Kingsman: The Golden Circle - Even More Butt Jokes

Movie: Kingsman: The Golden Circle

My Rating: 3 stars

I like silly movies.  I like laughing like a fool over completely ridiculous, rude jokes.  And, so that’s why I like these Kingsman movies even though everyone else in the world seems to think they’re drivel.  People really didn’t like this latest installment.  But you know what?  I’m not too cool to admit that I loved laughing at all the rude jokes this movie served up.  Sometimes that’s just what you’re in the mood for—watching Elton John making a thinly-veiled butt sex joke.

This movie is a continuation of the spoof on the James Bond spy flicks.  The scenarios are outrageous, the gadgets are fantastic, no character stays dead for very long, and the clothes are to die for.  I’ve never wanted a bespoke suit more than I did while watching this film.  And, while the jokes are a bit more over the top than the humor in the original Bond movies, they do share a good amount of the same sort of camera winking.  The story picks up not too long after the first movie.  Life seems to be going well for our protagonist Eggsy.  He’s being a good spy, and he’s in a relationship with the Swedish princess he clicked with in the first movie.  But then, terrorists show up and try to ruin everything!  So naturally, this leads the British boys to look to their American counterparts—the Statesmen—for help.  And, these guys have the same number of snazzy gadgets, and specialty-wear as the Brits.  Although, theirs is more of a cowboy theme, while the English are playing gentlemen.  Let the craziness ensue!  Their exploits take them all over the globe, and they make sure to get there in style—even when they’re fighting a deranged drug lord in the mountains of Colombia.

This really is a silly, fluffy movie.  And, either you’re the kind of person who likes that or you’re not.  I’m not going to try to defend this movie to someone who didn’t like it.  But, I did.  And, it was especially fun to see this kind of outrageous, comedy-action flick on the big screen.  Rent it if you’re feeling up for a mindless but gratifying frolic and detour.  Just don’t expect it to be something it’s not.  Sure, there are plenty of sly nods to classic Bond films, but that’s about as deep as it goes.

The First Monday in May - Costume Crazy

Movie: The First Monday in May

My Rating: 4 stars

I like fashion documentaries.  Fashion designers are such ridiculous creatures.  They don’t talk or even think like humans.  They remind me of wood elves or sprites—scampering about with billowing sheets of sheer fabrics trailing behind them.  Just take a look at John Galliano.  He’s a magical man.  Plus, you’re all pretty much aware by now that I do a lot of things just so that I can interact with fun clothes.  I’m always looking for an excuse to don a costume.  And, I’ll watch movies I have only a passing interest in if it’ll mean getting a gander and some fabulous dresses (Marie Antoinette anyone?).  So, this documentary was great.  It’s about a few fashion experts, Andrew Bolton and Anna Wintour, digging through the archives at the Costume Institute at the New York Met, and fussing over which dresses are the most beautiful.

The documentary is really about the preparations for the 2015 Met Gala.  The theme of the exhibition that year was “China: Through the Looking Glass.”  So, we get to watch our fashion experts scouring the costume archives to find examples through history of how fashion designs were inspired by portrayals of China in Hollywood films.  It’s a great framing mechanism.  The theme is narrow enough to set our curators off in the right direction, but broad enough to really fill out a full show.  And, they really did come up with some stunning examples of historic couture.  The rest of the film is seeing out same experts freaking out about how this party they’re planning really isn’t coming together quite as quickly or cheaply as they’d hoped.  And, a minor meltdown always adds a bit of drama to a story.

Of course, you can’t mention that anything has been inspired by another nation without the cultural and political gatekeepers jumping in and telling us why we are bad for liking any kind of fusion of traditions.  And, right on cue, the critics show up and start in on their spiels.  But, I think they’re missing the point somewhat.  The show is about history, and celebrating beauty.  We can celebrate these fantastic creations, and acknowledge their place in history at the same time.  In fact, I think that acknowledging that place in history may even help people to understand what may be right or wrong about the way cultures have interacted in the past.  Ignoring sensitive subjects has never made them go away.  And suppressing art just to make a political point has never been the answer.  Plus, I think that cultural blending is what growing and learning is all about.  And, that’s about as political as I want to get today.  Because really, I just want to think about all that billowing fabric again.

I liked this documentary very much.  It had everything I was looking for from a fashion documentary.  It benefitted from being a sampler of sorts.  By focusing on a theme rather than one particular designer, it gives viewers a taste of many different ideas and aesthetics, and doesn’t get too bogged down in one specific artist’s personal issues.  And the arc of preparing for and putting on a big show creates natural drama.  This is the prefect thing to watch if you don’t really know what you’re in the mood for.

A Cure for Wellness - Grisly Body Horror

Movie: A Cure for Wellness

My Rating: 4 stars

I love a good, creepy movie.  If you make it a sinister, insane asylum movie, all the better.  I suppose this movie isn’t exactly set in an “insane” asylum.  Technically, it’s a wellness sanitarium—somewhere for wealthy patrons to go and “take the waters.”  But, since this is a horror film, almost everyone at this institution seems pretty insane—guests and staff alike.  There’s nothing creepier to me than an evil doctor (unless it’s a haunted doll).  But, when people go to doctors, they are really putting themselves in a very vulnerable position.  So, for a doctor to be willfully exploiting that trust to do creepy experiments on their patients, it’s prototypical horror.

