Senna - Exciting Tearjerker

Movie: Senna

My Rating: 4 stars

This is a really powerful film.  I recommend it to anyone, even if you’re not particularly into car racing.  I do have a friend who’s a big fan of Formula One racing, so I am familiar with a fair amount of the team names that get thrown around in the documentary.  But, even with my very limited knowledge, I really enjoyed this film.  I took away a lot of new information about the sport, but I also enjoyed the human-interest story as well.  This documentary tells the story of the tragic racing career of Ayrton Senna, the famous Brazilian race car driver. 

Senna is recognized as being one of the best racecar drivers ever, but he will be forever remembered as being the last driver to be killed during a Formula One race.  It’s pretty devastating.  And, the documentary really hits you in the chest with this heartache.  This is definitely one of those movies that will really choke you up.  But, there is some good that came out of this whole story.  After his death, the Formula One organization changed the safety rules and regulations so that the sport is a lot safer today.  The movie reports that there have been no deaths since.  That’s good to hear, because this film is full of footage of cars that seem to clip each other only very slightly, but then just explode to bits.  It’s pretty scary.  But, even scarier is the occasional footage from the drivers’ helmet cameras that we get so see.  Looking at the race from above, it doesn’t seem like the cars are going very fast.  But when you see that helmet cam, you realize how insanely fast these guys are going.  It’s impossible to see around the next turn.  It’s so scary.

But, there’s a lot more going on in this film than just thrilling action shots, and the tragic tale of an amazing athlete dying young.  The most maddening part of this whole story is learning about all the crazy politics that went on within the Formula One organization, and about some of the crazy rivalries.  Any high profile, successful athlete will attract his fair share of jealousy.  But, Senna was plagued by a nemesis so outrageously spiteful that he almost seems fictional.   That would be the wicked Frenchman, Alain Prost.  Worse yet, these two racers were on the same team together.  But, racing is an individual sport, so there is no benefit to helping out your teammate.  However, you don’t expect them to throw you under the bus!  But Prost does it to Senna again and again.  He tried to get officials to disqualify Senna from races on technicalities, and even tried to collide with him during races to prevent him from winning.  It’s pretty disgraceful, and watching it will make you really mad.

I highly recommend this documentary.  You don’t have to be a sports fan to enjoy it.  There is so much drama in this story that it almost watches like a soap opera.  Of course, it is very sad, so you have to be in the mood for a bit of a tearjerker.  But this one is definitely very worthwhile.

Gnomeo and Juliet - Was this really necessary?

Movie: Gnomeo and Juliet

My Rating: 3 stars

I’m not afraid to admit that I watch kids movies every now and then.  Hey, I usually even enjoy them too!  You just have to be careful how you choose one.  The key is to identify one that looks like it’s catering to both children, and the adults that are taking them to the theater (or putting in that DVD for the forty-seventh time).  And, how could I say no to a delightful little retelling of the classic Romeo and Juliet story, set to the musical stylings of Elton John?  I like both of those things—the tragic verse of the Bard, and the glitzy ballads of Reginald Dwight.  I don’t know who decided that that was a naturally pairing.  And at times, it does feel a little contrived, but I guess it kinda works.  Both things are tragically over the top and melodramatic.  I guess throwing garden gnomes into the story is just as whimsical and adorable so that it feels entirely natural.

And, silly, this movie is!  The Red and the Blue gnomes portray the Capulets and the Montagues.  They are from the gardens of neighboring rival gardeners.  They are competing for the distinction of garden of the year, and if one wins, the other is necessarily excluded.  Each team is trying to cultivate the best flowers, the most exciting water feature, and the most playful use of ceramic creatures.  This is a zero sum game, so the feud runs deep.  All this is all before we even consider the fact that these separate gardens, right next to one another, are the product of a nasty divorce.  Yikes!  But, the gnomes are pretty cute.  There are all kinds of wacky characters, from the classic ones we know from Shakespeare, to some more slapsticky comedic stereotypes.  Yeah, yeah, I know that Shakespeare is also known for throwing a fair amount of raunchy farce into all of his plays too.  But, in this case, the comedic relief feels a little bit more modern. 

