My Film Habit

Haywire - Kicks Butt!

2012-01-29T11:00:00.000-05:00

Movie: Haywire

My Rating: 5 stars

I went and saw Haywire last night, and all I can say is thatthat movie is totally awesome. It’s oneof those films that gets you all riled up and inspires you to go out at takekickboxing lessons—men and women alike. That’s kinda cool. It was one ofmy friends that convinced a group of us to see this in the theater. I didn’t really know that much about it, andhe only billed it as a “lady MMA fighter movie.” I didn’t know if that meant it was going tobe a training movie, or an action movie, but it was enough to get meinterested.

It turned out to be an action thriller. It’s a story about a super-efficient, highlytrained, private defense contractor (the amazing Gina Carano). She works for some Blackwater-type operation,engaging in super risky, high-stakes, tactical missions—retrieving hostages,tracking dangerous war criminals—that sort of thing. She’s the best in the game, and all herpotential employers know it. But, on hermost recent operation it appears she’s been set up, and made to look like arogue agent. So, now she has to make herway home, figure out who betrayed her, all while trying to evade the law. And these aren’t your ordinary policeofficers. It’s those SWAT team guys,with those big, scary guns. It’s not theideal situation in which to find yourself. But, we’re dealing with one tough chick. She’s kicking butt and taking names almost from the very beginning ofthe film, and she doesn’t stop for very long in between. Carano is clearly doing her own stunts. It’s amazing to see the way her body movesafter having watched bubbly, little, Hollywood starlets pretending to domartial arts in movies my whole life. (Moveover Mila Jovovich—your ride’s over). Youcan tell the difference immediately when you see a real professional doingthese moves for the first time. Themuscle control is just completely different. It’s hypnotizing. And, since GinaCarano is an MMA fighter in real life, she’s not afraid to take some realshots. And, some of those body and faceblows look and sound alarmingly real.

This movie is so cool. It’s one of those ones that has you gushing about it to your friends assoon as the credits start to roll. Youknow the type—the kind that has the whole audience give a collective,“AAAAWWWWWW!” right at the end. It’sthat awesome. And, I can’t wait to seeCarano in more movies. And, after thatnow-legendary thigh-strangling scene, I’m sure there are plenty of men outthere who are thinking the same.

The Code - Indie Plug

2012-01-26T20:24:00.001-05:00

Check out this super-funny short horror comedy!

The Code - watch more funny videos

Filmmaker Taylor Brandt made this little number for Houston's Splatterfest Festival and he pulled in all kinds of awards for it. You can even spot him in the film as head zombie! It's only a few minutes long, so there's no reason not to take a peek.

Jesus People - Insultingly Funny

2012-01-25T20:11:00.000-05:00

Movie: Jesus People

My Rating: My Rating

So, this movie is the latest attempt to capitalize on thecomedic value of those wacky Born Again Christians. This one is an independent project that Iwatched on Prescreen. Oh, don’t get mewrong. Those guys are so bright-eyed andbushy-tailed that they provide endless opportunities for people to make fun. Plus, they’re pretty easy marks. But, when it’s just too easy, all the fun islost. Once you have one or twosuccessful films covering a particular topic, you know the copycats will bequick to follow. My favorite film inthis genre has got to be Saved. The tone of the humor is just right. The movie pokes fun at some of the hypocrisyyou find in some churches (or communities in general), without getting toomean-spirited. When criticism gets toougly and personal, I find that it tends to take away from the humor.

My problem with this film is that the message seems to get alittle too personal. Director, Jason Naumann, clearly has some beef with the church, and some of that hatred is reallyshowing through in the script. That’skind of a turn off. The movie ispresented in the form of a mockumentary that is tracking the progress of a newChristian rock band. This musical groupis the pet project of a small-town pastor who has just learned that he has a terminaldisease. This is his one last attempt togive back to the community, and to bring more people into the loving arms ofthe church. Of course this guy is aridiculous, blundering buffoon, so he botches these efforts quitethoroughly. Add that to the rag taggroup of semi-talented amateurs that he wrangles up to be in the group, and youhave some pretty crazy hijinks. Hilarityensues. There’s the innocent, devoutboy, the pretty, but talentless, beauty queen, the black youth pastor who wasadded for his “urban” flavor, and the washed up, middle-aged, disgraced popstar.

All this is a recipe for disaster. But these shenanigans look to me like thedirector just wanted to make a point about how delusional those kookyChristians are. The criticism just feelsa bit disrespectful, without any of the cleverness that would redeem it. Personal beliefs aside, when you see thiskind of venom being spat out in public, it’s a little off-putting. It’s more an issue of being polite andtactful toward those with whom you disagree. Plus, there’s something to be said for subtlety.

All of this is to say that this movie doesn’t have its goodpoints. Even though I didn’t end upliking the finished product, it does have a good amount of pretty funnyjokes. Naumann does make prettygood use of Wendi McLendon-Covey. And,she can always be counted on for some rowdy, irreverent fun. And, all the actors are really good atcomedic body language. That sort ofthing is hard to pull off. I wasn’t tooamazed by this film, but it’s an indie project, so I’m willing to cut it alittle slack. If you’re still interestedin seeing it, you can find it here.

Portlandia - Nostalgia for Generation Y

2012-01-22T14:14:00.000-05:00

Show: Portlandia

My Rating: 4 stars

I was really excited for this humorous sketch show based onthe advance version of the opening musical number I saw on Youtube. While I thought that the rest of the sketchesdidn’t really hold up to the strength of that first one, I still think the showis really funny and worthwhile. Thisshow comes to us from the great comedic minds of Fred Armisen and CarrieBrownstein, and the theme is the strange quirks and affectations that areunique to the lovely residents of Portland, Oregon. In the show, the residents are still holdingonto the whole grunge movement from the 90s, and have only adapted it veryslightly since then. This is a super funwalk down memory lane for anyone that came of age in the 90s like I did. They have all kinds of characters up there. There are the dirty hippies, the snobby,indie music aficionados, the uber-political-activists—and all of them are veryself-righteous about their own, little, chosen battlefields. For the most part, these two writers reallycapture the intensity of the Portland residents’ particular vanities, althoughsometimes the sketches do feel l little too self-conscious. But, that’s normal, I guess. In any sketch show there are always going tobe a handful that aren’t quite as successful as the others. But, the weaker ones are still anchored bysome really strong material, so the overall product is really enjoyable.