Our protagonist, Lockhart, is sent to a health spa in Switzerland to retrieve the corporate board member who has been hiding out there for a number of years.  But somehow, since this is a horror film, Lockhart winds up getting committed to the asylum himself.  Everything seems wrong.  The patients are too cheerful—too happy to stay for years or never leave at all.  The diagnoses that the doctors are handing out seem a little too conveniently dire.  The treatments are absolute quackery (lots of cleansing toxins out of the system).  And, it’s almost impossible to find a way out of the place.  There’s a lot of, “You’re free to leave any time.  Just fill out these seventeen forms and present four forms of picture identification.  Of, you don’t carry Swiss money?  That’s a shame because the taxi companies only take up-front cash payments.”  So it adds a layer of bureaucratic nightmare to the dreadfulness.

This movie really does have something special.  We’ve seen this kind of story before—an arrogant protagonist getting humbled by whatever devil happens to be haunting the story.  In this case, the demon is a doctor who insists that everyone he comes across is deeply unwell.  This physician then prescribes all kinds of crazy, terrifying treatments—most of them looking like advanced interrogation techniques.  But, this movie adds some absolutely gorgeous aesthetics.  The story is set in a Swiss castle, and the scenery is breathtaking.  There are gorgeous panoramas with mountains and valleys, and quaint villages.  Contrast that with the stark, clinical, horror that is the asylum, with its endless corridors of white tile, cruel, antique-looking medical implements, and perfect nurses who look dead behind the eyes.  It really makes an impression.  So even though the underlying story may be exploring a well-worn form, and maybe doesn’t make all that much sense, it’s worth seeing anyway.

See this movie if you like horror films.  Like I said, the story is a bit problematic.  It’s well-worn territory, and unravels a bit at the end.  But this is an absolutely beautiful film to watch, and creates a very terrifying mood.  I enjoyed every bit of it.  That being said, the movie is pretty gross—lots of body horror, and some pretty grisly mood-setting pieces.  But, you wouldn’t be renting this movie if you weren’t ok with a little bit of that.

Logan - Bleak Stuff

Movie: Logan

My Rating: 4 stars

This movie came with a lot of hype.  People were going on and on about how dark this new X-Men movie was.  But, the X-Men franchise has always been really dark.  It’s always been about persecution, exploitation of vulnerability, and/or self-loathing.  And, the Wolverine character has traditionally been one of the most conflicted characters in the franchise.  So, I really didn’t know how they were going to make this movie much more depressing.  But, it really does find a way.  The movie is definitely a lot more bleak and gritty than what we’ve become accustomed to with X-Men films.

As you might infer, this is about Logan/Wolverine, and we find him in really bad shape.  He’s alone, physically broken down, and with nothing to live for.  We learn that everyone he’s ever known and loved is dead or dying.  And even he, the formerly indestructible self-healer, is slowly falling apart.  He has nothing to live for, and no one left to care about.  And, things really don’t get much better for him.  He’s introduced to a mysterious but fierce young girl, and neither of them really wants much to do with the other.  Logan is given instructions that she’s being hunted by bad people, and that she really needs to get across the Canadian border.  And, he finds that he really has no choice but to help her.  The only alternative is to abandon her and then try to live with himself.  So, he does.  And, the rest of the movie is pretty much just the pair of them running away from the baddies, and leaving a trail of innocent people dead in their wake.  There’s not a lot of justice in this story.

After having seen the film, I think the answer to what makes this story particularly dark is that it removes most of the hope that was present in any of the previous movies.  It’s not a movie that gives us anything very good to cling to by the end.  And, viewers are going to have to find a way to be ok with that.  I really enjoyed the story, and I think others will too as long as you can tolerate more than a little bleakness.  Mostly, the acting is really good.  Everyone was raving about the performance given by the little girl, Dafne Keen.  And, I have to agree.  She really is a ferocious, little creature.  I’m usually a bit skeptical when the masses are going bonkers over something, but in this case, I think the hype was justified.  I recommend this movie.  It’s just different enough to be interesting.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Movie: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

My Rating: 3 stars

I love a big, goofy, sci-fi blockbuster.  I don’t care if its cheesy, or overwrought, or full of plot holes.  I really enjoy a spectacle set in space.  I’m also quite a fan of Luc Besson’s insane brand of filmmaking.  That guy really has an eye for absurdity.  And, I love the oversized scale he works on.  Everything is big and bright and shiny.  And, it helps that he has a bit of a sense of humor as well.  With all that being said, I really enjoyed this latest film of Besson’s, flaws and all.  This is not a great movie.  In fact, I could really pick it to pieces if I really wanted to.  But, I won’t.  I prefer to look for things to like about a movie, rather than elements to dislike.

This movie is based on an old, French, sci-fi, comic book series that I was not familiar with at all.  I hear it was quite successful in France, but I have no basis for judging this film against the source material.  But, I was drawn in by the big, splashy trailer, like the rest of the masses.  The movie has all you’d want from a trashy summer flick—spaceships, interdimensional travel, intergalactic crime, sexy protagonists, strange new aliens, a few sexy new aliens.  It looked like a good time to me.  And, that it was.  Unfortunately, what it wasn’t was a coherent story. 

Valerian and Laureline are space cops.  And in this story, they’re out to recover smuggled contraband for the government.  But, they appear to be teenagers for some reason.  That’s really just about all the information we’re given about these sexy kids.  But, we get to witness a lot of flirting and sexual tension between the two.  It appears that Luc Besson was way more interested in presenting gorgeous set pieces, bizarre characters, and exploring fascinating new concepts than writing an air-tight script.  And, those elements are genuinely distracting and entertaining enough to make me want to ignore the lack of a real plot.  In fact, he creates the kind of world that I’d love to see other stories set in.  There are endless possibilities for stories from these thousands of “planets” that are all docked together in an elaborate, multicultural space station.  And, creating a world like that is a feat in itself.  But there’s so much to look at, so much I’d want to explore, and the script seems really rushed, and the timetable feels drastically condensed.