Maybe all this tomfoolery is why they decided to add so much Elton John music to the score.  The shenanigans are pretty childish, and even though this movie is based on Shakespeare, it’s been dumbed down enough that adults may not be entirely thrilled with the result.  But, if you throw in enough jazzy musical numbers, choreographed with adorable, roly-poly, little gnomes you may be able to reclaim a sizeable portion of that disgruntled audience.  I guess the movie is cute enough.  And, if I were responsible for entertaining a sticky-faced, little hellion I guess I’d grab this one before some of the other tripe they seem to love so much.  But, my own curiosity has been satisfied with only one viewing.

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One Star Bonanza!

I’ve been listening to a lot of different podcasts lately, and most recently I’ve been checking out some of the offerings over at Earwolf. I really enjoy comedy podcasts, and you know how much I love watching movies of questionable quality. So, I was delighted when I found a show called “How did this get made?” with Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, and Jason Mantzoukas. These three hosts bravely watch some of Hollywood’s biggest flops, and then tear them apart for our listening pleasure. (A disconcerting amount of these movies feature Nicholas Cage for some reason). The best part is that the show releases a mini-episode the day before, telling us what movie they’re going to watch next, so that listeners can play along at home. It’s a really good time. So, here are a few of the little treasures I got to watch as a part of this program. Needless to say, they all received about the same rating from me.

Movie: Season of the Witch

Oh, Nicholas Cage! You never fail us. But, this movie is even more outrageously bad than most. It’s pretty bizarre. This movie looks very slick. It’s set in medieval Europe during the time of the Crusades, and it has some pretty impressive sets, and beautiful cinematography. (Although, I think the production ran out of money when it came time to add some of the CGI. Oops!) But, it’s pretty clear that some of the people involved kinda phoned it in. Now, Nicholas Cage has fully committed himself to this project as always. He really throws himself into his roles, for better or for worse. And, he really embraces his role as a disillusioned holy warrior in this film. But not all the other actors were quite so dedicated to their craft. Accents go in and out. Anachronistic phrases abound. This movie is set back in the time of the Crusades. I don’t think people went around yelling, “Go to hell!” And, I’m pretty certain they didn’t say, “Shit!” when something went wrong. But, by far, Ron Perlman gives the worst performance. I don’t know what his story was. Maybe he didn’t realize what he was signing up for at the time. Or, maybe he was contractually obligated to make this movie. But, he clearly didn’t want to be there. His character has the accent and cadence of a longshoreman, and there’s not one scene where he doesn’t have a look of pure disgust on his face. In fact, I think some of the anachronistic language came from Perlman’s unwillingness to reshoot any scenes. It’s magical. It’s worth sitting through this stinker if just to see some of the worst acting you’ll eve see in a major motion picture.

 Movie: The Last Airbender

 I would never have sat through this movie if it weren’t for the podcast. I never watched the anime series, so there was no reason for me to be interested in this film. I had heard that it was a massive flop and that fans of the animated series felt that the filmmakers butchered a really good franchise, but I didn’t have anything to compare this to. So, I had to evaluate the movie on its own merits. The story is set in some sort of other world where people can control the “elements,” (earth, water, fire, air), and they live in different tribes depending on which one they can manipulate. But, those pesky firebenders are bad guys and are trying to take over the whole world. Only the tiny, karate-chopping, little airbender can save everyone. Who knows why? Of course, this movie is pretty terrible. The gang wouldn’t have picked it for the podcast if it weren’t. The acting is pretty wooden, the filmmakers assume that viewers already have a lot of backstory, and the storytelling gives us no sense of how much time is passing. Some of the plot points also seemed a little questionable, but since I’m not a follower of the series, I’m willing to give the filmmakers a little leeway on that point. Perhaps there are some totally valid reasons why the characters behave so irrationally. This movie is by no means as enjoyably bad as Season of the Witch. It’s really just tedious. And, it just feels unbearably long. It’s the kind of movie where you’ll look at the clock, thinking that it must be about halfway over, and realize that only fifteen minutes have passed. This one isn’t worth watching just for laughs.