It’s also possible that some of my less-than-warm feelingstoward a few of the sketches stem from my tendency to watch this sort of show alittle faster that is ideal. The show isavailable for streaming now, but I watched it on DVD. This means that I felt a sort of artificialpressure to get through all the episodes in a few sittings, so that I couldreturn the rented disks. In retrospect,that was a mistake, and it definitely affected my enjoyment of theprogram. You can’t really enjoy comedywhen you’re feeling kinda tired and cranky (especially when the show is aboutdifficult people). So, I recommendslowing down and enjoying this show only a couple episodes at a time. And, now that you can stream themindividually, it’s much easier to do that. This is a must-see for anyone from Generation Y. Some of the references are so targeted towardpeople that were in high school during the whole grunge movement that I’m notsure that the Gen X-ers will really appreciate some of thespecific jokes. But, I think other partsof the show are still funny enough for a general audience

Stephen Fry in America - Delightful!

2012-01-19T20:33:00.000-05:00

Show: Stephen Fry in America

My Rating: 4 stars

Stephen Fry is such a delight! I’ve loved watching all his crazy comedyshows in the past—a little Jeeves and Wooster, A Bit of Fry and Laurie,and the more recent Kingdom. Those shows are pretty old now, but the humorstill holds up. So, I’ll watch justabout anything he’s involved in. When Ilearned about this fun, little show, there was no question about whether or notI was going to watch it. The idea seemspretty straightforward, but I can’t actually remember anyone doing it asadorably as Fry. Stephen Fry, a Britishman through and through, decides to make a tour of all fifty of the UnitedStates, one by one, in one of those lovely, black, English taxicabs. But, he doesn’t hit up all the most obvioustourist destinations in each state. Frytries to set his show apart a little bit from all the other travel shows bytrying to visit some of the quirkier, more unique sites. He is essentially attempting to discover theessence of America. I have to say thateven I learned a few new things about the United States, right along with him.

The material is presented in a series of TV-lengthepisodes. It’s pretty easy to get yourhands on them these days because they’re now available for streaming throughNetflix (although, when I watched the show, I still had to rent the individualdisks). And, the show runs at a prettysteady clip. There are only sixepisodes, so obviously Stephen is getting through a number of different statesin each fifty-nine minute episode. Thispace is ok for some of his least memorable stops along the way. For example, the visit to the Mason-DixonLine was a bit of a snoozer. But, whenFry visits some of the more interesting locations, I did wish he’d spend alittle more time with them. Ohwell. I guess he realized that mostviewers don’t have much patience for long, rambling pieces after a long, hardday at work. So, I guess the decision tomove through the states at a pretty quick pace was for the best. There area lot of them. But Stephen does spendenough time in each state to be sufficiently baffled by the variety of, andenthusiasm dedicated to American culture. He gets to pick at banjoes, work a commercial lobster boat, attend aninsanely wild Alabama football game, align his chakras with crystals in Arizona. . . . The list goes on, and StephenFry’s delicate British sensibilities are ruffled at every turn. Of course, he’s delighted by it all aswell. It’s pretty charming.

You should definitely check out this show. And, this one has a much broader appeal thanthe stuff I usually recommend. I admit,I sometimes try to push some pretty questionable material on my dearreaders. But, this show really isappropriate for just about all audiences. And, when Mr. Fry does decide to show viewers something a little shocking(North Carolina, I’m looking at you), he makes a point of warning viewers wellin advance.

Horror!

2012-01-17T20:57:00.000-05:00

Movie: Someone's Knocking at the Door

My Rating: 3 stars

Whoa! This movie ispretty graphic. I can’t honestly saythat I wasn’t expecting this. I foundthis movie while browsing Netflix’s more obscure horror titles. The synopsis they gave didn’t really give meenough information, though, so I went ahead and read some member reviewstoo. That means that I was pretty wellprepared for all the drugged-out hillbilly rape that this little title had instore. Although, the reviews did throwme off a little bit. The memberwrite-ups had me thinking that this was going to be somewhat of atongue-in-cheek, horror/comedy. But, Ithink what they meant to say was that this film is comedically bad. Because, it looks to me like the filmmakerwho created this little number (Chad Ferrin) was pretty serious about it. I bet he thought he had made a reallysuper-scary movie. Well, at least itisn’t the most delusional piece of independent filmmaking I’ve ever seen. No, that distinction still goes too Birdemicin my mind. This one is way higherquality. But, it’s still prettyridiculous.

The story in this little movie is about a handful of edgymedical students. These are the “bad”kids on campus—the ones that like to party a lot and do drugs. They especially like to experiment with someof the new controlled substances they’re learning about in their classes. So, one evening, these kids decide to sneakdown to a boarded up, old storage vault, where they can try out their newestinjectables while listening to recordings of some old, scary medical-hypnosissessions. The particular session theylisten to is of a pair of serial killer lovers, who liked to rape their victimsto death. It’s super creepy. And, before too long, these students startimagining really scary things. They starthearing noises, seeing strange movements at the end of long, dark hallways, andeven seeing hallucinations of this hillbilly couple (apparently come to killthem all). Are these visions leftoverside effects of the crazy new drug they tried? Or, are their worst nightmares actually coming true? Well, the bodies do start piling up, sosomething’s definitely going on.

This is definitely one of those films that’s only forserious horror fans. It’s a little toogrisly, a little too bare bones, and a little too earnest for the casualviewer. Sure, the final product is alittle laughable, but I think it’d only be funny to someone who has seen a fewtoo many of these things already. Andeven then, I’d only recommend this one if you find yourself with a couple ofhours to kill some random Sunday morning like I had. In retrospect, I’m not sure why this seemedlike the best choice at the time. All Ican say is that when you’re browsing the streaming options on Netflix, tryingto decide what you’re in the mood for, you know it when you see it.