I liked this movie, and I even went to see it in the theater.  And, while I think a big, crazy blockbuster like this one benefits from being seen on the big screen, I wouldn’t go so far as to recommend you buy a theater ticket.  The movie is visually stunning, and it’s very imaginative.  And, I think you’d probably enjoy it as much as I did as long as you go into it with a generous heart.  But, I think you’ll be just fine watching it at home.

Dunkirk - Haunting Stuff

Movie: Dunkirk

My Rating: 4 stars

I went to go see this movie in the theater.  I had heard that this film in particular really benefitted from being seen on the big screen.  And, I’d have to say that after having seen it, I agree.  The movie is about the crazy story of the evacuation of Allied troops from Dunkirk beach during World War II.  But, the way this movie was made, it’s less of a story that’s being told, and more of an atmosphere that’s being created.  So, being immersed in the scene with the surround sound, and big picture, really highlighted this aspect.

The story is relatively simple.  The Germans have the British and French troops surrounded, and pressed up against the ocean in the North of France.  And, they keep bombing any of the big boats that try to come pick them up.  So, the Brits have to send tons of tiny, private boats to get the soldiers.  But, the experience of watching the movie is less narrative driven, and more one of giving the audience the feeling of what it would be like to be stranded on that beach.  And every avenue of hope is being sunk, one by one.  Soldiers jostle to be one of the handful of men to get on each evacuation craft that arrives.  Then just as the boat is pulling off the shore, the whole thing is sunk by an aerial bomb.  The men who aren’t killed by the explosion usually just drown, trapped below deck of a sinking ship.  And, this keeps happening over and over.  It’s very demoralizing—and horrifying.  I had heard that some World War II veterans went to see this film, and I can’t imagine the kinds of nightmare memories this realistic experience would have brought back.  The movie really captures the pure misery of the situation.

This movie is Oscar fodder if I’ve ever seen it.  It’s got all the necessary elements—World War II drama, check; period appropriate costumes, check; a virtuous sense of moral superiority from watching a struggle in which the good guys come out victorious, check.  But, unlike some of those other cynical, award-bait movies out there, this one really is very good.  It’s not really trying to be grandiose for the sake of it.  And, even though the format of the movie does serve to highlight certain characters and themes, it really does stay true to the human element.  This is a very good movie, and I recommend you see it.  Be warned, of course, that it’s not entertaining in the classic sense.  There’s almost no soundtrack, or even very much dialogue for that matter.  And the narrative is very loose.  The mood is mostly captured in images.  But if you are prepared for a lower, artsier film, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

Bernard and Doris - Billionaires Gone Wild

Movie: Bernard and Doris

My Rating: 3 stars

Now, here’s an interesting film.  I can’t say it’s the most exciting thing I’ve ever seen.  But, it’s a true story (with dramatic embellishments, of course), and it’s a pretty wild one.  This movie tells the story of billionaire Doris Duke, and her trusty manservant, Bernard.  He’s the one that everyone thought had her brainwashed and was holding her captive in her own home.  So, this movie really takes the audience through their very complicated relationship, from the beginning, right to the end. 

The two lead characters are played by Ralph Fiennes and Susan Sarandon, and they are magnificent.  These actors are able to capture just how problematic these two personalities were, and unpack the toxic byproduct of their relationship.  These two had fun together, but they also got themselves into some pretty deep trouble.  Doris Duke was well known as a great philanthropist.  But she was also a deeply unhappy alcoholic.  In Bernard, she found a true confidant—someone prepared to dedicate his whole life to serving her and becoming close to her.  When someone is tending another person’s every need, day in and day out, the two start to get to know each other very well, and the lines in their relationship start to blur.  From what I could tell, Bernard really did care for Doris.  Their relationship grew into something more than just an employer/employee arrangement.  Unfortunately, Bernard was also a chronic alcoholic too.  So, this pair just ended up enabling each other.  And with billions of dollars at their disposal, they could get up to quite a lot of trouble.

The rumors about unlawful imprisonment and brainwashing were largely caused by the fact that Doris Duke left her whole estate to Bernard when she died.  And I’ll admit, that does seem a little shady.  But neither one of them really had their hands clean when it came to the motives behind their actions. And, Doris Duke was always known for her rash decisions.  This movie does an excellent job of showing us just how a bond as unhealthy as this one may have formed.  The acting is excellent.  And, the movie really works well as a psychological portrait, even if there really isn’t a story and nothing ever happens.  I don’t think I’d recommend you go out of your way to track down this film.  But, if you stumble across is and have the time, it’s worth your time.

Fist Fight - Good For the Brawl

Movie: Fist Fight

My Rating: 3 stars

I really like Charlie Day.  His dark sense of humor is right up my alley.  So, whenever I learn that he’s involved in any kind of movie or TV project, I’m always in.  So, of course I was interested in this movie where he’s in a less-than-professional faceoff with Ice Cube.  The two actors play rival high school teachers.  The school board is making cuts, and one of these gentlemen is going to be let go at the end of the year.  The decision doesn’t necessarily hinge on the outcome of this little tussle that Day and Cube have planned, but tensions are so high, that a brawl going to go down nonetheless.

