Before the Light Takes Us - Black Metal Examined

Movie: Until the Light Takes Us

My Rating: 4 stars

 Black Metal has always had a pretty sinister reputation—most of that, by design.  People have always enjoyed a good amount of pearl-clutching and sotto voce moralizing about things considered “Satanic.”  I never really put much stock in the whole Black Metal = Satanism thing.  But, I never really knew how seriously to take those claims.  So, I decided to go to the definitive documentary about the topic, and the events that caused such media panic.  I am, of course, referring to the murder, suicide, and series of church burnings in Norway that were attributed to the Black Metal movement in the 1990s.

 The public has always loved a good Satanic scare.  I don’t think they really even care that it isn’t really a real thing.  Or, that when musicians do claim to be involved in Satanic rituals these days, it’s thoroughly tongue-in-cheek, and designed to be provocative.  Of course, I don’t want to detract from the experiences of honest, practicing Satanists.  I know they’re out there holding their weird, nude, Gnostic masses, as is their right.  But most of the stuff that the media and the general public consider to be Satanic is really just some teenagers engaging in a little light rebellion, and trying to feel important.  And, I think that’s exactly what the Norwegian Black Metal scene was all about.  It was about disaffected teens rejecting mainstream, middle-class values.  They were abandoning the strict expectations of their Christian upbringings.  They were disavowing capitalism, and the consumerism that goes along with it.  And, for a group of teen boys who wanted to forcefully renounce conformism, getting into a purposefully dark, discordant musical movement (ironically?) provided them with the sense of belonging and power that that they craved.  So, I think the movement was always only about insecurity, not communing with the devil.

I enjoyed this documentary very much.  It mostly focuses on two musicians from the band Darkthrone—Gylve “Fenris” Nagell and Varg Vikernes—with a few snippets from other musicians.  Fenris is still in the music scene, producing tracks, and making appearances.  He gives his interviews for this documentary from a variety of different locations—preening in a photo studio, grinning in his messy bedroom, brooding in a bleak, snowy, Norwegian forest, and feeling uncomfortable at an art gallery.  He’s adorable.  I know that’s probably not the vibe Fenris was going for.  He was probably going for more of a “dark lord” thing.  But, he’s just so cute in is dark little outfits, and tossing his glossy locks (that he clearly takes very good care of).  Of course, the story is completely different with Varg Vikernes.  As the one responsible for the murder and various church burnings that brought down so much media attention, he is giving his interview from prison.  And in contrast to Fenris, he’s clean-cut, in a regular t-shirt.  And, his interview is strangely chipper and candid.  When I started watching the movie, I thought the roles were switched.  I didn’t know too much about this case ahead of time, so at the beginning, I thought Fenris was the one who had committed all the crimes, and that Vikernes was the one giving context by casually chatting about his silly, angsty period.  I was actually pretty shocked when I figured out I had it backward.  That’s good editing for ya.

 I think this documentary will be interesting to anyone interested in different musical or countercultural movements.  There’s a lot of meat here.  It was a vibrant scene with a rich tapestry of practices and norms.  The outfits were pretty fun.  It was wildly misunderstood by the mainstream culture.  And, of course, there’s the whole Satanic murder scandal.  There’s a lot of material to work with here.  And, the documentary covers it pretty well.  But, I do need to strongly warn you that the film includes some VERY disturbing images of a suicide that it just springs on the audience without any warning.  It’s graphic, and very grisly, and the image is honestly going to haunt me for the rest of my days.  So, if that’s something you need to avoid to maintain your sanity, skip this film.  But, I don’t think it’s enough to warn you away from the movie if you’re interested in learning more about the Black Metal scene.  If you’re into that kind of stuff, you’re probably already either desensitized to disturbing images, or have a healthy understanding of why it’s sometimes important to witness tragedy.  I’m glad I watched it.  But, you should rely on your own judgment for yourself.

Generation Wealth - American Excess

Movie: Generation Wealth

My Rating: 4 stars

 This is a really interesting film.  It’s a documentary by Lauren Greenfield investigating what it is about American culture that encourages us to pursue money so single-mindedly.  The documentary already looked pretty interesting on its own, but when I learned that Greenfield was the same director who brought us The Queen of Versailles, I was sold.  That was the film about a time-share mogul, and the hideous mansion his family was building to look just like Versailles.  I enjoyed the perverse humor of that film, watching an ex-beauty queen earnestly giving us a tour of her truly ugly home.  And, I also respected the journalism.  Not only does Lauren Greenfield show viewers the vulgar results of American culture run amok, but she also seeks to uncover the underlying causes.

 This documentary focuses on individuals that Greenfield has been following and photographing over a number of years.  We see the photos she took of her subjects over a decade ago when they were young and flaunting their possessions and physiques.  And, we catch up with these individuals today as they give interviews about their lives back then, and talk about how their motivations have changed over the years.  Greenfield does an amazing job of capturing raw emotion in her prints, whether it be happiness, ambition, or sadness.  Really, a lot of the stories are a little more bitter than sweet.  Much of the film’s tone focuses on individuals’ dogged pursuit of wealth and their confusion as to why they still feel so empty even after acquiring their status symbols.  But fortunately, most of the interview subjects have gained some perspective over time, and understand themselves a lot better now.  This kind of journalism makes the viewer feel a lot of empathy for other people.  (Or, it made me feel that way, at least).  And, as horrified as I was by some of the behavior documented in the film, I really valued the compassion it made me feel for humanity and all its foibles.

I highly recommend this film.  It’s fascinating, and it provides viewers more than just a bit of cheap entertainment.  Of course, it is very entertaining too.  It’s fun to get a peek into the lives of very grand, delusional people (and deluded  people striving to be very grand).  But the film will also get you thinking and examining your life.  That’s always a bonus.