 Movie: Battlefield Earth

 Now, this movie is worth watching just for laughs. I can’t even describe how terrible it is. This is L. Ron Hubbard’s infamous science fiction story about aliens taking over the earth and enslaving all humans. For how much certain people seem to care about this story, I would have thought they would have put a significant amount of resources into it. But, the whole project looks totally cheap—especially the alien costumes. They just threw on some platform boots, put in some color contact lenses, and ta da! But that’s not the movie’s only flaw. The timing of the story is all off. The plot is full of huge, gaping holes. And, the acting is just abysmal. Actually, the terrible acting is probably what makes this movie so amazingly bad. John Travolta has really hit an all-time low. I never got the impression that he was such a bad actor from watching all his other films. But, in this one he’s totally insane. With the way he’s hamming it up, it looks like he’s performing in a school play, or some office retreat’s team-building skit. His performance is really self-conscious, and unbearably cringe-worthy. (But, totally worth watching, of course). But, for some reason, Travolta seems really proud of himself. That’s the best part about these total bombs. You know the filmmakers really put their best effort into them. You can’t just whip up something this ridiculous on purpose.

Human Giant - Kidding Around

Show: Human Giant

My Rating: 4 stars

Here’s another sketch comedy show that I checked out upon the recommendation of the Nerdist podcast.  Those guys are pretty well steeped in the world of comedy, so they always have some really good recommendations for me.  Especially since I have a pretty similar sense of humor to theirs.  Human Giant is a sketch group made up of the always hilarious Paul Scheer, Rob Huebel, and Aziz Ansari.  And, these guys have a pretty twisted, strangely self-assured sense of humor.  Their attitude kind of reminds me of the confidence of a little kid showing off his latest, horrifying accomplishment to his mom.  The worse the feat, the more proud he is—like painting the dog green, or shaving his little sister’s head.  It’s hilarious, and mom would be hard pressed not to laugh, but she’s also a little disturbed.  But, I’m just describing the crazy final result of this troop’s comedy, not their process.  These guys are fully aware of the absurdly ridiculous effect of their act.  Although, there’s something in Aziz Ansari’s impish smile that reminds me of a precocious child.

It’s a little bit hard to describe the contents of a sketch show because of the sheer variety of the topics covered.  And, this one has a lot of different sketches.  Sometimes they’ll introduce a topic, but only cover the idea once.  This one isn’t like Snuff Box, where there’s one unifying theme and only a small handful of regularly recurring bits.  Although, there are a few particular sketches in this collection that really stand out in my mind.  The “To Catch a Predator” sketch with Aziz playing the “underage” jail-bait just kills me.  And, the Shutterbugs sketches are also pretty wrong.  Something about yelling insults at innocent, little children that is just so hilarious.  You can just see the confusion on their little faces, like the child actors aren’t quite sure what’s going on.  I think there’s probably a sketch for everyone (assuming, of course, that you’re a sick, twisted person, like me).  Sometimes it’s hard to predict what’ll strike someone as funny, so I’ll leave that for you to decide for yourself.  But, you’ll definitely want to check out this show if you’re into sketch comedy at all.  It’s one of the greats.

Haywire - Kicks Butt!

Movie: Haywire

My Rating: 5 stars

I went and saw Haywire last night, and all I can say is that that movie is totally awesome.  It’s one of those films that gets you all riled up and inspires you to go out at take kickboxing lessons—men and women alike.  That’s kinda cool.  It was one of my friends that convinced a group of us to see this in the theater.  I didn’t really know that much about it, and he only billed it as a “lady MMA fighter movie.”  I didn’t know if that meant it was going to be a training movie, or an action movie, but it was enough to get me interested.