Charlie Day really is the best thing about this movie.  He always plays such harried characters.  He’s always at his wits end.  And, it’s always very fun watching his inevitable meltdown.  But, that’s kind of all this movie has going for it.  Except for his performance, this really is just like any other dark comedy about high school teachers who hate their jobs and their students.  And, there really are a lot of them out there.  Or, maybe I just have a particular weakness for this kind of story, and have just rented a lot of them.  But, you’ve seen all this material before—the pathetic teacher that none of the kids respect, his harpy wife, the hard-ass teacher that all the students are afraid of, the sexually inappropriate guidance counselor who’s lusting after all the sports boys, the asshole principal, a whole fleet of students with faces in need of a good punching.  There’s really no new ground.  So, we’re left just waiting for the ultimate fist fight, as promised by the title.  And, fortunately we get a pretty satisfying one.

I liked this movie well enough.  Not enough to actively recommend it to anyone, mind you.  But, I guess I’d tell you to watch it if you like Charlie Day as much as I do.  He’s a treasure and always a joy to watch.  Plus, Ice Cube is an admirable opponent.  He doesn’t have an incredibly broad range as an actor.  I think he’s pretty much only ever played versions of himself in movies.  But, I enjoy his performances.  And, perhaps that’s exactly what Charlie Day is doing as well.  So, I’m not complaining.  This movie is light, and irreverent.  But, it’s probably not worth going out of your way for unless you’re really at a loss for what to watch.

Okja - Quirky Korean Comedy Horror

Movie: Okja

My Rating: 4 stars

What a delight!  I’ve always loved Bong Joon-Ho’s movies.  He always has such a unique take on the movie genres we think we’re familiar with.  So, I was pretty excited to learn about this new project he had going with Netflix.  As far as I’ve been able to tell Netflix has had a pretty good track record with sponsoring original content.  Of course, I don’t have knowledge of the internal workings of the company, but it seems like Netflix is pretty good about selecting quality directors, and then handing over complete artistic freedom to them.  It takes a pretty wise entertainment executive to know when to keep their hands off.

This movie is so strange and wonderful.  It’s a cross between a heartwarming animal movie, moralizing tale about the evils of the commercial food industry, and a bit of an action flick too.  It’s the story about a young Korean girl, Mija, and the beloved animal she’s raised since childhood.  The big, soulless food conglomerate, Mirando Corporation, has been experimenting with genetically altered sources of meat, and they’ve come up with the “super pig.”  It’s a large hippopotamus-dog-pig-looking creature.  They’ve sent a few specimens of this new beast around the world to be raised in beautiful, bucolic settings.  The aim is to create some robust, healthy, free-range examples of the animal to serve as ambassadors of the project when Mirando is announcing this new meat source to the public.   They’re being carefully groomed to be beautiful, happy, healthy-looking animals so that no one thinks of a horrible factory farm when they think of a super-pig.  But, no one has told little Mija that the company folk are going to come take away her pet one day.  And, there’s no way she’s going to stand for it when they do.

Of course, this is Bong- Joon-Ho, so the film is full of amusing contradictions.  It’s a story of a girl and her super-pig, but also an intense, rated-R, action horror movie.  But, I can’t really say that it’s more one than the other.  It’s as happy as it is sad, and as heartwarming as it is disturbing.  Yes, it’s sweet, but it’s also gut-wrenching.  Sure, it’s grotesque, but it’s also very irreverently funny.  The movie even has violent moments, but it balances those out with simple, country values.  And really the most impressive part of the movie is that it never gets heavy-handed with any of these messages.  It’s never hammering home any morals or opinions.  It simply presents ideas and lets the viewers come to their own conclusions.  It’s a remarkably made film.  And, you don’t have to wait to see it.  It’s available through any streaming subscription to Netflix.  So, I saw it the day it came out.  And, I recommend you see it too.  Just be prepared to feel a lot of different emotions in quick succession—not all of them good.

Wonder Woman - Delightful Summer Fun

Movie: Wonder Woman

My Rating: 4 stars

Of course I went to see this movie in the theater!  How could I not have?  It’s got just about everything I look for from a light, summer, movie outing—tough, lady characters kicking butt, fancy costumes and period dress, ridiculous CGI fighting sequences, silly comedic relief, and an audience full of rowdy, middle-aged ladies drinking wine right out of the bottle.  I didn’t even know that movie theaters sold bottles of wine.  Perhaps these gals smuggled them in the way I’ve been known to do with a hot meatball sub.  But either way, the fun and rowdiness of the occasion was enough to make me ignore the rather cheesy plot and relatively predictable story line, and just enjoy the experience.

This movie is, of course, an updated version of the classic DC Comic, Wonder Woman.  This is a character whose image I’ve been familiar with since I was in pre-school.  But, as with all the other resurrected comic book franchises we’ve seen lately, I really was never familiar with the comic.  So, I wasn’t drawing on any nostalgia for the actual story or lore of the character.  However, I do have a special place in my heart for Wonder Woman.  I was a very small girl when I first became aware of this character, and as is typical with little four-year-olds, I really responded more to the imagery than anything else.  And even as a small thing, I was very taken by the idea of a strong, fighting lady.  I remember my friends and I punching through the bottom of dixie cups so that we could wear them on our wrists like those bracers that Wonder Woman wears.  So even thought I was never familiar with the comics that this character was based on, I do have some nostalgia for her nevertheless.  And from my point of view, this high-budget extravaganza really did the character justice. 

I did enjoy this movie.  It’s not perfect by any means.  But, it was a really fun one to see in the theater with a full crowd, and I recommend you see it that way too if you can still find it playing anywhere.  I know this is exactly what the movie studios are counting on, but there’s something about a big, action-packed, super-hero movie that lends itself well to the big screen.  And, that’s what this movie was.  It didn’t really hold any surprises for me.  But sometimes it’s comforting to get exactly what you’re expecting.

