a little bit overwrought. But, believe me when I tell you that the story gets more and more intriguing the longer you watch.

In retrospect, I shouldn’t have worried about this movie at all.  It’s directed by Park Chan-wook.  You know—the director of Oldboy, the two other “Vengeance” movies, Stoker—amazing films.  So, there really wasn’t much risk of this one being a dud.  But, I saw those characters lined up in the promo photo, with their old-timey outfits, and those stern expressions on their faces, and I got worried.  But no, this is a crazy, spicy, mystery-thriller.  So, this is definitely not the kind of movie you’d want to sit down and watch with your in-laws.  Things get seriously erotic pretty quickly.  You know how if you’re watching a perfectly respectable movie with even one love scene in it, you’re practically guaranteed to have your grandmother walk in the room right as things start to get serious?  Well, that sure happened to me.  Now I really want everyone to watch this movie just so you can see the sex scene, register everything that’s happening, then imagine me getting caught in the act of sitting alone in my living room watching it.  At that point, you really just have to lean into the shame of it all.

See this movie.  Yes, it’s intense.  Yes, it might be a bit embarrassing to watch with other people.  Yes, it involves some pretty grisly mangling.  It wouldn’t be a Park Chan-wook film if there wasn’t at least one scene that made you flinch away from the screen.  But, it’s worth it.  I watched this movie twice in a row, simply because I thought it was so great that I wanted to show it to other people right away.  So, run right out and rent this movie before anyone gets the chance to ruin it for you.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice - We All Know It's Bad, Right?

Movie: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

My Rating: 2 stars

I don’t really have much to say about this movie.  And, that’s because I had a pretty hard time following what was going on.  The pacing is so strange.  I think the filmmakers must have been trying to cram a lot of material into this thing, and they just ran out of space.  So, nothing that happens in this story is ever entirely explained.  Characters enter the story unintroduced.  The same goes for key plot points.  And, the audience is supposed to somehow understand everything.  It’s a very vexing movie.  But then you already knew that.  This is one of those movies that has been so universally panned that everyone went into this thing expecting a stinker.

I guess my chief complaint is that for a movie that’s titled “Batman v Superman” there is very little actual conflict between Batman and Superman.  Superman is spending most of his time trying really hard to save the world (although humans just can’t seem to stop finding new ways to endanger themselves).  And, Batman reads about it all on the internet and steams.  I’m not entirely sure why.  Frankly, it seems like a bit of a one-sided rivalry.  For someone who loves meting out vigilante justice, Batman sure does hate it when others engage in the same behavior.  Batman also spends a good amount of time online, creepily checking out surveillance videos of Wonder Woman too, but that’s beside the point.  Her character isn’t ever developed, and it’s not entirely clear why she’s in this story at all (unless she’s launching a new line of rockin’ evening gowns—yowza!).  But, back to the point.  Even when Batman and Superman finally come face to face, they don’t really fight very much.  They wrestle around an abandoned lot for about three minutes before they brush themselves off, shakes hands, and agree that they really are better off being friends.  It’s super dumb.

It’ll come as no surprise that I do not recommend this movie.  I don’t have anything against superhero movies or anything.  I get around to watching most of them eventually.  It’s just that this particular one is poorly conceived.  I supposed there are a few things to enjoy about the film.  I’ve already mentioned Wonder Woman’s covetable wardrobe.  And, Jesse Eisenberg does a great job of portraying the sociopathic, criminal genius, Lex Luthor.  That guy is weird and twitchy, and that’s just what this character called for.  However, there weren’t enough interesting things to salvage this movie for me.  Be warned.

Love and Mercy - Don't Be Tempted

Movie: Love and Mercy

My Rating: 1 star

Ugh!  Watching this movie was torture.  I don’t know how someone could manage to make a movie about the Beach Boys so painfully dull, but somehow this filmmaking team has managed it.  Brian Wilson’s life was nothing if not eventful—young stardom, abusive dad, descent into madness.  There’s plenty of material there to weave into a compelling story.  But these filmmakers somehow turned it into a monotonous slog. 