T-Shirt Sale!!

It’s time to clear out my t-shirt stocks to make room for some new designs. So, I’m having a limited time sale on my most popular design—the Zombie Chainsaw tee.

You’ll remember that the image is a mashup up of the chainsaw-weilding, zombie bride from [REC] 3 and the "Suicide King" playing card motif.  You can get this design in Black or Red. Stocks are limited, and I only have a few left in certain sizes. So, hop on over to my Merch Store and see if anything strikes your fancy. I may even throw in a free gift with your purchase. ;)

Singin' in the Rain - Cheez City

Movie: Singin’ in the Rain

My Rating: 3 stars

 I generally don’t go in for super cheesy, campy stuff.  And, that‘s entirely what this movie is made of.  I’ve been enjoying working my way through the AFI top 100 movies list along with the Unspooled podcast.  And I’ve actually been a bit surprised at how much I’ve liked a lot of the movies on there.  I prefer a little bit more cynicism and dark humor in my movies.  And generally, I’ve been pretty surprised by how many old-timey movies include that element.  But, this movie is pretty bright-eyed and earnest about itself.  And, I didn’t like it as much as the general public seems to.

This movie’s about . . . I don’t know . . . dancing and singing?  With a pretty ham-fisted love story wedged in to actually give the musical score a plot?  In fact, I think that’s actually pretty accurate.  I heard that the whole movie was produced as excuse to perform the songs.  And, that’s definitely how it reads.  None of the singing feels very organic.  But, then I may be a bit prejudiced against the cheesiness of musicals, so I may not be the best judge of these things.  But, this film falls into the “movie within a movie” category.  Gene Kelly is a famous silent movie star who’s having a hard time transitioning to the world of “talkies,” because his style of acting feels too hammy with sound.  Debbie Reynolds is a cute, little showgirl(?) with an amazing singing voice.  And, Kelly is sure that singing is the key to making his movies a hit again.  But, Kelly’s acting partner, Jean Hagen (whose performance I kinda love), is determined to get between the two and mess up everything.  More singing.

 I think when it really comes down to it, I didn’t care for the lead actors in this film.  Donald O’Connor is fine.  I enjoyed his goofy charm.  But, I can’t stand Debbie Reynolds’ big, doe-eyed, “who me?” act.  It all feels completely fake to me, and I couldn’t stop rolling my eyes.  Plus, I kept getting the sneaking suspicion that she may be have been a kind of a viper in real life.  And, then there’s Gene Kelly.  Yes, he’s a very talented dancer.  And, he does manage to capture the little humor that’s in the film.  But, when it comes to the whole Gene Kelly/Fred Astaire showdown, I’m definitely on Team Fred.  Astaire seems so sweet, and humble.  Whereas Gene Kelly just feels like a sleaze.  Of course, I’m completely willing to accept that these subjective feelings of mine aren’t based on any kind of fact.  But, projecting personality is part of an actor’s job.  And, Reynolds and Kelly just seem to be radiating poison to me.

All this being said, I think it’s still worthwhile watching this movie because of its status as a classic.  And, it’s enjoyable enough to watch, I guess.  But, I was kind of annoyed with the whole thing.  But, if you’re not quite as jaded as me, knock yourself out.

Sorry to Bother You - Wild!

Movie: Sorry to Bother You

My Rating: 5 stars

 Now, this movie is something special.  It’s crazy, and insane, and brilliant!  And, just when the story starts spiraling out of control, and you think it couldn’t possibly get any weirder, it goes ahead and blows through your expectations.  I’ll give you a brief description of the story, but really, you should go into this movie knowing as little as possible about it.  It’s way more fun that way.  Cassius Green (Lakeith Stanfield) needs a job, but all he’s been able to find is a crappy telemarketing gig that’s draining his will to live.  When he learns the secret to success in this cut-throat business, he’s granted access behind the scenes, where he learns about all the industry’s shady dealings.  His girlfriend, Detroit (Tessa Thompson), is a subversive street artist, and she’s not so sure she likes the new company-man that Cassius has become.

This movie is wild.  The outrageous story is highlighted with sequences of magical realism, and tons of dark humor—two of my favorite elements in a film.  A lot of it is pretty disturbing, actually.  But, it’s meant to be.  The film takes a pretty serious stance of a couple different, very bleak, social and political issues.  But, the message is delivered with so much humor and horror, that the demoralizing message feels like pure entertainment going down.  This is the kind of movie that will have you exclaiming out loud.  (Really, I’m not sure how anyone seeing this movie in the theater would have been able to concentrate, with all the laughing and yelling it inspires).  I can’t believe that this is the first feature film that Boots Riley has directed, because it’s pretty much perfect—the acting, the effects, the pacing, the humor.  I loved it.  And, so many of the concepts he uses in the story and filmmaking feel brand new.  When’s the last time you were really surprised by a movie?

 I would definitely recommend this film, but cautiously.  The movie gets pretty raunchy, and it will definitely cause some heated arguments if viewed in mixed political company.  It’s not for kids.  It’s not for tea-sipping grannies.  (Whisky swilling grannies, maybe).  But, this movie is so delightfully rebellious that I urge you to find a way to watch it.  All the people I know who saw it before me insisted that I watch it immediately, and then tell them what I thought.  And, I can totally understand that impulse now.  So, go ahead and watch it, and then tell me what you thought.

Bohemian Rhapsody - See it!