It turned out to be an action thriller.  It’s a story about a super-efficient, highly trained, private defense contractor (the amazing Gina Carano).  She works for some Blackwater-type operation, engaging in super risky, high-stakes, tactical missions—retrieving hostages, tracking dangerous war criminals—that sort of thing.  She’s the best in the game, and all her potential employers know it.  But, on her most recent operation it appears she’s been set up, and made to look like a rogue agent.  So, now she has to make her way home, figure out who betrayed her, all while trying to evade the law.  And these aren’t your ordinary police officers.  It’s those SWAT team guys, with those big, scary guns.  It’s not the ideal situation in which to find yourself.  But, we’re dealing with one tough chick.  She’s kicking butt and taking names almost from the very beginning of the film, and she doesn’t stop for very long in between.  Carano is clearly doing her own stunts.  It’s amazing to see the way her body moves after having watched bubbly, little, Hollywood starlets pretending to do martial arts in movies my whole life.  (Move over Mila Jovovich—your ride’s over).  You can tell the difference immediately when you see a real professional doing these moves for the first time.  The muscle control is just completely different.  It’s hypnotizing.  And, since Gina Carano is an MMA fighter in real life, she’s not afraid to take some real shots.  And, some of those body and face blows look and sound alarmingly real.

This movie is so cool.  It’s one of those ones that has you gushing about it to your friends as soon as the credits start to roll.  You know the type—the kind that has the whole audience give a collective, “AAAAWWWWWW!” right at the end.  It’s that awesome.  And, I can’t wait to see Carano in more movies.  And, after that now-legendary thigh-strangling scene, I’m sure there are plenty of men out there who are thinking the same.

The Code - Indie Plug

Check out this super-funny short horror comedy!

The Code - watch more funny videos      

Filmmaker Taylor Brandt made this little number for Houston's Splatterfest Festival and he pulled in all kinds of awards for it.  You can even spot him in the film as head zombie!  It's only a few minutes long, so there's no reason not to take a peek.

Jesus People - Insultingly Funny

Movie: Jesus People

My Rating: My Rating

So, this movie is the latest attempt to capitalize on the comedic value of those wacky Born Again Christians.  This one is an independent project that I watched on Prescreen.  Oh, don’t get me wrong.  Those guys are so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed that they provide endless opportunities for people to make fun.  Plus, they’re pretty easy marks.  But, when it’s just too easy, all the fun is lost.  Once you have one or two successful films covering a particular topic, you know the copycats will be quick to follow.  My favorite film in this genre has got to be Saved.  The tone of the humor is just right.  The movie pokes fun at some of the hypocrisy you find in some churches (or communities in general), without getting too mean-spirited.  When criticism gets too ugly and personal, I find that it tends to take away from the humor.

My problem with this film is that the message seems to get a little too personal.  Director, Jason Naumann, clearly has some beef with the church, and some of that hatred is really showing through in the script.  That’s kind of a turn off.  The movie is presented in the form of a mockumentary that is tracking the progress of a new Christian rock band.  This musical group is the pet project of a small-town pastor who has just learned that he has a terminal disease.  This is his one last attempt to give back to the community, and to bring more people into the loving arms of the church.  Of course this guy is a ridiculous, blundering buffoon, so he botches these efforts quite thoroughly.  Add that to the rag tag group of semi-talented amateurs that he wrangles up to be in the group, and you have some pretty crazy hijinks.  Hilarity ensues.  There’s the innocent, devout boy, the pretty, but talentless, beauty queen, the black youth pastor who was added for his “urban” flavor, and the washed up, middle-aged, disgraced pop star. 

All this is a recipe for disaster.  But these shenanigans look to me like the director just wanted to make a point about how delusional those kooky Christians are.  The criticism just feels a bit disrespectful, without any of the cleverness that would redeem it.  Personal beliefs aside, when you see this kind of venom being spat out in public, it’s a little off-putting.  It’s more an issue of being polite and tactful toward those with whom you disagree.  Plus, there’s something to be said for subtlety.

All of this is to say that this movie doesn’t have its good points.  Even though I didn’t end up liking the finished product, it does have a good amount of pretty funny jokes.  Naumann does make pretty good use of Wendi McLendon-Covey.  And, she can always be counted on for some rowdy, irreverent fun.  And, all the actors are really good at comedic body language.  That sort of thing is hard to pull off.  I wasn’t too amazed by this film, but it’s an indie project, so I’m willing to cut it a little slack.  If you’re still interested in seeing it, you can find it here.