I Am Comic

2012-01-14T11:18:00.000-05:00

Movie: I am Comic

My Rating: 4 stars

I’m really into standup comedy. It’s not just that I like to sit back andlaugh while some poor performer jumps through hoops on stage, trying toentertain me (although really, who wouldn’t like that?). I even like the idea of standup comedy, andI’m willing to watch just about any serious comedian work out his or her ideas,even if they aren’t totally polished yet. Of course, there will always be those hacks who just get up on stage andtell crappy knock-knock, or street jokes, and I’m not really into that sort ofthing at all. But, if a performer isreally interested in ideas, and is trying to work toward the abstract idea of“funny,” them I’m always interested in sitting and listening to that.

Nick Kroll

I suppose it’s a little snotty to claim that I have a goodsense of humor, so I’ll just say that I really enjoy comedy. I like hanging out around funny people andjoking around with them. And, I reallyappreciate a good bit—one of those ones that floors you with laughter becauseit’s simultaneously so true and so absurd. I especially like the ones that seem so obvious when you hear them, butthat you know you’d never have come up with if left to your own devices.

Kathy Griffin

This is why I was really interested in checking out thisdocumentary about the art of standup comedy by director Jordan Brady. Brady talks to tons of the best contemporaryperformers, so we really get a good feel for how they work, what it reallymeans to commit one’s life to the craft, and to some degree, the meaning ofcomedy. It’s really fascinating. These kids’ experiences working are so wildlydifferent from mine. They’re out workingon the road, and they sometimes don’t even head off to work until 10pm. It’s the total opposite of the normal officeworker’s day. These performers have tobe tough as nails—if not for the grueling schedule, then for the drunk,hillbilly hecklers they have to face so often. I really admire this sort of fortitude because I certainly could neverdo it, being the delicate soul that I am. The most interesting part of this documentary is how many comediansBrady got to weigh in on the subject of their careers. Although, I guess I shouldn’t be at allsurprised. If there’s one thing thatstandups love, it’s talking bout themselves.

Jim Gaffigan

This documentary is a must see for anyone who is interestedin comedy (as an idea). I think it’s avery accurate portrayal of what it means to be a standup these days. There has been a sort of renaissance in thecomedy industry lately. After the hugecomedy boom in the 80s, it really seemed to drop off for a while in the90s. But, I think the internet hasbrought the art back in a big way, and I’m glad I’m around to enjoy it. I’m even tempted to watch this movieagain. The documentary is so rich incontent that it probably requires a few viewings to catch everything.

Crazy, British Fun

2012-01-11T21:51:00.000-05:00

Show: The Mighty Boosh

My Rating: 4 stars

Here’s another delightful British comedy. But, this one is far more light-hearted andwhimsical than Snuff Box. But, itfeatures many of the same hilarious comedians – Rich Fulcher, Matt Berry, thewriting of Richard Ayoade. Plus, it hasplenty of my favorites from other shows too, like Noel Fielding (from The IT Crowd). Julian Barrett and Noel Fielding work at azoo, and they have to deal with all kinds of unbelievable shenanigans—from theanimals, of course, but also from many of the other workers. The themes of this show are surreal andfantastic (with just enough mod style thrown in to keep it cool). And, are plenty of supernatural hijinks to keepthings interesting. Our heroes go on allkinds of wild journeys to track down mystical objects, or to just save oneanother from imminent bodily harm—all while wearing snazzy silver jumpsuits andcowboy hats (or other similarly crazy outfits). It’s pretty wild material.

I probably wouldn’t have selected this show to watch if itweren’t for all the comedians involved. It’s a little bit outside the normal range of material I go for. This humor is very mischievous and spritely,and I tend to go for comedy that is a little more dry and clever. But, the show does feature all the sameabsurdity we’ve come to know and love from these guys. Plus, it’s always fun to see what yourfavorite artists will create when they collaborate with other people that maybe a little outside your normal sphere of interests. This is a great way to discover newmaterial. And, it’s pretty much how I delveinto new territories—with these tangential offshoots of works I alreadyenjoy. That’s probably also why I tendto go off on thematic jaunts.

So, I definitely recommend checking out this show if you’rein the mood for something a little light-hearted and nonsensical, or if youjust enjoy British humor. But, the showis certainly not something you should approach if you’re in an even slightlyintolerant mood, because the silliness does tend to take over quite a bit. So, to really enjoy the show, it does requirethat you be in a generally generous mood when you watch it. But, put in the effort. It’s really a fun time, and it’d be a shameto miss.

Another Winner

2012-01-09T19:16:00.001-05:00

Show: Snuff Box

My Rating: 5 stars

I’ve been watching a lot of comedy shows lately. And, this is one of the best I’ve come acrossin a really long time. I really loveMatt Berry and Rich Fulcher’s work from other shows—The IT Crowd, The MightBoosh—they’re all really good. Hey, myfavorite, Richard Ayoade even makes a couple of brief cameos! You can’t beat credentials like that. But, this show is a lot darker theothers. It’s packed to the gills withthe blackest gallows humor and raunchiest sex jokes you’ll ever see on TV. It’s no wonder this is a British production,even though it is a joint, British/American effort. We just can’t get away with that sort ofthing here in the United States with how sensitive everyone seems to be thesedays.

This show really explores the dark, absurd corners of humanexistence. Berry and Fulcher fullyembrace all kinds of questionable roles, like super-casual executioners, racist,womanizing, British aristocrats, small animal killers—and they get into allkinds of disfiguring accidents. Thefilth doesn’t let up. And, it’s great! The funniest part is that these two comediansplay all the raunchy material so casually that you almost don’t evennotice. I think everybody needs sometime to wallow in the morbid, absurd side of life once in a while. Humor doesn’t have to be all buttercups andstrawberry pop-tarts all the time. People are kinda jerks sometimes. And remarkably, the worst offenders are always the first to claim thatthey’re good people. The fact that mostpeople don’t see the irony in that is super funny. Berry and Fulcher’s comedy isn’t just aboutsimple body-humor or lowest-common-denominator fare. You actually have to be a thinking person toreally get this sort of twisted material. And, I love that it’s not accessible to everyone. I’m surprised that anyone ever enjoys thebland stuff that’s designed not to offend the general public’ssensibilities. When a comedian stopstrying to make everyone like him, that’s when he can really just run with themost awesome, obscure ideas.