Captain Fantastic - Wild Geniuses

Movie: Captain Fantastic

My Rating: 5 stars

What a great movie!  Somehow, I missed this one right when it came out.  But, a friend recommended it to me, saying that it was really good, so I decided to check it out.  And, the movie really is fun.  It’s funny, and sad, and awkward and amazing.  I’ve found that that’s often the mark of a great movie—when a script elicits many different, conflicting emotions.  I was expecting to like this movie, and that usually means I’m setting myself up for disappointment.  But this time, it far exceeded my expectations.

This is the story of a man (played by Viggo Mortensen) living out in the woods with his pack of six children.  They’re living completely off the grid, and dad is homeschooling his brood.  Naturally, their education is wildly unconventional.  It’s a combination of history, philosophy, advanced science, outdoorsmanship, and intense survival skills.  And, since he doesn’t have to teach at a pace that would be appropriate for a whole class, their curriculum is extremely accelerated.  These are amazing kids.  Their knowledge would put most adults to shame.  So, even though dad is almost certainly a little bit insane, the training clearly seems to be doing the kids some good.  But, things get sticky when they learn that their mother has died.  Dad and kids would like to go to her funeral, but the in-laws have they’ve made it clear that this pack of wildlings will not be welcome there.  It’s a comedy of errors (albeit a dark one) as these kids are introduced to American culture for the first time.

I’m not really doing this film justice.  The story is interesting enough, but the real magic comes from the crazy characters and the amazing acting.  Of course, Viggo Mortensen is great.  But, the whole pack of kids is also pretty special.  They’ve perfectly captured the type of wild, precocious, socially awkward geniuses that this sort of an upbringing would produce.  Each child has her own quirk, or his own bizarre personality.  I think it would be really interesting to be such a creature if it didn’t seem so annoying to be raised by such a strict, pedantic dad.

This is a great movie, and you should rent it.  You’ll be cheering for Viggo and his kids, even though they aren’t presented as perfect people.  There’s a lot of grey area in the script, and it’ll stir up some pretty complex emotions.  But, mostly the movir is sweet and funny and heartwarming in the weirdest way possible.

Arrival - Super Interesting

Movie: Arrival

My Rating: 4 stars

I was pretty impressed by this movie.  I’m usually a pretty big fan of science fiction.  And, the whole “first contact with an alien species” genre is usually pretty rich with potential.  That kind of a story usually stirs up all kinds of different emotions—excitement that there really is more out there in the universe, fear of the unknown, anxiety over earthly politics.  And, I think this movie did a really good job at dealing with those issues.  And, it seemed like a really realistic portrayal too.  The story starts with several enormous, alien spacecrafts having arrived to Earth.  They’ve installed themselves above various, seemingly random, world sites, and seem to be just hanging out, waiting for humans to figure out how to communicate with them.  They seem open to it, but neither side really knows where to start.  Enter Amy Adams, who plays a world-famous linguist.  With the help of a handful of other scientists, she’ll try to find out why these creatures are here, and what they want.

The interesting thing is that this movie almost sets aside the fact that aliens have just visited our world.  It treats that as a fact that everyone has already accepted.  Because, the humans seem way more interested in political games than they are with the fact that there is intelligent life elsewhere in the universe.  Our governments are stressing out about what China or Russia are doing, when they should really be more concerned that an advanced, intelligent, alien species has managed to make it all the way to our world.  Humans in this story are pretty lucky that the visitors seem to be only interested in peaceful goals, because otherwise, humanity would be screwed.  In this narrative, it’s almost a race to see which group of humans will break the code first.  The various governments start off cooperating, but as the stress of not making any headway rises, they lose confidence in each other, and start cutting off all communication.  So, the countdown for the American group has begun.  They need to start meaningfully communicating with their visitor before other countries do something rash, like nuke the visiting ships.

I liked this movie a lot.  I liked the realistic political issues that a fanciful science fiction scenario like this would raise.  I liked the puzzle posed by the idea of trying to communicate and share information with beings that share no common experience at all.  I wouldn’t have the first idea of how to begin that process.  I hope that real linguists have some idea of how to go about that.  But, the fact that we still haven’t decoded a couple of the ancient human alphabets that we’ve uncovered doesn’t give me much hope.  I highly recommend this movie.  Don’t go into it expecting an exciting action flick.  It’s more of a science movie than a “kicking alien butt” movie.  But, I really enjoyed that about this story.  And, if you’re in the mood for something this pace, then you will too.

Victor Frankenstein - Watch It for the Acting

Movie: Victor Frankenstein

My Rating: 3 stars

I didn’t rent this movie for the story.  I’m pretty much bored to tears by the story of Dr. Frankenstein and his monster at this point.  And, I was never very impressed with the novel to begin with.  But, I’ll never say no to the opportunity to watch James McAvoy, and to a lesser extent, Daniel Radcliffe, doing their acting thing.  Radcliffe is darling, and I usually enjoy just about every role he plays.  But, I really love James McAvoy.  He’s so charismatic that he makes every character he plays just fascinating.  And, he’s really on fire in this movie, playing the half-insane Dr. Frankenstein.  I can’t get enough of a good crazed-eyed, open mouthed laugh.

This movie gives us the classic Frankenstein story, but told from the point of view of the doctor and his assistant Igor, rather than the monster.  This version doesn’t track the experiences of a freshly resurrected creature, with all his confusion and terror.  Instead, this story attempts to examine why a person (Frankenstein) would be motivated to create life out of spare (or stolen) body parts, and then why anyone (Igor) would ever agree to help him build this unholy creation.  And, I think the writers stumbled upon a pretty convincing theory in combining the doctor’s genuine desire to make a medical breakthrough, and his magnetic charisma.  Add in a healthy dose of moral obligation for being rescued from dire circumstances, and poor, little Igor didn’t stand a chance of avoiding entanglement.