Movie: Bohemian Rhapsody

My Rating: 5 stars

 I absolutely loved this movie!  Really, I can’t praise it highly enough.  The story, the music, everything—there wasn’t a dry eye in the house after the movie finished.  I saw it in the theater, and it was a really moving experience.  This movie is, of course, a biopic of Freddie Mercury, and the band he was in, Queen.  I didn’t really know much about Mercury going into the film.  I was familiar with his music, the same as everyone else.  Somehow, Queen’s music has really seeped into the fabric of American culture so deeply that we’re all aware of it whether we know it or not.  And, this movie is full of their songs from start to finish.  They’re woven perfectly into the story—a perfect balance of narrative and song.  And, I was really quite surprised by how many of Queen’s songs I actually knew by heart.  And, I’ve never really thought of myself specifically as a fan of theirs.

 But as I mentioned before, I knew nothing of Freddie Mercury’s life story.  And, this movie starts with him as a rather rebellious college-age kid, living with his very conservative parents.  And, the movie continues on with him pushing boundaries wherever he came up against them—gender roles, sexuality, band politics, record label negotiations, relationships in general.  It looked like a pretty lonely life—and sad.  It broke my heart to watch.  Because, I can relate to the concept of the alienating effect of a strong personality.  Of course, I’d never want to give up that fire behind the eyes to be “normal.”  And, I’m glad Freddie never did either.  It’s a hard life.  It requires a lot of apologizing, hat in hand (literally—Freddie shared my penchant for novelty headwear).  But, all you need is one person in your life who’s willing to smile beatifically at you, and pat you on the head, as you laugh maniacally in their face.  And, then everything will be alright.  Wow!  At some point this post morphed and became alarmingly all about me. :o/  But, so be it!

 I think this movie hit me so hard because all of Queen’s big songs were written from that really emotional place deep inside that makes us cry when we see an ice-skating performance that’s too beautiful.  Anyone else?  Is that just me?  Oh well, you know what I’m talking about.  (If not, is your heart made of stone?)  And, Freddie Mercury’s amazing voice captures that raw emotion in the most visceral way possible.  And everyone else in the theater was weeping alongside me.  (So, I’m not the only weirdo).  You need to see it!  I want to see it again!  Maybe next time at home, so that I can sing along without too much side-eye.  Don’t wait.  I’m sure you’ll love this film too.  In conclusion, I think this exercise has taught us all a little too much about me . . . I’ll show myself out.

Free Solo - A Real White-Knuckle Ride

Movie: Free Solo

My Rating: 5 stars

 Oh man!  I can’t describe this movie without using the word “tense” about a billion times.  This is a seriously nerve-wracking film.  It’s a documentary about rock-climber Alex Honnold, on his mission to free-climb El Capitan in Yosemite Valley.  That’s a 3,200-foot rock wall.  And this crazy kid decided to climb it in one go, without any ropes or protective gear.  It’s a completely insane venture, and even the filmmakers were debating whether it was ethical to be filming (and indirectly encouraging) a man that could fall to his death at any moment.

  I saw this one in the theater last weekend, and it had me literally sweating.  I was on the edge of my seat, and my palms were sweaty the whole time.  I think everyone in the theater was just as tense.  The scariest part of the movie is that all the filmmakers were sweating it too.  If we just saw endeavor from Alex’s point of view, the audience probably wouldn’t be so worried, because that guy is cool as a cucumber.  But, we learn in the film that Honnold’s brain differs from the “typical” brain in that he doesn’t get scared or alarmed by things that others find terrifying.  So, I’m glad we get to see the story unfold from the point of view of Alex’s film crew—a group of his rock-climbing friends.  Because, they are absolutely terrified for him.  They train with him the whole way, but as the day draws closer, they all start to get really nervous.  None of them really wants him to do this climb, but they know they can’t stop him.  And, when he actually does attempt the feat, few of them have the nerve to watch.

The cinematography in this film is absolutely stunning.  A lot of it was filmed by a crew that was climbing the exact same wall that Alex was.  Of course, they’re all tied in with ropes.  But having the camera up there with him really gives the audience a sense of just how high and crazy this climb it.  The camera sweeps down the wall, showing the height.  And, it sweeps up to give a sense of what a marathon the task is.  It pulls out from a close-up shot of Alex physically exerting himself, to an incredibly wide shot so that we can see just how tiny this guy is on the massive wall.  It’s pretty dizzying. 

I do not recommend this movie for anyone who has any issues with heights, or who has delicate nerves.  It feels like a feat just being able to watch this whole movie without having a complete nervous breakdown.  I had to go wash my sticky hands after it was over.  But, the movie is amazing.  Alex Honnold is an anomaly, and people like that are naturally fascinating.  And, this lean, wiry guy is very charming.  And, I guess that’s what makes him so dangerous.  Even his friends liken climbing with his to smoking cigarettes.  It’s bad for them, but they keep coming back.  His recklessness is contagious, and his friends are worried that it may get them killed one day.  But, of course, this makes for a completely compelling documentary subject.  I loved the film, and recommend it to anyone with the constitution for it.

Tomb Raider (2018) - Just Alright

Movie: Tomb Raider

My Rating: 3 stars

 I’m getting a little tired of these movies.  And, by “these movies,” I mean films about really tough, beautiful women, who are good at everything they attempt—martial arts, fist fights, fashion, survival skills, cryptography, killing and dressing elk.  And, Lara Croft is the ultimate bad-ass babe—good at everything, and looking awesome while doing it.  Of course, these stories are always good fun, but they’ve become so clichéd and predictable that it takes a lot of the joy out of it.  But, obviously that didn’t keep me away from this movie.

