Movie: Glitter
My Rating: 1 star
Oh brother! Could Mariah Carey be any less self-aware? You know how uncomfortable you get when you witness a friend of yours very earnestly making a complete jackass of themselves? Well, that was my experience throughout this whole movie. Poor Mariah. She’s just up there on the screen doing the best she can do with her limited acting skills. And, she’s trying really really hard. The worst part of all is that she totally thinks she’s nailing it, too. The poor thing! You can tell she thinks that she’s looking super fly in her little 90s outfits and pigtails. This movie really is an amazing relic from the vaults if you think you have the stomach for all the butterflies and sparkle.
This movie is just your standard vehicle for a starlet to show off her singing skills. (Not that Mariah really counts as being a “starlet” in this movie. She’s totally a full-grown woman). But, this film follows the standard formula you’ve come to know and love. Our heroine comes from humble beginnings, and works her way to the top through hard work, and a few “totally unplanned” karaoke sessions that dazzle the studio executives who don’t take her seriously. And, she wears tons of really cute, little outfits while she’s doing it, too. There are a lot of overalls involved. (This movie was made in the 90s after all). Of course, Mariah has to show that she’s still the same humble girl as always, even after finding some success. Her clothes just get a little swankier. These things could be written for anyone. In fact, this one reminded me an awful lot of Britney Spears’ Crossroads. Although, Mariah Carey definitely wants to present herself as the victim in this story, with all the greedy studio executives and producers grasping for a piece of her. They all have dollar signs ringing up in their eyes once they hear that magical voice.
This movie is ridiculous, but it isn’t completely without its charms. Sure, Mariah Carey is the silliest lady ever. But, she actually does have a very lovely voice. And, this movie does contain a little bit of humor, both intentional and un-. Padma Lakshmi makes a pretty hilarious cameo as Sylk, the gorgeous, but bitchy, and completely tone-deaf pop star. Her outfit alone is pretty magical. And, the way Max Beesley’s music producer character, “Julian Dice”, wears his silky shirt open to the navel, is pretty exotic, too. But, sometimes it’s unclear whether the comedy is purposeful or not. In that instance, it’s a little too close to tell. But, this movie really is good for plenty of laughs, and you’ll probably enjoy it if you decide to watch it. I think this is definitely one of those movies that is so terrible that you absolutely need to check it out for yourself.