Needless to say, this show isn’t for everyone. I’d say thatif you enjoyed Matt Berry’s particular performance in The IT Crowd, this show maybe up your alley. He really captured thespirit of the unrepentant, frivolous pervert with that role. And, that’s pretty much what you’ll get withthis series. I highly recommend it ifyou think you have a sense of humor that is similar to mine—you know, deadpanand a little twisted. If not, stick withsomething a little tamer.

Holiday Blockbuster

2012-01-07T11:00:00.000-05:00

Movie: Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

My Rating: 4 stars

Here’s another fun movie for the holiday season. I didn’t find the sequel to be nearly asexciting as the first movie, but that may be because I kinda knew what toexpect. The first one was such a cooland different, new spin on the old, stodgy Sherlock Holmes stories, and I wasvery impressed. Well, it’s not that thestories were dull. It’s just thatprevious interpretations of them have been a bit dry in the past. But, you can only be surprised by a new ideaonce. Plus, since seeing the first movie,I also got to watch the new, modern-day Sherlock TV series. That show is also pretty awesome, by theway. But, I knew to expect something alittle thrilling and edgy, with a wee bit of dark humor thrown in for goodmeasure.

Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law are really hilarioustogether. Downey has always had a sortof rakish charm, but I think Jude Law really came into his own in thesefilms. I find him way funnier when he’splaying the uptight, exasperated sidekick, as opposed to the smooth leadingman. But, best of all, these two actorsreally work as these characters. They’vegot the right mix of competence and eccentricity between them, and it’s reallyentertaining. You can’t always trustcasting directors to make the right decisions. Sometimes they are way more interested in bankable names than actors whoare really right for a particular role. I’m wondering if this has anything to do with why the producers decidedto edge out Rachel McAdams. I thoughtshe was pretty sassy as Irene Adler, and they totally could have kept heraround. She only makes the briefestappearance in the beginning of the movie before being quickly disposed of. I’m not sure whether the decision to can herwas a political decision, or a story-based one. Who knows? Maybe she wassomething of a third wheel while they were introducing a new, mysterious loveinterest with Noomi Rapace.

This is a super fun movie, and it’s definitely worth seeingin the theater. In this episode,Sherlock goes up against the evil Dr. Moriarti, his most infamousopponent. That means that this mystery abit more of a challenge than last time, and Sherlock doesn’t always have theupper hand. This makes for a lot moreexcitement and suspense. Definitelycheck it out.

Indie Plug

2012-01-04T18:24:00.000-05:00

Film: Santa's Workshop

Here’s a very impressive independent documentary about thefactory workers in China who make many of the toys and other gifts you may haveexchanged this holiday season. LottaEkelund directs this documentary, and she focuses on the long hours, and the sometimesdangerous conditions these workers endure. It’s a European production, so the point of view is a little differentfrom my American one. For example, thefilmmakers are pretty adamant that no worker would ever want to work anyovertime hours. That’s something we’repretty used to in the United States, and a phenomenon with which I amparticularly well acquainted. So, there area few specific ideas set forth by this film that I disagreed with. But of course, these factory workers aren’tmerely enduring ten or fifteen extra hours or work a week. It’s often far more, and they are almost forced to do it, or risk losing the job. And, the work conditions are particularlygrueling. It’s heat combinedwith physical labor, and dangerous moving machinery parts. That’s a recipe for accidents. This is a pretty short documentary. It runs only thirty-two minutes, and you canview the whole thing online here. I highly recommend you take some time to check out this fascinatingindie film.

Tom Cruise Redeems Himself

2012-01-03T11:00:00.000-05:00

Movie: Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

My Rating: 4 stars

I have to admit it. Ienjoyed this movie way more that I was expecting to. I was kinda boycotting Tom Cruise’s crazy fora while there, but I think he must have hired a new PR person, because wehaven’t seen the worst of it for a while now. So, when I heard overwhelmingly positive reviews of this movie, Idecided that maybe it was time to loosen up my embargo. This is a pretty exciting movie. It has all the action, intrigue, and flashy technologyyou’ve come to expect from the Mission Impossible franchise—and all the ridiculouslytight deadlines and plunging décolletages, too. But, this installment also serves up a little humor with all theexcitement as well. That’s because theydecided to feature Simon Pegg a little more heavily in this episode. I do love Simon Pegg. That guy is pretty hilarious, and I’ll watchjust about everything he appears in.

However, I did a few die-hard fans grumbling about howMission Impossible isn’t supposed to be a comedy. But, you know what? Adding comedy to a previously seriousfranchise doesn’t bother me too much. Ithink it’s necessary for an ongoing series to adapt with the times if it wantsto remain successful. And, we are in amore light-hearted, self-referential era now. Plus, I don’t think the comedy in this film cheapens the thrills orsuspense at all. You kinda need a breakfrom all the non-stop, nail-biting tension, you know? Plus, I think the movie-going public is donewith taking Tom Cruise too seriously. This was the perfect way to keep Tom as the top-billed star of these films,while acknowledging his changed status in the public’s opinion. Although, this movie did remind me howimpressive of an actor Tom Cruise really is. Maybe he should stick to his work, and stop focusing on being a “celebrity”so much.

I’m not really a big fan of action thrillers. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoythem. I just don’t make a point ofkeeping up to date on the newest releases, or going out and seeing them in thetheaters all that often. But, I had justheard too many good things about this one to ignore it. And, I can affirm that the movie islegitimately pretty cool. There aredefinitely plenty of scenes that will get your heart pounding and theadrenaline flowing. The large format andsurround sound of the movie theater definitely adds to the experience, so I’dhighly recommend seeing it that way if you get the chance.