I guess I just can’t resist these movies, even though they’re becoming less fun for me.  I suppose it’s marketing.  Tomb Raider is a well-known property.  And, there’s definitely a part of me that would love to be a dangerous chick like Lara Croft.  And, I guess the movie studios are counting on consumers like me (and sweaty dudes) to keep this sort of film afloat.  The whole Tomb Raider franchise was definitely due for a quality reboot.  That Angelina Jolie disaster from 2001 was embarrassingly corny.  And, this is definitely an upgrade.  It’s no longer just about Lara’s boobs.  There’s really an attempt to send her on an exciting and mysterious adventure.  The movie’s got beautiful actors, good special effects, great sets, a moderately complex story, and tolerable acting.  But, it still felt a little tired.  I know a reboot is supposed to be a retelling of an old story, but this movie relies on so many old tropes that it feels recycled.

See this movie or don’t.  It’s a lot of mindless fun.  But, it’d be no big loss to miss it.  The story is adventurous.  There are a lot of physical brawls, a lot of ravines to be jumped, lots of guns, and complex ancient puzzles.    And, the actors are charming.  I always like Alicia Vikander.  And, Dominic West is pretty fun.  Walton Goggins is always the perfect, greasy villain.  And, Daniel Wu is pretty hot stuff.  The movie is definitely exciting and action-packed, but it’s still well-worn territory.  I suppose it’s a crowd-pleaser if you have a lot of family over, and people have really mixed taste.  I like to call these “airplane movies.”  So, my advice is that you use it the way these films are intended—as a tool to stave off boredom.

Bonnie & Clyde - Another Quality Film

Movie: Bonnie & Clyde

My Rating: 4 stars

I’ve really been enjoying following along with the Unspooled podcast.  I’ve been watching all these classy films, and feeling really cultured because of it.  Plus, I’ve come to discover that a lot of these snooty, old-timey movies that I assumed would be so boring, are actually pretty great.  And, that’s always a fun surprise.  I’m sure we’re all vaguely aware of what this movie’s about.  This is America’s famous bank-robbing duo.  But, I really only knew about this story by reputation and wasn’t completely sure how the tale would unfold.  Of course, I was familiar with how attractive Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway looked while playing the parts.  Those are two good-looking people, and their costumes are the absolute coolest.  But, I went into this movie pretty blind. 

I’m not sure what I was expecting from this movie.  I guess I was expecting something about a couple of lovers with terrible home-lives going on bank-robbing, murder spree to fund their fancy habits.  But, almost none of that is true.  These two aren’t lovers.  Well, Bonnie is feeling Clyde’s vibe, but Clyde seems to be absolutely terrified of his partner, and never even wants to be left alone in a room with her.  And in fact, this really isn’t a criminal duo.  Clyde starts adding gang members just as fast as he can just to create a buffer between him and that lusty lass.  First, he adds a random gas-station attendant to the posse.  Then he gets his brother and sister-in-law involved.  And, nothing kills the mood faster than family.  The group seems to be engaging in a life of crime not because they need the cash, but really out of pure boredom (or maybe to impress each other).  I supposed it’s really a cry for attention and strangely, for approval.  The movie was completely different from what I was expecting.  It’s the kind of movie that really gets one contemplating people’s motives and human nature.  And, being a drama, it also makes you a little sad too.

This classic movie is really more about its very flawed protagonists than it is a story about crime.  And, I guess that’s why the story ages so well.  I had a great time getting to know the characters and drooling over their wardrobes.  The story was almost an afterthought.  And honestly, it seems like the action is almost an afterthought for the characters themselves.  But, this is a classic film, and I think it deserves its reputation.  So, I wholeheartedly recommend this movie to a wide audience.

Blockers - Seizing the Night

Movie: Blockers

My Rating: 3 stars

 Every now and then I find myself in the mood to watch a totally ridiculous, raunchy movie.  (Actually, that happens more often than I’d like to admit).  And, in those instances, what could be more perfect than a crude teen sex comedy?  Blockers is about the parents of three high-school girlfriends.  These moms and dads—Leslie Mann, John Cena, and Ike Barinholtz—have become aware of their daughters’ plans to lose their virginity at prom.  And these parents determined to prevent it (hence the title).  These movies are part of a classic genre.  For as long as we’ve had film, there have been storytellers documenting the (mostly vain) efforts of sweaty teens trying to get laid at prom.  It’s a pretty straightforward premise.  But, in my opinion the stories have been getting better over the years.  These comedies are becoming more self-aware, more inclusive, and actually a lot funnier. 

 This genre of movie is now parodying itself, and I appreciate that level of meta commentary.  In the past, this kind of story has typically featured straight, horny boys, trying to trick girls into the backseat of their cars.  Whereas this movie stars girl protagonists who are determined to take charge of their own sexuality.  The script acknowledges that girls have wills of their own, and aren’t just pawns to be hoodwinked.  And, the movie features gay characters too.  These kids are trying to understand these new feelings brought on by their rushing teen hormones, and there are plenty of comedic misunderstandings to be had there.  Also, the jokes are become slightly more sophisticated.  Body parts are no longer the punchlines—or at least not the main punchline.  (One prominent set-piece in this movie does feature John Cena butt-chugging a pitcher of beer).  But, in the 90s, this kind of scene would be like, “isn’t it funny that he’s but-chugging?”  Whereas now, the comedy is more along the lines of, “isn’t it funny that we’re making him butt-chug.”  It’s more about the screenwriters seeing how much fun they can have with the scene where they humiliate the comedic ‘straight-man’.  Ok, maybe these movies aren’t getting too much cleverer.  But, there’s a degree of nuance there.  I don’t know why I’m trying to defend this point.