The best thing that I can say about this movie is that I learned something I didn’t know before.  I already knew that Brian Wilson had a pretty rough life—that he dealt with some pretty serious mental illness, and that his father was an absolute demon.  But, I never knew the part about how later as an adult, his manager was taking advantage of him by keeping him in a constant drugged stupor.  That’s some pretty dark stuff, even considering what Wilson had already dealt with in his life.  It’s just a shame that this movie was so painful to watch.

I suppose this was supposed to be a prestige piece—a hard-hitting examination of abuse and mental illness (for your consideration for best screenplay of the year, I’m assuming).  But, I think this was a misfire.  It’s just that nothing ever happens.  We see young Brian playing music.  We see old Brian in a drugged stupor in a car dealership.  We see young Brian recording a music video.  We see old Brian in a drugged stupor at the beach.  We see young Brian composing a familiar song.  We see old Brian in a drugged stupor in his apartment.  It’s very tedious, and the movie felt like it was a thousand hours long.  This was another situation where I found myself yelling at the TV, demanding to know why it was doing this to me.  I guess on the bright side, we get to see Elizabeth Banks wearing some pretty spectacular 80s sweaters and dresses.  She’s got shoulder pads for days.  And, so much brass hardware!

I did not enjoy this movie.  I don’t recommend it.  But, this isn’t just casual advice, letting you know about a potentially artsy, slower-moving movie.  This is a serious warning.  Do not watch it.  The odds are good that you will not like it.  You guys are good people.  I wouldn’t want you to have to suffer as I have.

The Neon Demon - Dark and Artsy

Movie: The Neon Demon

My Rating: 3 stars

I really don’t know quite what to make of this movie, or what I should rate it.  It’s a very odd specimen.  And, while I didn’t necessarily find the film to be very enjoyable, it was certainly very interesting.  It’s another film directed by Nicolas Winding Refn, and like all his other works, it’s a masterful exploration of mood and style.  And, the overall tone of that mood is very dark and unsettling.  This movie is essentially the artsiest, most stylish horror film you’ll have the pleasure of experiencing.  It creates that knot of dread deep in your stomach in the very first scene, and never lets up even for a minute.

The story is set in the cut-throat world of professional modeling.  Jessie (Elle Fanning) is sixteen years old and alone in the world.  She’s just arrived in Los Angeles where she hopes to be a model.  But everything feels a bit scary.  This is an industry that values extreme youth and otherworldly beauty.  Similar to driving a new car off the lot, the value of the product starts plummeting with every minute that ticks away.  So, for these fashion models who have based their entire sense of self-worth on their beauty and desirability, once they start approaching their expiration date—the ripe, old age of twenty-one years—a certain pervasive sense of desperation sets in.  But, casting agents can sniff out desperation from a mile away, and that only decreases these girls’ value even more. 

Being a professional model looks like a miserable existence.  And, it creates a certain predatory competitiveness amongst the girls who are trying to “make it.”  It’s an industry where you can’t trust anyone—especially if you’re fresh of the bus from Akron, Ohio.  Agents see dollar signs.  Photographers and designers see sex.  Girls who are trying to be friends are only testing newcomers for weakness.  And, little Jessie is so new and inexperienced that everyone in Los Angeles immediately identifies her as a mark.  As a viewer, I found myself practically yelling at this girl, “Get out of there!  Don’t trust her!!”

This is a pretty interesting movie.  I’d recommend watching it.  But, doing go into it expecting to be lightly entertained.  This is a very dark, unsettling, and sexually charged movie.  The pace is slow and deliberate.  And, there isn’t really a defined narrative arc.  Our protagonist is very unsure and disoriented, and her follow her as she feels out this new world.  But, you’ll absolutely love the cinematography and imagery if you go into this movie expecting an art film.  Just don’t watch this movie with anyone too sensitive or impatient.