Sexy, Scary Fun

2012-01-01T11:00:00.000-05:00

Movie: Fright Night (2011)

My Rating: 5 stars

This is a pretty awesome movie. I never saw the original, so I don’t know howwell it tracks the old story. But, thisnew version is pretty exciting. It’s avery simple vampire story, with relatively few twists or turns in theplot. Anton Yelchin plays a high schoolkid who starts to notice a lot of fishy things going on in his town. He puts the pieces together and realizes thathis new neighbor (Colin Farrell) is a vampire. They live in Las Vegas, which is a perfect place for a vampire to liveundetected. He can pose as one of thosecasino workers who works all nights, then needs to black out his windows tosleep all day. Farrell has alreadypicked off a few of Yelchin’s friends, and now he’s coming after his mom andgirlfriend. This has to stop. So our plucky protagonist seeks the help ofLas Vegas’ resident vampire slayer (David Tennant). Tennant plays a sleazy, drunk, lounge lizard,who stars in an over-the-top, sexy, vampire stage show, that serves as a coverfor his real activities. And, thoseactivities would be kicking demon butt, of course.

This movie is really quick paced and exciting. It doesn’t take too long for the action toget started, so the story never drags. And, it stars tons of the sexiest, young actors and actresses in thebusiness. That sort of thing neverhurts—unless you have these gorgeous creatures doing ridiculously unrealisticthings. It’s never believable when youhave some waify starlet suddenly becoming a master of Kung Fu. But, director Craig Gillespie keeps things asplausible as you can get for a supernatural horror film. The best part of all, though, is thateveryone’s got a really good sense of humor about the whole project. It’s not a goofy, silly movie. But, Gillespie does bring a fair amount ofcheekiness to the film. My favorite line? Yelchin: "I'm going to kill a vampire." Shopkeeper: "Good for you, son." This sauciness is probablya little wink to all the fans of the original movie.

You should definitely see this movie if you’re into horrorfilms at all. This isn’t one of thosehard-core, carnage-fests. It’s very tameas far as these things go. You do see a fair amount of blood in thismovie. We are dealing with vampires after all. But, it’s mainly in the form of splatter thatflies into the shot from out of frame. And, there’s pretty much no gore at all. The movie does contain plenty of suspenseful and startling moments, butI’m pretty sure this movie is ok for wimpy people. Perfect for a Halloween party or date. I really enjoyed this one a lot. It’s the perfect blend of, light, sexy, scaryfun.

One-Star Bonanza

2011-12-30T11:00:00.000-05:00

Movie: Original Sin

My Rating: 1 star

Geez! Could you get any cheesier than this? Antonio Banderas and Angelina Jolie sexing itup all over some old-timey coffee plantation—like some how the fancy, perioddress classes it up so that this isn’t just some trashy, Harlequin romancenovel? But, maybe that was the wholepoint. Maybe the movie studio was tryingto appeal to the frustrated, middle-aged housewife demographic. Those ladies have got some time on theirhands in the middle of the day. And, asteamy, soft-core porno set in an exotic locale like Cuba might be just thething to capture some of those untapped dollars. But of course, this movie was a hugeflop. Silly movie executives! I think their crucial miscalculation was thatmovie theaters don’t serve mid-afternoon rose wine, and handfuls oftranquilizers. (Although, most theatersare boozing it up these days). So, thetarget market for this movie was probably all staying home with their “relaxationaids” to watch their soaps from the comfort of their living rooms.

So, this is a pretty ridiculous story. A wealthy plantation owner (Banderas) sendsaway for a homely (but supposedly obedient) mail-order bride. But, when his intended arrives, she turns outto be a total fox (Jolie). Naturally, theyfall instantly in love. It all seems toogood to be true, so needless to say, it is. Banderas needs to decide whether he is ok living with a wife that seemsto have so many dark secrets in her past. But, he’ll wait to decide this important question after a few morerounds of steamy marital relations. And, lots of gratuitous nudity. Whynot? It’s your classicbodice-ripper. You couldn’t write atrashier story if you tried.

I’m not really sure why I watched this movie. It’s not like the trailers or promotionalmaterials were hiding how cheesy this movie is. But, the Netflix streaming service just makes it so easy to watchterrible films without feeling guilty. There’s just no risk. If you hatea streaming film, you can just turn it off without having wasted a shipment ofa film you really wanted to see. I guessthis movie just looked too hilarious to pass up. The acting is absolutely atrocious! How did these people become A-listactors? Sure, they’re beautiful, buttheir acting looks like it’s out of some terrible community theater play (exceptthat the subject matter is a little more risqué). I don’t think director Michael Cristofer wastrying to be ironic. Hey, this movie wasmade way before the whole hipster thing came into fashion (2001). So, maybe the studio just figured that it hadenough big names associated with this project to make some money. Hey, mycuriosity definitely got the better of me. Just don’t let it happen to you.

Modern Times

2011-12-28T11:00:00.000-05:00

Movie: Last Train Home

My Rating: 4 stars

Here’s another film that I was sure I’d reviewedalready. I didn’t watch it quite as longago as Pan’s Labyrinth, but it’s still been some time. And, this is actually a film that I thinkabout on a pretty regular basis. The documentaryjust has so much to say about this new world we’re living in with the neweconomy and consumer culture taking over. Plus, it has some pretty interesting points about the relationshipbetween today’s youth generation that was born into this scene, and theirparents, who have more traditional values and life goals. There will always be some conflict betweenthe different generations, but it feels to me like the clash featured in thisstory is particularly dramatic. Therehave been so many technological advances in these kids’ lifetimes with theinternet, wireless technology, and social networking, and this has driven afair amount of social change as well. Wehave information at our fingertips now, and we can connect to other people whomay share our more obscure interests, even if they live half a world away. I think this has created a youth culture thatisn’t so concerned with privacy as their parents are, and one that feels likethey don’t have to conform to the narrow life path that their guardians thoughtwas necessary.