This is a very funny movie.  You’ll find yourself laughing out loud at jokes, and then be completely embarrassed by what made you do it.  We don’t like to admit it very often, but inside us all is an inner-child who loves a good potty joke.  Of course, the movie is very coarse and raunchy.  It’s not for mixed audiences.  It’s the kind of movie that kids don’t want their parents to know they’re watching, and parents don’t want their kids to know they’ve seen.  But, that’s probably part of the “parents vs. kids” dynamic that is the basis of the whole story.  So, save this one for a time when you know the kids’ll be out of the house for a few hours.  Because, it’s definitely worth your while.

Ben Hur - Lepers!

Movie: Ben Hur

My Rating: 3 stars

 I’ve been going back and watching a bunch of classic movies lately.  It’s because I’ve just started listening to Unspooled, a new podcast that goes through all the movies on the AFI list of top 100 films.  The show hosted by Amy Nicholson and Paul Scheer.  Sheer is one of the guys from the How Did This Get Made podcast, which I also listen to.  I guess he figured he’d punished himself enough with all the terrible movies he had to watch hosting that show, and decided to get himself a little culture.  So, I’ve started watching all these films right along with them.  What I like best about this idea is that these really aren’t films that I would have otherwise selected for myself.  A lot of them look really boring.  (And a few of them are, of course).  But plenty of others are surprisingly delightful.

 This movie, Ben Hur, is one that I ended up liking a lot more than I was expecting to.  I’ve only ever known Charlton Heston as a bit of a punchline.  He’s had some of the sillier and quotable lines of dialogue in cinematic history.  But I had never actually sat through many of his movies.  One of the best parts about this process is that I’m finally getting to see the original source material for a lot of the pop culture references visual tropes that have become a part of our cultural canon.  And, somehow Heston is at the heart of a good amount of these.  In this case, there’s the iconic chariot race scene, and also that image of our hero chained to the oars down in the galley of a slave ship.  I found it super interesting to see.  That’s not to say that I completely enjoyed the task of watching this film.  This movie is incredibly long.  And, the pacing is painfully slow.  I think that’s one of the biggest things that distinguishes new movies from old.  New movies are edited tighter, and move along and a good clip.  Whereas, these old movies drag through scenes, linger on shots, and have a few too many long-winded speeches.  Even that chariot race, this film’s most celebrated and exciting scene, unfolds in real time.  It’s a bit of an ordeal.  I suppose it adds to the sense of fatigue that the characters must be feeling after such a grueling race.

 I think that watching through the AFI list of top 100 movies is a worthwhile exercise.  And accordingly, this is a worthwhile movie to see (and not just because its “important”).  I actually was surprised by how much of this movie I enjoyed.  Of course, you’re not going to want to put on this movie to unwind after a long day.  And, it’s definitely not a film you’re going to want to throw on for the kids with a bowl of popcorn.  It remains a bit of a chore.  So, maybe put it on if you have a lot of laundry to fold.  Or if you want to do a bit of exercise in front of the TV.  Or, watch it in installments.  The film would definitely be a good companion to a repetitive or menial task.  I feel a little bad for qualifying my recommendation so much.  But, I’d rather you see it than not, so feel free to employ any tool necessary to help you get through it.

Isle of Dogs - Quirky, As Expected

Movie: Isle of Dogs

My Rating: 3 stars

 I think I’ll always continue to see any movie that Wes Anderson puts out, regardless of its strengths or weaknesses.  Some of his movies are more compelling than others (to put it diplomatically).  But, even when the content is a bit thinner, I still enjoy Anderson’s aesthetic.  And it this case, I think the film’s visual charms carried the majority of the burden.  This is a story set in Japan on an island to which the city authorities have banished all dogs.  (The pro-cat faction has taken control of the government, and isn’t tolerating any mutts hanging around).  And, one little boy, Atari, has set out on a mission to find and rescue his dog.  Of course, the mission doesn’t go quite as he planned, so the island dogs decide to step in and help him out.

 This is a cute enough premise, but this movie is really more about the elaborate, visual set-pieces than the story.  (This is another Claymation offering, along the lines of Fantastic Mr. Fox).  But, I don’t think the movie’s narrative weakness ruined too much of my enjoyment.  Because that’s not really what drove me to watch this one.  Let’s admit it, we’re all watching these movies for the quirky visuals and appealing retro vibe.  And, in this case, the quirky touch is that the story is told mostly from the point of view of the dogs.  So, the audience can understand what the pups are saying.  But since dogs can’t understand human language, we can’t understand what the people are saying.  Well, I guess you could understand everything if you spoke Japanese.  But since the conceit of the film is that the human characters are always babbling away in the background and don’t really have much bearing on what the dogs are up to, we aren’t given subtitles when the human characters are speaking.  That’s kind of clever.

People didn’t seem to like this movie very much.  It struck some viewers as too experimental.  And, others were offended by the use of Japanese tropes and culture by a white director.  But, I like when directors try new things, and I’m pretty hard to offend.  So, I was on-board for this movie.  It was one I really wanted to see, and I was satisfied with the experience.  And, since anticipating a film too much ahead of time usually ruins it for me, I count this as a success.  So, I recommend this movie for is strangeness and silliness.  However, if you prefer broad comedies and mainstream blockbusters, I’d advise you to skip this one.

Swing Time - Fun (But Awkward)

Movie: Swing Time

My Rating: 3 stars

 Fred Astaire is a delight.  He has such a charming, gaunt, little face.  And, he’s as nimble as a Billy goat.  I guess my love for dance movies extends back into the old-timey sort as well.  I do love choreography.  And that’s definitely why I’m watching these movies.  Because I don’t really care if the local dance troupe saves the neighborhood rec center.  And, these dance movies from the 1930s were similarly light on plot.  Why develop a coherent and compelling narrative when you can solve any conflict or plug any plot hole with an auspiciously timed song and dance number?