The Thin Man - An Unexpected Favorite

Movie: The Thin Man

My Rating: 5 stars

I loved this movie!  And, I had absolutely no expectations that I would.  Of course, I’m aware of a category of “classic,” old films that people universally agree are “excellent.”  But, I always imagine that these people mean “excellent” in a boring, old-timey, cinematically historical way.  You know how film students can be.  I feel the same way about celebrity chefs who rave about “delicious,” obscure dishes, like a braised, Sicilian, half sheep’s head.  I don’t have patience anymore for that kind of one-upmanship.  Accordingly, I never really expect to actually enjoy these classic films going into them.  It feels like homework.  But, this movie is amazing!  The dialogue is witty, ironic, hilarious, and even a little sexy.  This movie was made in the early 30s, but the sensibility feels completely modern.

This film is, of course, about Nick and Nora Charles—two wealthy, married boozehounds, who are out to carouse and have a good time in fancy hotels, but who find themselves accidentally solving crimes while they’re at it.  These two just want to throw parties and sip gin, but dead bodies keep turning up!  What’s a pair of wealthy lovebirds to do?  So, these kids just have to solve the mysteries so that they can get back to their martinis.  So exasperating!  Nick and Nora are played by William Powell and Myrna Loy, and they really do have remarkable chemistry on screen.  The relationship feels so natural that audiences just assumed they were married in real life.  And, they really do feel like a married couple who’ve been together long enough to be totally comfortable with each other and have their own in-jokes, but whose relationship is fresh enough that they’re still really interested in each other.  And, the fact that they’re sassy, smart-talking, drunken jokesters only adds to their charm.  It’s great!

I can’t recommend this movie highly enough.  It really is hilariously funny.  And, I’m not saying funny for an old-fashioned movie.  The humor completely works today.  Of course, you’ll have to be prepared to listen very closely to the dialogue.  Characters speak very quickly, and the banter doesn’t stop for a minute.  So, if you’re not paying very close attention you’ll miss a lot of the jokes, clues, and key plot points.  It’s not the kind of movie that you can have playing in the background while you’re doing something else.  But, the movie is so engaging and funny that I don’t think you’ll be tempted to.  I immediately added the rest of the movies in the series to my Netflix queue.  This is definitely a series worth dusting off and enjoying.

Smokey and the Bandit - A Fun Classic

Movie: Smokey and the Bandit

My Rating: 3 stars

Now this is a fun, old movie.  It’s a classic that everyone seems to have fond memories of.  The movie doesn’t have the most innovative plot.  It your classic, “good, ol’ southern boys driving fast and evading the law” type of movie.  That’s pretty much the extent of the story.  In this one “Bandit” has taken a bet to drive a semi-truck full of illegal beer across state lines in a ludicrously short amount of time.  And, there’s a lot of money at stake.  Bandit is making pretty good time, but along the way, he picks up a runaway bride, and that complicates things a bit.  Not only does he have to keep the illegal alcohol under the radar.  But, now he also has to stay ahead of the jilted groom who’s determined to get his girl back. 

These southern car movies are a dime a dozen.  But, sets this one apart is that it stars Burt Reynolds and Sally Field when they were sexy young things.  And, these two really do have a lot of chemistry.  There’s not really much to this movie.  Just a lot of fast driving in an old, American, muscle car, and the silly antics of a comically stupid and angry sheriff.  But, I don’t think you’d choose this movie just for the story.  You’d pick this movie in order to see these cute young things giggling, and flirting with each other, and generally having a sexy, outlaw romp.

This is a pretty fun movie.  It’s definitely worth renting even if just to experience the chaos that was the American South in the 1970s in the safety of your own home.  But really, choose this movie because it really captures Burt Reynolds and Sally Field when they were in their prime.  It’ll remind you why they became stars.  And, that’s a really fun thing to do for people like me who were too young to know about these movies first-hand, when they first came out.