This movie is alright.  The story is nothing too new or exciting.  It really doesn’t cover much new ground at all.  But, the acting is pretty great.  Daniel Radcliffe plays a delightfully baffled ingénue.  And James McAvoy is an infinitely charming madman.  Of course, there’s a love interest thrown into the mix for good measure, but it’s hardly necessary to the story.  Go ahead and see this movie if you’ve got tons of time on your hands and no good ideas of how to fill it.  But, I don’t think you really need to go out of your way to track this movie down.  Do make the effort, however, if like me, you have a bit of a thing for James McAvoy.  He is effervescent in this role.

Moana - A Solid Offering

Movie: Moana

My Rating: 4 stars

I enjoyed this movie, even with how simple and formulaic it is.  Perhaps it was the catchy music.  Or, maybe it was fun to see a culture other than Western Europe’s being explored in a fairy tale.  But possibly, I just have a soft spot in my heart for Disney movies in all their cheesy, predictable glory.  I guess it’s a nostalgia thing.  Because, even though a big deal was made over this being a new, diverse direction for the studio to go in, it’s still firmly entrenched in the Disney Princess franchise, with all its rules, formulae, and aesthetics. 

Moana is a smart, brave, Hawaiian princess, and it’s up to her (and a quirky animal sidekick) to go on an adventure that will save her kingdom.  There isn’t much new material here.  We’re all familiar with the bones of this story.  Just the details are different.  But, it’s a popular formula.  And, princess merchandise is profitable.  So, Disney is probably going to keep cranking these princess movies out for as long as fussy little girls have the strength and will to demand hot, unbreathable, polyester knockoffs of their iconic gowns.  I can’t say that I would have been any different from these demanding, little lasses, had these dresses been for sale when I was little.  So, I find the whole spectacle to be very amusing and relatable.  But, I digress.  This movie is a heartwarming tale of a very brave girl who must balance her personal desires for freedom with the role that’s expected of her as the heir to her nation’s throne.  It’s a hard choice to make.  But, as disaster threatens her island nation, her role becomes clearer.

This is a very cute, very standard Disney story featuring female empowerment and self-actualization.  But, it’s a more modern version.  Moana doesn’t have to prove to anyone in the story that she’s just as good as a boy.  That’s the kind of thing that we would have seen in a movie from ten years ago.  In fact, her gender is never an issue at all, nor is it even really mentioned.  And, I found that to be very refreshing and way more inspirational than those older tales of “empowerment”.  We just get to enjoy a very capable protagonist learning, growing, and accomplishing very exciting feats.  And, of course there’s a little bit of magic to help her on her journey.  I wouldn’t have gone out of my way to see this one if I weren’t already into Disney movies.  But, it’s one of the better examples in the genre that I’ve seen.  So, go ahead and watch this one if you’re in the mood for something heartwarming and unchallenging.

I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK - Love and Mental Illness

Movie: I’m a Cyborg, But That’s Ok

My Rating: 4 stars

Now, here’s a slightly older film from Park Chan-wook.  Not quite as old as his Vengeance Trilogy, but I’d overlooked it for quite a while.  I’m a big fan of Park’s films.  He’s a great storyteller.  And, this one is just as quirky and strange as any of his other films.  Although, this one isn’t quite as dark as his typical fare.  Of course, it’d be impossible for Park Chan-wook to make a movie without any darkness at all.  But this one—a romantic comedy set in a mental hospital—is about as light and frothy as we’re likely to get from him.

Cha Young-goon is a mentally ill girl from a family with a history of schizophrenia.  She hears voices, and sees visions.  But, the real issue is her recent epiphany that she’s really a cyborg who has only been living the life of a normal girl.  And, after one little incident at work where she opens her arm, shoves some wire inside, and then tries to plug herself into the wall, Young-goon is quickly sent packing to a residential mental facility.  There, staff can keep an eye on her “suicidal” tendencies.  But, the staff don’t understand.  Young-goon isn’t trying to kill herself.  She needs to lick batteries and stick her fingers in sockets to “recharge” herself.  She is a robot after all.  And, she isn’t anorexic.  If she were to eat people food, she’d just gum up her internal machinery and break.  Of course, the facility is full of all kinds of other inmates, each with his own personal problems.  And, the staff don’t seem to be particularly dedicated to getting to the bottom of their delusions.  So, the patients are pretty much left to rile each other up and stew in their fantasies.  But, some of the inmates are interested in helping each other.  And, one (attractive male) inmate in particular has taken it upon himself to help out Young-goon.

Based on the description, this movie could be one of many things.  It could be a cheesy feel-good movie.  It could be a psychological horror.  But Park Chan-wook has decided to take this movie in the direction of a dark comedy.  He isn’t necessarily making fun of mental illness.  But, he’s definitely using it as a tool to shed light on all humans’ humorous weaknesses.  I enjoyed this movie a lot, and I wasn’t really expecting to.  I’ll admit that I had forgotten that it was directed by Park until I got the disk and looked at it.  And, at that point my hopes for it improved.  Of course, this isn’t one his best films.  Park Chan-wook really works best when you give him a big drama and a lot of space to spread out.  But for what it is, this silly little romantic comedy is quite delightful.