So, in this story, Fred Astaire wants to get married.  But, his future father in law isn’t totally sold on the idea of a dancer in a variety show wedding his daughter.  So, Fred’s going to travel to New York for a while to prove his worth by . . . gambling and dancing?  Can that be right?  I mean, I guess it sounds about as plausible as saving the community center through the power of dance, right?  But who cares!  While in New York, Fred meets Ginger Rogers, a lovely dance instructor.  And they fall in love, which puts Fred in an awful pickle.  He’s still planning on taking his gambling winnings back to his fiancé in order to get permission from her father to marry.  But as a dance instructor, Ginger has landed Fred a permanent job dancing at a supper club.  Of course, this leads to a rather unfortunate black-face dance number.  And, that’s a bit awkward if you’re watching this movie in a mixed crowd.  So, perhaps it wouldn’t be a terrible thing for Fred to head back home to live a responsible life in the suburbs.  But once that cringe-inducing dance number is over, the story goes back to the predictable “boy gets the girl” narrative.

All in all, this is a pretty cute movie.  And I do recommend it to casual viewers—insensitive dance numbers aside.  You don’t have to be an aficionado of fine film to appreciate this one.  Because I’ve found that a lot of these movies from the 1930s are actually a lot of fun.  These pre-war movies are usually pretty sexy, and full of exciting night life.  Of course, the movie has got nothing compared to the Thin Man movies, or the Busby Berkely films.  Those will always be the gold standard.  But even I, a person who is typically pretty bored by old-fashioned movies, founds this one to be fun to watch.  So, I say it’s definitely worth checking out.

Black Panther - Pretty Cool

Movie: Black Panther

My Rating: 4 stars

 I liked this movie.  It wasn’t because the story was particularly complex or well-crafted.  The film pretty much follows the format of all these super hero movies we’ve become so familiar with of late.  But, it was really fun to see something different.  This film is yet another super-hero franchise in Marvel’s vast lineup.  And, it really was about time we got a hero that wasn’t a corn-fed white boy.  Not that I don’t enjoy those.  But, we had so many heroes that were so similar that the gimmicks we were using to distinguish one from another were getting pretty contrived.  A lot of it down pretty much came down to cape color.  Of course, I’m being a bit reductive and snarky.  But the point I’m making is that I always like to see a new element come in to mix up a stagnant pool.

 We’ve become accustomed to seeing super hero movies with one token sidekick of color.  And, of course, it was nice when we started seeing that trend start up.  But, it’s really not cutting it any more.  When a story has only one black character, for instance, they’re necessarily written as a pretty broad stereotype.  But when you get to work with a handful different characters, a writer is able to create a much broader range of personalities.  They become individuals rather than symbols.  So, it was very exciting to see the incredible diversity that was possible when every character in this movie was black.  (Except for our token Martin Freeman).  The variety between all the different African tribes that were represented during the multi-nation summit meetings in this film were spectacular.  I wanted to pause the movie so that I could absorb all the little details.  We had good characters, and bad ones; strong ones, and insecure; clever and dopey; beautiful and homely; power-mad and duty bound.  It was quite a palette to play with.  (Plus, I was pretty excited about all the amazing outfits).

 This is a fun movie.  It’s full of crazy action sequences, wild sci-fi technology, acrobatic stunts, amazing costumes, cheesy dialogue—everything you could desire from an action comic.  But, I think it’s also an important movie too.  It’s time to move past the era where the default for every lead in a mainstream blockbuster will be a tall, strapping, European man.  And, this movie provided an excellent start.  This is definitely a movie that everyone can enjoy, and one you won’t want to miss, even if just for the hype.

Tom of Finland - Beefy Lads

Movie: Tom of Finland

My Rating: 3 stars

I liked this movie.  It’s a biopic of artist Touko Valio Laaksonen, better known by his nom de plume, Tom of Finland.  Of course, the subject matter is titillating.  As an artist “Tom” was known for his erotic drawings featuring strapping, muscle-bound bikers, sailors, and cowboys getting into all kinds of mischief.  He’s probably most well-known for his images of leather-clad bikers wearing varying levels of mostly-functionless straps and harnesses.  This guy loved excess.  No lad was ever too beefy, no pants were ever too tight, and no bulge was ever too large.  Images were almost comically larger-than-life.  And, it was super interesting getting to know a little more about the man responsible for these “scandalous” images.  That’s especially the case since Tom was creating this art in a country that was very intolerant of homosexuality at the time.

It’s for that reason that I wouldn’t call this movie a lot of “fun.”   Because, while we do have pleasure of getting better acquainted with this fascinating artist, a good portion of the film deals with the oppression that Tom had to live through while living in Finland.  It was a place where engaging in activities that were even perceived as being homosexual was a crime.  And in the movie, it appears that the police enforced the law quite brutally with various raids and sting operations.  But ultimately, this is an uplifting movie.  It’s important to show the extent of the harassment that gay men lived through in order to appreciate the freedoms that came later.  (And even the freedoms that Tom got a taste of while visiting San Francisco). 

So, I liked this movie.  I had never really known much about Laaksonen as an artist other than a passing familiarity with his images of burly bikers.  So, I enjoyed learning more about what his life was like, and who he was as a person.  And, there are probably a good amount of you that will enjoy learning about him too.  But, I can definitely see how this movie might make some people uncomfortable, with all the explicit, erotic drawings that we get a gander at.   You know how when you’re watching even a very chaste movie, someone always manages to walk in on you during the only sex scene?  Well, this movie is full of opportunities for embarrassment.  So, I wouldn’t recommend watching this with anyone who’d get their feathers too ruffled by watching scenes of an artist lovingly sketching throbbing, bulging crotches.  But really, the rest of the content is pretty tame.  So, just use your discretion when choosing a viewing partner.