I’m making this description sound like it’s about a bunch ofsnotty, American kids, but it turns out that this phenomenon is also going onin China (and probably a lot of other places as well). This documentary shows an interesting, newfamily dynamic in a China that is fueling the world’s appetite for cheapconsumer products. Since we’ll buy thesegoods as fast as China churns them out, there is a huge demand for factoryworkers. Although, since there’s also ahuge supply of people to fill those roles, wages are also pretty low. But, this has created a family dynamic whereparents leave their kids with grandma and grandpa, and head to the city to makesome money. The result is a generationof kids who don’t really know their parents, and don’t really care what theythink (more than your typical, surly teen). Families reunite once a year during the chaotic Chinese New Year, andthey have to compete with the millions of other people who are also trying toget train tickets home. You’ve neverseen such mayhem. Sometimes it takesseveral days to finally squeeze onto a train, and people have to wait at thestation the whole time. It looks somiserable. Parents make this sacrificeof living apart because they want a better life for their families. They want their kids to stay in school, sothat they don’t have to compete in this unskilled labor market with themillions of other participants. But, thekids are attracted to the lights of the city, and the allure of quickmoney. Why would they want to waste timewith school in their little, country, farm towns when there are night clubs andhair salons to go visit?

This is one of those really interesting documentaries, wherethe viewers aren’t really sure whether they like any of the people in it. The parents are aggressive and inflexible,and the kids are impetuous and contrarian. Everyone is a little too stubborn for their own good, but really, whoisn’t? It’s really fascinating to seeall these changes that America has gone through, also happening in anothercountry. But, it’s also a littlefrustrating watching these people clash over and over again, because you knowthey’ll never budge an inch. Still, Ihighly recommend it.

Terrifying Fantasy

2011-12-26T11:00:00.000-05:00

Movie: Pan's Labyrinth

My Rating: 5 stars

I can’t believe I hadn’t written about this moviealready. It’s one of my favorites, and Ihad already started writing this blog when I saw it. Perhaps it’s because I saw it in thetheater. I generally keep track ofmovies I want to write about through my Netflix account. Anything I watch outside of that, I have tonote by hand. And, sometimes Iforget. Or, maybe this is such a big,important film, that I had assumed I’d already covered it. Oh well. Better late than never.

Director Guillermo del Toro is pretty awesome. He’s got an uncanny understanding of how thefantasy genre works—how it should be equal parts fantastical andgrotesque. This film creates awonderful, magical world full of fairies, magic spells, wood sprites . . . andsome of the most terrifying, hideous monsters you’ve ever seen in yourlife. There really are some truly scarymoments in this film, and plenty of opportunities for danger. But then, most fairy tales do too. It’s funny how we forget just how bloody andviolent most of these old children’s stories are. I think the comparison between this movie anda fairy tale is appropriate because it has essentially the same formula. A young girl, Ofelia, is going with hermother to live with her new (evil) stepfather. The story is set during the Spanish Civil War, and her new dad is ahigh-ranking officer on the side of the bad guys. (I’m ashamed to say that I’m a little fuzzyon the details of that war). Plus, thisguy is just a nasty guy in general. Inorder to escape this chaotic, new family life, and the general hardships causedby the war, Ofelia likes to escape into an elaborate fantasy world, althoughthis new world of hers doesn’t really have any less danger or horrific thingsin it. But, I think the key is that inthis imaginary world, Ofelia has the tools to over come the forces of evil—aseries of magical tasks that only she can complete. Whereas, in the real world she is powerless.

You really have to see del Toro’s aesthetic to understandit. He works with such rich colors andexotic sets, and he’s a master of creating totally alien, otherworldly visualeffects. You can’t miss it when you seeit elsewhere, like in the Hellboy sequel. But, the look is so foreign that you can never really feel comfortablein it. You always feel some menacingdanger lurking just around the next corner. But, this makes for a pretty exciting viewing experience. You really don’t want to skip thismovie. Although, it’s been out so longthat chances are, you’ve already seen it. But, if you haven’t, please accept my endorsement.

Windbags

2011-12-24T11:00:00.000-05:00

Movie: The Red Chapel

My Rating: 2 stars

I think North Korea has become the latest culturalequivalent of Mount Everest. It’s becomea tourist destination for wealthy Westerners who want to be seen asadventuresome and edgy. And, just aboutall of these travellers make sure to document their subversive exploits bymaking semi-secret documentaries about the whole thing. Of course, since the North Korean cultural exchangegoons carefully controls the sights that foreigners have access to, all thesedocumentaries end up looking almost identical to one another. Still, it’s possible to distinguish betweenthe different films when it comes to technical skill and overall concept. Various filmmakers are probably hoping to accomplishdifferent things with their films, even if the Koreans are marching them pastall the same monuments to their dear leader. Some are attempting to show the poor conditions these people are livingin, or the country’s outdated technology. Others focus on the stress the people are living with as they are forcedto slap a smile on their faces and give their little speeches about how muchthey love the place—all while fearing that if they slip up just a little,they’ll be dragged out of their homes in the middle of the night and forced tolabor in some salt mine.

Many of the visitors have good intentions. But Mads Brugger? It seems like he’s more interested in showinghow provocative and brave he is, regardless of the consequences. And, the consequences of shaking things up inNorth Korea are bad. Brugger keepstrying to slip his lefty ideas past his state-mandated chaperones—recitingliberal poems at revered statues, playing popular Western songs with his guitarfor large audiences, refusing to alter the creative integrity of the play he’s stagingfor some university students. And, youcan see these chaperones getting more and more nervous by the moment, becauseultimately if the government decides that this visit was a problem, it’s theirheads that will roll. It’s kind of ajerky move, and pretty self-centered. MadsBrugger brought a pair of Korean-Danish comedians along with him to perform afun little play for a carefully screened audience. They will perform the play for the censors,and accept any “suggestions” they may have in order to make the play a littlemore “appropriate.” But, Brugger isdetermined to be very stubborn in an effort to provoke the government officialsinto some sort of aggressive display.