Gold Diggers of 1933 - Some Racy Fun

Movie: Gold Diggers of 1933

My Rating: 4 stars

I’ve recently discovered that I love these movies from the 1930s.  I’ve mentioned it before, but I was always under the impression that all these old movies would be stuffy and wholesome.  But, it turns out the 1930s were pretty swingin’.  Story lines are raucous and sexy, characters are uninhibited, jokes are pretty cutting.  Oh, and the fashions are amazing.  I want all the clothes in these movies.  I was actually turned on to this movie by a couple podcasters I listen to.  They have great taste, so I can always trust their reviews.  It’s important to pay attention to critics with whom you share sensibilities.

This movie’s title pretty much explains everything.  A group of down-on-their-luck showgirls have had enough of the economic depression.  They’re tired of stealing their neighbors’ food, tired of sharing outfits and beds, tired of pawning off their possessions, and especially tired of unemployment.  So, they’ve decided to take matters into their own hands.  Our ladies are plotting with a big producer to drum up enough money to put on a huge show.  It has to be glitzy and glamorous to draw in the crowds.  So, these girls put on their sexiest dresses and head out to the night clubs to fleece some high rollers. 

This is a very irreverent comedy.  I would almost even call it a sex comedy, because a lot of the hijinks come in the form of luring men into compromising positions and shaking them down for cash.  But, these girls aren’t the bad guys.  The viewers are definitely meant to side with them as they con these pompous, old guys with their old-fashioned social rules and morals.  Those gentlemen could definitely stand to have their sensibilities shaken up a bit by these “scandalous” women.  And, they definitely do.

I loved this movie.  It is so fun, and wild.  And, like I mentioned before, it’s way more risqué than I was expecting it to be.  We actually get to see the big show these girls have been raising money to put on, and it’s everything you could hope for.  Glitz, glam, some remarkably racy themes.  Plus, if you’ve never seen one of these movies about big musical shows, you’ll be astonished by just how over-the-top they are.  It’s good stuff.  I’d say, definitely watch this one.  If you’re worried that you’ll be bored by it, don’t be.  That was my fear too, and I was thoroughly entertained.

Swiss Army Man - Descent Into Madness

Movie: Swiss Army Man

My Rating: 2 stars

What a strange movie.  I really didn’t care for it.  I don’t think it’s because I didn’t understand the movie.  The story is crude, sexually awkward, illogical, disjointed and makes no kind of sense.  But, I’m aware that these elements are meant to recreate the chaos inside one man’s broken psyche as he sinks slowly into madness.  And, I think that attempt is largely successful.  But, it’s understandable to say that it isn’t pleasant to experience that insanity first hand. 

I think we were all introduced to this movie as the “farting corpse” movie.  Or the “Daniel Radcliffe is a farting dead guy” movie.  And yes, Daniel Radcliffe does play a dead man.  And, a lot of his on-screen time is dedicated to humiliating acts such as passing gas, getting a boner, or barfing up fluids.  That poor guy pretty much endures all the most embarrassing bodily functions that a human can experience, and it’s all on screen.  And somehow, for the story’s purpose, each one of these visceral eliminations provides an essential survival tool for Paul Dano, who plays a living man who is stranded on a desert island.  This dead body provides him with water, transportation, navigation tools, useful advice about dating women—all the essentials.  It is so weird.  I don’t know if I have much more to say about the movie other than you’d have to watch it for yourself to understand just how senseless it is.

I didn’t like this movie and I don’t recommend it.  Of course, that might just pique your interest even more.  If that’s the case, go right ahead and experience it for yourself.  That’s pretty much how I experience films.  I’m warned away from bad ones, but I still can’t resist.  But, my investigation this time led me to a bizarre, embarrassing movie about social awkwardness at best, and insanity at the worst.  Of course, there’s the novelty factor of watching Daniel Radcliffe performing a pretty convincing American accent (and humiliating himself publically).  That’s some good fun.  But, the rest just wasn’t interesting enough to make up for the strangeness.  Skip it.

Ghost in the Shell (2017) - A Worthwhile Remake

Movie: Ghost in the Shell (2017)

My Rating: 4 stars

I don’t know why people considered this movie to be such a bomb.  I guess it didn’t do nearly as well at the box office as was anticipated, but it’s not a bad movie.  In fact, I thought it did a pretty good job of sticking to a lot of the imagery and sensibility of the source material, while adding just enough differences to the plot to keep it interesting.  But people are famously hard to please.  And, I’m guessing the movie did poorly because not enough of the mainstream audience was familiar enough with the source anime to care about this live action remake.  And, perhaps some of the diehard fans didn’t want to support this American bastardization of their beloved franchise.

I’ll go on the record as saying that I liked this movie a lot.  I’m very familiar with the original Ghost in the Shell anime series, and I think the filmmakers did an excellent job reaching out to the old fans.  I’m one of them, and I always thought that the show and movies dealt with such interesting ideas, and did it so stylishly.  It’s one of our greatest pleasures as humans to imagine what kind of wonders the future of technology may hold.  And we’ve always been obsessed with making ourselves stronger, more beautiful, and longer lived.  I think the original creator of the series was remarkably prescient with his predictions about where the future of the internet and medicine might be headed.  And much of the visual imagery is just as creepy and unsettling as it is exciting.  Fans of the anime will recognize many exact images from the show—some of the most visually iconic scenes, character design, silhouettes of the skyline and aircrafts.  I was always a little creeped out by the rogue geisha-bots that were running amok in the animated series.  And in this movie, the art team turned them into sinister terrors that will haunt my nightmares forever.  That kind of uncanny valley material always unsettled me more than anything else.  Even as a child, I refused to let anyone bring their baby-dolls or Barbies near me.