Pitch Perfect 3 - It's Another One!

Movie: Pitch Perfect 3

My Rating: 3 stars

I really like these movies.  I love singing.  I love a well-choreographed dance number.  I love Rebel Wilson and her raunchy humor.  And, I really like that these movies don’t take themselves too seriously.  Or, at least, they’ve gradually learned to take themselves less seriously as the franchise has progressed.  (I think that’s kinda what happened with the Fast & Furious movies too).  But, I really get into the spirit of these movies.  While watching them, I usually to sink into the delusion that I can sing and dance too (which is not the case).  But, that doesn’t stop me from trying to sing right along with the movie.  I guess it’s a good thing that I usually watch these things at home. 

You know what happens in these movies.  There’s always some kind of acapella singing tournament.  And, our girls have got to win for one arbitrary reason or another.  Our team is always a bit awkward and inappropriate, but always charming.  (I think I love these movies because I identify with this trait).    Other groups are usually a bit snobby or conceited.  Our girls teach them a lesson or two, but not without being humiliated in some very public way.  We usually get a celebrity cameo or two.  Last time it was Flula.  This time it’s DJ Khaled.  Fun is had by all.  Everyone’s heart is warmed.  They’re all the same.  But, I kinda don’t care.

I always have a great time watching these movies.  But after watching this third installment, I realized that I think I like the idea of these movies more than anything.  The first one was new and exciting, so I forgave it for being a bit sentimental.  I found the second movie to be completely hilarious.  It was my favorite by far.  And, I think this third movie stalled out a bit.  The musical numbers were more elaborate than ever.  But, it got back to a bit of the sappiness I didn’t like in the first film.  And, a lot of the jokes felt a little played out.  But, since I’m so committed to the franchise, I was going to see this one regardless of the quality. (You know what I mean, Fast & Furious).  So, while I don’t think they’ll be making any more of these movies—this one wrapped up all the story lines pretty conclusively—if they were to ever get them started up again, I’d definitely be there.  Because of the completely subjective nature of my enjoyment of these films, I’ll leave it to you to decide whether they’re for you or not.  You’ve probably got a gut feeling leading you in one direction or the other.  And, I’d trust that to guide you.

Downsizing - Phoned-In

Movie: Downsizing

My Rating: 3 stars

The idea for this movie was a pretty good one.  What would happen if we developed the technology to shrink ourselves down permanently?    There’d be a number of reasons to do it.  Some people would do it for ecological reasons since they’d consume less and shrink their carbon footprint.  Others might do it for financial reasons.  Your money would stretch a very long way if your physical needs decreased that dramatically.  And of course, there are still others who may have the procedure done to them against their will, like in the case of human trafficking or incarceration. 

The story has the potential to explore the concept of the creation of a whole new class of people.  By setting themselves apart, and living in their own, separate, wee community, the rest of the world would be forced to interact with these individuals completely differently.  It would skew population density, affect electoral votes, raise a mountain of tax questions.  There’s a lot of potential meat in this topic.  I just wish the screenwriters had done a little more with it. (Or wish that the studio execs hadn’t watered down the script quite so much).  Of course, I don’t know what went on behind the scenes in the making of this movie, but the final result felt very much like a compromise between making potentially troubling social statement and making the movie appeal to a broad audience.  And, I’ve always held the opinion that a compromise is a lose/lose proposition.  Neither party gets what they want.  The film could have made some very interesting social observations or political statements.  How much tax should a tiny person pay?  They get the same vote, but consume far fewer resources.  How much should they pay on common carriers?  Should the government be allowed to make such a severe and irreversible decision about a person’s life and future?  But instead, the story got diluted into a pretty insipid romance.

At least the movie got me thinking about some of these interesting issues.  A good amount of the weighty questions were conspicuous in their absence.  So in a way, the film did make me aware of some of these topics.  I’m not too wild about many of the actors in this film.  But, Christoph Waltz has a bit of a role in the movie, and he’s always a delight.  And, the movie does have a few visual gags that are pretty funny.  So, the film isn’t entirely without its charms.  I’d say, check it out if you’re curious.  You’ll find something to enjoy about the movie.  But, don’t feel obliged.

Ibiza - Re-Live Your 20s

Movie: Ibiza

My Rating: 4 stars

I kinda loved this movie.  On paper, it’s a light and silly, vacation movie.  It’s a story about a young woman whose girlfriends tag along with her on a business trip to Spain.  Naturally, instead of preparing for a big client meeting, she ends up going out with her friends, falling in love with a club DJ, and following him to Ibiza.  Hilarity ensues.  But, the film also has a lot of real emotional impact too.  This is the kind of movie that allows you to remember what it feels like to be young, and alive, and wildly irresponsible.  It’s got it all—booze, drugs, sexual encounters with attractive strangers, dancing all night to EDM.  And, all without the inevitable hangover and crushing sense of regret. 

This is a very goofy comedy.  It’s mostly physical, slapstick, and silly visual jokes.  And yes, it does technically fall into the category of “girls trip comedy” that we’ve been seeing a lot of lately.  But, this one feels tonally different from those crude, cliched flicks.  For a while, it seemed like we were seeing a lot of “rude girl” movies that were trying to capitalize on the success of Bridesmaids (e.g. Girls Trip or Rough Night).  Those movies are fun, but they’re intended to be pure, vulgar comedy, and fail to have any real heart.  However, this movie manages to capture the reckless feeling of being a partying 20-something, while maintaining a lot of the emotional turmoil you’re also going through at that age.  It’s a tough line to walk, but this movie weaves the comedy and the poignancy together seamlessly.  It’s the kind of movie that gets you pumped up and has you asking, “Why don’t we do stuff like that anymore?”  And, then a few scenes later, it reminds you exactly why you don’t.  I don’t know how the filmmakers managed to conjure up the greasy, hazy feeling of being phenomenally hungover, but the sensation is palpable.