But, he doesn’t even really accomplish his goal verywell. Brugger doesn’t succeed in settingany examples, changing any minds, or demonstrating how evil North Koreais. He mainly just succeeds interrorizing his poor travel companions. He really stresses out his “accomplices” by demanding that theyparticipate in his game long after they beg to be let off the hook. Needless to say, Brugger doesn’t come offvery well. I think this says somethingabout his general level of self-awareness. There are plenty of other, excellent documentaries about North Korea outthere (like, A State of Mind). I’d recommend sticking to some of those, andgiving this one a skip.

Follow Me

2011-12-22T11:00:00.000-05:00

Just a reminder, if you're on Twitter, follow me: @FilmHabitTweets! Yay!

Excuses for Nudity

2011-12-21T11:00:00.000-05:00

Movie: The Names of Love

My Rating: 4 stars

Wow. I always forgetjust how raunchy French movies can be. They always manage to fit a little gratuitous nudity into any storyline,no matter how sweet and innocent it may be. Not that this story is very pure or chaste. It’s a story about a radical, left-wing,feminist, Baya, who tries to convert right-wingers to her way of thinking bysleeping with them, and whispering sweet, little, ideological, nothings intotheir ears during their most “vulnerable” moments. She’s half French, half Algerian, and shehates the snobby, pureblood French mentality. And, she’s going to teach these bigots a lesson by sexing the hate outof them, one by one. Yeah, she’s kind oftrampy. But, maybe that’s just howFrench people do things. Because, thisstory is presented in the package of a perky, little romantic comedy.

Baya is first attracted to the straight-laced Arthur becauseshe thinks he’s another conservative, haughty, French, target to flip. But, then she discovers that he’s a liberaljust like she is. Not only that, he’salso half Jewish. Arthur just seemsconservative because he’s from an uptight, puritanical family. Naturally, Baya starts falling for him. But, seeing how he was raised, Arthur isn’tcompletely on board with Baya’s profession of choice. She’s just so loud, and brassy, and somehowmanages to expose her lady parts in public a little more often than is sociallyacceptable (even for Europe). Still,Baya is very beautiful, and Arthur is a man, so he has a hard time saying no toa naked lady. And, she gets naked awhole lot in this movie. In fact, itseems like the whole story was written as an excuse to get this pretty girlnude as many times as possible.

This is a pretty light, frivolous movie. Not much of real import ever happens, andthere are very few serious moments. Still, the movie is pretty enjoyable (for obvious reasons). Everyone in the movie has those slim,European, good looks (even if we do suspect they may not have bathed veryrecently). And, the story is full of whimsical frolics. Overall, I recommend it. But, be warned. There’s tons of sex and full-frontal nudity,so it’s probably not something you want to screen while the whole family isover for Thanksgiving dinner. And, Ithink it’s a bad idea as a date movie too. These characters are just too attractive and sexy. It’d do a number on your self-esteem. But, it’s a fresh bit of cinematic cottoncandy—perfect for if you’ve been overdoing the zombie thrillers a little bit.

Poor Saps

2011-12-19T11:00:00.000-05:00

Movie: Love Translated

My Rating: 4 stars

Now, this is an interesting documentary. It’s one of those ones that has you yellingat the TV screen for how exasperating all the “characters” in it are. But, they aren’t really characters. This film tells the story of real people—verysad, pathetic people. This documentaryis about the pitiful, sleazy men that pay a lot of money to go on “bride tours”of the Ukraine. They pay thousands ofdollars to be bussed around Odessa, visiting nightclubs, beauty pageants, andrestaurants. While on the tour, thesemen can meet Ukrainian women who are interested in marrying a Western man. These guys haven’t had much luck with love intheir home countries, so they join these tours hoping to bring back a tall,blond, “family oriented” (read subservient) woman to be their wives. These men come from all kinds of differentcountries—Canada, the United States, Sweden, France—but all of them are Western. And, they all have different reasons forbeing on the tour. Some of them arepainfully shy and have a hard time talking to the career girls back athome. Others have been through nastydivorces, and have soured on uppity Western women, with all their book larnin’and self-esteem. And, some are justperverts—those creepy guys with greasy hair, who stare at teenage girls’ legsjust a little too long.

The reasons for paying tons of money to join a Ukrainianmatchmaking service are diverse, but all of these guys have one thing incommon. All the guys in this film seemto find women to be these baffling, exotic, interchangeable creatures. And, they want to get their hands on one—anyone. It doesn’t really matter whichstatuesque, blonde beauty they bring home, since they won’t be able to talk totheir new bride anyway. As long as theyhave a hot little number to parade past their ex-wives—or to bring along totheir forty-year high school reunion. That’s right. Most of these guysare about forty years older than the nubile, little, eighteen-year-old girlsthat are members of this matchmaking club. So, it’s no surprise that most of these girls end up accepting freedinners, drinks, and gifts from these elders, but decide they should “get toknow each other better over the internet” instead of going home together whenit comes to the end of the tour. I don’tthink that all these girls are out to scam the men from the get go. Maybe some of them really are interested infinding love. But, it’s hard to getexcited about starting a new life with someone who is older than your ownfather, and who doesn’t even speak your language. All in all, this film is a pretty interestingglimpse into the minds of people you might not run into all that often. But, I think it also has something to sayabout human nature in general.

Tough Chick

2011-12-17T22:02:00.000-05:00

Movie: Hanna

My Rating: 3 stars

This is a pretty cool movie. I knew I wanted to see it as soon as I saw the trailer. A story about a badass chick, kicking buttand taking names—you can’t get much better than that in my opinion. Plus, I’m a huge fan of Saoirse Ronan. She’s an awesome actress, and she alwaysbrings something a little different to the table. I’m not quite sure what it is. Maybe it’s her confidence. She’s a girl who isn’t afraid to look you inthe eye. Or, maybe it’s her unflinchingpoker face. Any way you look at it,she’s the perfect actress to play the part of the half feral, survivalist chickwho’s on a revenge mission. She’s outfor blood, and she’s going to get it. The scariest part is how she’ll just casually snap her enemies’ necks,showing no emotion in those icy, blue eyes. This is business—no place for anything wimpy like emotions.