Of course, this movie also made the news for what I think was a rather misguided accusation of racism.  People are claiming that this movie is yet another example of Hollywood whitewashing an Asian character.  I’m not saying that that isn’t a problem that exists.  It certainly does.  But, I think that anyone familiar with the story in Ghost in the Shell would understand that it doesn’t apply in this instance.  The protagonist in this story, whether it be Scarlett Johansson in this live action version or the animated character, isn’t a human, Japanese lady.  She’s a robot.  Yes, she started off as a Japanese lady whose mind was placed into a new robot shell.  But that body was always portrayed as a sexy, ethnically ambiguous creature, that was designed to be a tactical, killing machine.  And, this movie even specifically addresses that issue in a pretty satisfying way.  I think this is a case of people getting prematurely excited about skewering yet another big budget film for racism.  I know, it’s fun to act morally superior—especially when dealing with a target as easy as the American movie studio system.  But, I think if some of those critics actually watched the movie, they’d understand that their complaints are unfounded in this case.

I liked this movie, and I think people should see it.  And, this is coming from a person who was expecting to be disappointed.  I saw the 3D version in the theater, and I think this movie really is big and exciting enough to benefit from the 3D IMAX treatment.  But, you’ll probably enjoy it no matter how you view it.  The acting was pretty good.  I’m not typically a big Scarlett Johansson fan, but I think she did an admirable job in this role.  And you can always count on Beat Takeshi to deliver a solid performance as a cranky, yet tough, old coot.  But really, it’s the imagery and aesthetics that made this movie for me.  You’ll be blown away by the visuals.  So gorgeous!  And, so terrifying.  I accept that this is a pretty controversial remake.  So, I’d be interested in hearing back from other fans of the series.

Hell or High Water - A Modern Western

Movie: Hell or High Water

My Rating: 4 stars

I liked this movie a lot more than I was expecting too.  I don’t typically go in for Westerns.  And, while this movie was billed as a “modern” Western, I wasn’t entirely sure what that would mean in terms of adhering to, or departing from the classic tropes.  I guess I never really liked Westerns because the stakes never made much sense to me.  I’ve never been a craggy, old, lone-wolf, with nothing left to lose.  I’ve never been at a place in my life where it made more sense for me to sacrifice myself for the sake of making one last demonstration of honor.  Maybe it’s a guy thing.  Maybe it’s an old person thing.  Maybe it’s the kind of thing that only a chronically depressed person fantasizes about—becoming a legend as a martyr.  But, I’ve never really identified very much with that kind of character.

If you use these few items that I’ve listed as your criteria for what makes a classic Western film, then this movie really fits the bill.  A couple of brothers (Chris Pine and Ben Foster) are following a grueling schedule of robbing small credit unions all across Texas with the hopes of raising enough money to save Pine’s house from foreclosure.  But, what makes him your classic Western martyr is that this is now his ex-wife’s house.  He won’t directly benefit from saving the home.  But, he views himself as a bad person.  And, he’s of the opinion that no matter what happens to him, he can redeem himself by providing this last bit of security for his family.  So, while the setting and even a bit of the humor feel pretty modern, this is unquestionably a classic Western formula.

I enjoyed this movie a lot.  It isn’t the kind of thing I would have selected on my own, but I’d heard so many good opinions of it that I decided to give it a chance.  And, I’m glad I did.  The movie is simple, and streamlined, and tells a small-scale story in a very elegant way.  The acting is great, and the cinematography is pretty stunning.  I don’t think it was enough to make me want to go out and start checking out other Western movies, but I wasn’t disappointed that I’d taken the advice to watch this one.  I’d say, definitely rent this movie if you run across it.

Barbarella - Campy Fun

Movie: Barbarella

My Rating: 4 stars

This movie is a hoot!  But then, I think it was always intended to be just as ridiculous as I understood it to be.  As much as I love watching movies that are unintentionally hilarious, it’s also fun to see directors having a great time making purposefully and unapologetically comedic movies.  And, this movie is undoubtedly one of those.  I’d been aware of this movie for quite a while.  But, it was only after a recent prompting from my cousin that I decided to finally check it out for myself.  Or course, we’re all probably familiar with the concept of this classic exploitation film.  Or if not, we’ve at least all seen the images of Jane Fonda romping around in sexy furs or tiny jumpsuits with that gloriously teased-up, 70s style hairdo.  They’re iconic pictures. 

Jane Fonda plays Barbarella, a sexy space ranger of some sort.  She’s entrusted with the task of tracking down an evil scientist and neutralizing the risk he’s posing to the universe’s peace.  And, the campy tone is set immediately when we meet Barbarella writhing naked in zero gravity in the very first scene.  When she finally gets around to putting some clothes on, it’s of the futuristic, clear, molded plastic variety.  She’s been enjoying the peaceful silence and freedom of space, but duty ultimately calls her into the world of other people.  And naturally, the sexy romps begin as soon she begins to encounter other individuals in all the strange, new worlds she visits.  Characters are hilariously beautiful and virile, and scenarios are almost farcically erotic.  It’ll crack you up.  While I don’t think that sci-fi and sex comedies are traditionally the most compatible genres, this one seems to work.  But then, I guess the “science fiction” element in this film is pretty much limited to the outfits . . . and the fact that space is mentioned.

This is a very fun movie.  It’s definitely worth checking out sometime.  It’s silly and stupid, and you’ll have a fun time trying to guess what crazy outfit Jane Fonda is going to put on next.  And, I really think the movie is more about the comedy than the titillation factor.  It’s still probably not a movie you’d want to watch in mixed company.  You wouldn’t want your Nana to think you’re some kind of sex pervert, would you?    But, it’d be appropriate for a more lighthearted crowd.