My Rating: 3 stars
This movie is garbage. But, I think we all know by now that I’m not above a good roll in the dumpster. Heck, I enjoy it! I’ll prepare myself some of my favorite trash food—Hot Pockets, boxed macaroni, or perhaps some cheese popcorn if I’m feeling ritzy—and pop one of these abominations on the screen. It’s an evening gloriously free of any kind of value or substance. And, I’m not even going to claim that I feel guilty about it. Because, I love this stuff. I love the pink wigs, the sparkles, the leather, the face paint. This can’t be a surprise to any of you.
I wasn’t really old enough in the 80s to have watched the TV show that this movie is based on. Of course, I was aware of the characters with their cotton-candy hair and puffy 80s prom dresses. And, I was vaguely aware that the show was supposed to be about some sort of girl band. But, I don’t think I’d ever watched a whole episode through. But, that didn’t affect my decision to rent this movie. The outfits were enough for me. I’ve watched my fair share of movies just on the promise of the clothes—Marie Antoinette, the aptly named 27 Dresses. And dammit, each of those movies delivered a satisfying amount of over-the-top costumery, even if they didn’t have much else going on in the way of plot or dialogue. So, I was perfectly satisfied watching this group of four teenage musicians move to Los Angeles and get brand new, age-inappropriate makeovers at the hands of a predatory record producer. These girls are going to be pop stars! And, that means they’re gonna need a whole lot more silver spikes, sparkle eye shadow, and pink face paint. That’s what the kids these days are doing, right?
I really didn’t care what this movie was going to end up being. I already knew from the trailer that it was going to be a hot pink, glitter explosion. So, I was pleasantly surprised when the movie managed to have a coherent story line. Of course, it’s a cheesy romance combined with a syrupy “going on a scavenger hunt to uncover your dead father’s last message” story. This is a movie for teenage girls, after all. But, I was able to follow it. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not telling you to see this movie if you’re at all on the fence about it. It’s not a good movie. But, it is a costumer’s dream. So if you want to spend an hour or two letting shimmering fabrics and strumpets’ makeup jobs wash over you in waves, check this one out. If not, you’d best move along.