I think what really makes this movie a success is the acting.  A lot of actors fancy themselves comedians, but very few of them get it right.  Comedy is an activity best left to the experts.  And, our three main leads, Gillian Jacobs, Vanessa Bayer, and Phoebe Robinson, are experts.  But, it’s not just them.  Really, the whole cast is pretty amazing.  It feels like they all have a really intuitive sense for comedy (especially Vanessa Bayer).  And, the filmmakers had the good sense not to meddle with it.  Nothing can ruin a movie faster than producers notes.  I definitely recommend this movie, as long as you’re not offended by depictions of excessive drug and alcohol use.  But, the movie isn’t really condoning that kind of thing.  It just asks you to accept that it exists out in the world, and gently pokes fun at it.  So, if you’re willing to forego clutching your pearls for an evening, I think you’ll find that this movie is a lot of fun.

The Greatest Showman - Sugary Sweet

Movie: The Greatest Showman

My Rating: 3 stars

I did not care for this movie.  And that surprised me very much.  Because, this is usually exactly the kind of movie I love—wild costumes, big choreographed musical numbers, a roguish, yet sympathetic protagonist.  Sign me up!  And, this movie did deliver all of these elements.  But, unfortunately the tone was a little too sappy and on-the-nose for my taste.  And, it kind of ruined the experience for me.  The movie is nominally about P.T. Barnum getting started in the circus and sideshow business.  I wasn’t expecting the movie to be an accurate representation of that historical scoundrel.  And it wasn’t.  It’s a big musical with saturated colors, dancing, and excitement everywhere you look.  The movie uses the personage of P.T. Barnum as more of a stand-in for a wild and unconventional businessman.  And, it ignores the seedier, more avaricious nature of the enterprise.

Hugh Jackman is nothing if not earnest.  And, god-bless him for that.  But watching sincere love songs, where characters gaze deeply into one another’s eyes and touch each other’s’ faces kinda makes me gag.  And, this movie seems to be filled with nothing but that.  And, the movie is also full of very high-roady themes, like self-acceptance and pulling oneself up by the bootstraps.  And while this is all very morally gratifying, it can get a bit treacly and nauseating.  I don’t have a very high tolerance for cheesiness, and this movie definitely provided more than my acceptable daily dose.  But, I told you I didn’t want to get too crabby in this review, so now I’m going to say some nice things.

There is still plenty to like about the movie, even if you don’t normally go in for sentimental stuff.  Like I said, the movie is full of brilliant colors, and music, and excitement.  It really feels like a spectacle.  And, all the songs are originals.  So, even though I didn’t find them to be the catchiest songs of all time, it’s an impressive feat, and they were still pretty fun.  And, I was pretty impressed by the very diverse cast.  Of course, it’s a Hollywood movie so the actors are all pretty attractive.  But, the cast if full of people of all different sizes, shapes, and colors.  It goes along with the theme of acceptance, I guess.

I don’t think you should take my personal dislike of this movie as an indication of what you should do.  I recognize that I have very specific tastes and preferences.  And, I can see objectively how this movie would appeal to a pretty broad audience.  So, if you think this movie looks fun, by all means, go see it.  I imagine that most people can stomach a higher level of sincerity than I can, so use your own judgment on this one.  But just as a last warning, I thought the trailer made the movie look immensely fun.  And, I felt like there was a little bit of a bait and switch.

The Phantom Thread - Snooze-O-Rama

Movie: The Phantom Thread

My Rating: 3 stars

Now, I don’t want to sound like a total curmudgeon, but it may be inevitable in this case.  Because, I thought this movie was pretty darn snoozy.  The Academy loved this film.  People loved it too (or they said they did . . . maybe in an attempt to present themselves as sophisticated and cultured).  But, as the years have gone by, and I’ve viewed more and more of the films the Academy has decided to grace with an award nomination, I’ve been come pretty suspicious of the whole system.  Are decisions being made based on industry politics?  Are people afraid of looking dumb if they say they didn’t like a critically acclaimed movie?  Or maybe people are genuinely dazzled by these stuffy pieces with their fancy clothes and British accents.  Of course, this is just my cynical take on the whole industry.  But, let me give you the synopsis, and just see if you can conjure up any interest.

This movie is about a very persnickety fashion designer, Reynolds Woodcock.  He creates immensely formal evening wear.  His work is in very high demand, but it seems like that’s due more to its exclusivity than the aesthetics.  Now, every designer needs a muse, and this guy burns through a lot of them.  We enter his life just as he’s getting tired of his last model, and becoming intrigued by a new girl, Alma.  And, we get to ride the highs and lows of Reynolds’ erratic mood swings right alongside Alma.  So, if we put aside all the set-dressing of clothing and the fashion industry, we see that this is essentially a movie about an emotionally abusive relationship—codependent city, population: 3. (Because, Reynolds’ creepy older sister Cyril is always hovering in the wings, ready to swoop in to micromanage the relationship).  It’s a bit of a slog.  But then, I don’t typically go in for dramas.

I had a hard time with this movie.  It was a total snoozefest.  But, I’m fully willing to consider that it may be due to my general distaste for serious dramas, with all the emotionally loaded gazing into the mid-distance, and meaningful silences.  So, please feel free to get a second opinion from someone who’s into this kind of drama.  Or, from someone who is really into the fashion element.  Perhaps my synopsis may have actually stirred up some interest in you.  In which case, watch this movie with my blessing.  But, in my opinion you can get all you need out of this film by looking up pictures of the dresses, and reading a plot synopsis online.