But, this isn’t really a scary movie or anything. It’s more of your standard thriller. Eric Bana plays a man who has been raisinghis daughter Hanna (Ronan) in some isolated, arctic hideaway. He’s a little eccentric, and has beenteaching her all the basics of surviving in the wild—making a fire, killing andskinning caribou, avoiding ambush, close quarters, hand-to-hand combat—all thenormal stuff a dad teaches his daughter. But, dad has taught his little girl surprisingly little aboutinterpersonal skills or communicating with others like a normal person. But hey, he needs Hanna to complete amission, and nothing should get in the way of that. Hanna is supposed to exact revenge on theevil FBI agent (Cate Blanchett) who killed her mother. You don’t need silly communication skills todo that sort of thing.

So, I did think this movie was pretty cool, although this isdefinitely one of those films where you pretty much get the whole story fromthe trailer. And, the trailer is editedto be more exciting, too. So the actualprocess of sitting through the slow pacing of the movie was a little bit of alet down for me. This is especially thecase since the movie doesn’t really add much new to the story, like characterdevelopment, plot twists, or visual thrills that we didn’t see before. That part was kind of a bummer. The trailer is supposed to let you know whyyou’ll want to go see a film, not give you all the highlights from it. Oh well. It was a valiant effort. But, ifyou’re going to spend this kind of money making a big budget thriller, wouldn’tyou want to make sure it had legs?

School Blues

2011-12-14T11:00:00.000-05:00

Movie: Fat Girls

My Rating: 2 stars

I don’t know what I was expecting from this movie. Maybe not very much, because I wasn’t allthat disappointed with it. Bit, “notmuch” is exactly what I got out of the film. This movie is about as predictable as any other, run-of-the-mill, gay,coming of age film you’ll find on the market. And, I’ve seen a lot of them. Maybe that was the trouble. Eachnew generation of awkward, gay teens is going to need one of these movies tohelp let them know that while high school may be a huge drag, there are bigger,more exciting things out there. But,these kids might not have watched all the previous versions of this story (likeI have), and may not realize that it’s the same story over and over again, justwith a different cast.

This iteration is about the rather dumpy, ungraceful Rodney,and his equally large-and-in-charge best girl friend Sabrina. These two kids call themselves “fat girls,”but this label has more to do with their personalities and outlook on life thanhow they look on the outside. All differentkinds of people could theoretically fall into this “fat girl” category. Rodney never defines the term, but I thinkthis personality type has something to do with people who have given up caringabout the superficial things that high schoolers are obsessed with, and whofeel free to pursue their real interests, even if they may be considered uncool. This philosophy is a little liberating, butit does alienate these friends a bit from their peers. Worse, it also invites the sort ofunrelenting harassment that only insecure teenagers are cruel enough to engagein. But, these guys are going to makeit. They know that a world ofopportunity awaits them in some, big, coastal city. Whereas, the idiot football players andshallow cheerleaders can really only look forward to getting knocked up atseventeen and pumping gas for the rest of their lives in this backward hicktown. And, that’s what keeps ourprotagonists going—a mix of hope for their futures, and some good,old-fashioned schadenfreude for their mean peers. It’s not much, but it’s pretty much whatunpopular students have relied on for decades.

This movie isn’t bad by any means. It’s got a pretty strong, universal messagefor downtrodden kids living in the crazy Bible Belt (and it has a sense ofhumor about these fervent religious types). But, it really isn’t anything very remarkable. I’ve seen this same story a hundred timesbefore, and this version isn’t significantly different or better than any ofthe others. I guess there’s someone outthere to whom this movie would really speak, but it would have to be someonewho was very fresh to the genre. But,with all the entertainment we have access to these days, I’d save your valuablemovie-watching time slot for something a little more exceptional.

Sklarbros Attack

2011-12-12T11:00:00.000-05:00

Movie: Held Up

My Rating: 4 stars

I normally don’t have any patience for web series’. I always feel like I need to sit down with mycomputer and watch them all in one sitting once the whole thing is completed(or wait for it to be available through Netflix), because I don’t trust myselfto remember to come back to the website to check for updates. But, I was willing to make an exception forthe Sklar Brothers. Those guys are sofunny, and I’d watch anything they created. Plus, once I started watching this show, I realized that it stars tonsof other, hilarious comedians that I love—Jon Dore, Tig Notaro, Maria Bamford,Steve Agee, Sean Tillman. It’s awesome. The basic premise is that a pair of bankrobbers is holding up a small branch bank. But, before they can get away, another pair of inept robbers (the SklarBros) shows up to do the very same thing. The resulting chaos wastes so much time that the local police, the statepolice, and the National Guard have all had time to arrive on the scene, creatinga very tense (yet comedic) hostage situation. To make matters worse, the hostages are all pretty uppity anddemanding. And, once that StockholmSyndrome starts to set in, the robbers are going to have an even harder timeconcentrating with all the sexual advances the hostages are start to make.Naturally, hilarity ensues.

This is a pretty easy web series to consume in onesitting. There are fifteen episodes, buteach one is only about six minutes long, so the whole thing isn’t longer thanyour average movie. I do find the formatof having to watch each episode separately to be a little annoying. I’m easily distracted, so I likeconsolidating all my entertainment in one location that will remind me what Ihaven’t watched yet. But, really, I’mjust glad that this sort of comedy series is available to stream on theinternet. I love that all this awesomecontent is so readily available these days, so I’m not going to complain toomuch. Plus, if I were patient (again,not one of my strongest suits), this series would probably show up on Netflixsooner or later anyway. I highlyrecommend that you head over to Crackle.com to check out. It features so many of my favorite comicsthat it’s a nice, compact way to get a heavy dose of their quirky, slightlyrude humor. I learned about it becausethe Sklars were pitching it on their comedy podcast. Incidentally, that’s another piece ofentertainment that you should probably subscribe to.