The Invitation - Genuinely Terrifying

Movie: The Invitation

My Rating: 3 stars

The Netflix recommendation algorithm had been trying to push this movie on me for quite a while before I decided to sit down and watch it.  It’s probably because this movie is a combination of two different genres that I like and watch a lot of—horror and psychological thriller.  Normally I resent people (or machines) trying to tell me what to do.  I’m a little stubborn that way.  But, I decided to take a chance on this one, and I ended up liking this movie quite a bit. 

This is another closed-room thriller.  (I guess I didn’t get enough of it watching Sleuth).  All the action takes place in the living room and dining room in the home of a very strange L.A. couple—Eden and David.  They’re hosting a dinner party for a group of friends that they’d cut themselves off from for years following a family tragedy.  So, while everyone is eager to get back in touch with their estranged friends, tensions are running pretty high.  Especially since David and Eden seem emotionally unstable and pilled out of their minds.  And, extra especially since one of the guests is Eden’s ex-husband, Will. 

This dinner party is very awkward.  No one can seem to find the right thing to say.  It’s exactly the kind of obligation dinner that everyone dreads.  But, things quickly start to feel a little more sinister.  The force with which the hosts keep pushing more booze on the guests starts to feel a little aggressive.  This is the kind of movie that amps up the anxiety and keeps the audience guessing about everyone’s motives and sanity as the story unfolds.  It’s the kind of film that’ll make you feel like you’re holding your breath the whole time.  It does a very good job of making the audience feel very unsafe, even though on the surface, this appears to be a delightful, lavish dinner party.

I do recommend this movie.  The narrative isn’t going to throw any wild curveballs at you.  But, it does an amazing job at creating a very unsettling mood.  I think it definitely deserves to be called both horror and psychological thriller.  And, it’s definitely worth watching this one if you’re in the mood for something a little ominous or creepy.  So, maybe it is worth trusting the robots every now and then.

Sleuth (2007) - A Bit Forced

Movie: Sleuth (2007)

My Rating: 2 stars

Ugh.  Why did I do this to myself?  Well, it’s probably because this movie was described as a slow-burn, closed-room, psychological thriller.  And, that sounds pretty exciting, right?  It’s a story about an older, wealthy gentleman (Michael Caine), confronting, the sexy, young hunk (Jude Law) who is having an affair with his wife.  It’s supposed to be an intellectual cat and mouse game.  Tables are turned, advantage changes hands, the plot thickens.  But, the movie turned out to be embarrassingly bad. 

Now I understand that this story is a remake of a 1972 film, starring Michael Caine in the young lover role, and Lawrence Olivier as the husband.  This 2007 version is a novelty recreation because it stars Michael Caine again, but now in the role of the older, scorned gentleman.  But, the movie was written by playwright Harold Pinter, and it really feels like a stage play—like there was almost no adaptation for the screen.  And, the effect feels affected rather than charming.  Sets feel unnaturally stagnant, the dialogue feels a like composed banter, twists feel absurdly contrived.  In fact, these so-called “twists” are so glaringly obvious, that I almost thought that there must be something more going on, because surely the filmmakers didn’t mean for the characters to be so forehead-slappingly dense.  Nope.  Apparently they did.  But, I guess it’s the kind of thing that would have worked on a stage—a medium that relies a lot less on clear visuals than film.  On stage, we really do rely on the characters’ painstaking exposition.  But, in this film, the meticulous dialogue feels like overkill, and the close-up camera shots really ruin the big reveals.

I supposed this movie wasn’t meant for me.  I think this movie was intended for the nostalgia seeking set.  It’s for people who loved Michael Caine as the sexy, young hunk from the 1972 film, and who are seeking the novelty of seeing the script flipped.  I just found the whole thing hard to watch.  It’s never a good sign when I start to get really fidgety during a screening.  The clumsy machinations kept taking me out of the story so that I couldn’t even enjoy it for the artistic novelty that it was.  I don’t think I recommend this movie to anyone who’d be watching it for the thriller element.  I guess there might be a few film students or historians that might get a kick out of it.  But, I think that the casual viewer might find the movie as frustrating as I did.