From the Vaults

Movie: House (Hausu 1977)

My Rating: 3 stars

I don’t even know where to start with this film.  It’d sound like a cliché to say that the Japanese filmmakers make some pretty insane movies, but this film really is something “special.”  The AV Club’s New Cult Canon introduced me to this one.  That column is frequently the source of some of the more bizarre films I watch.  Although, lately, Netflix’s recommendation algorithm has gotten pretty good too.  So, director Nobuhiko Obayashi calls this a horror film.  But it’s really so much more than that.  You could almost call it an avante garde piece of experimental artwork.  The whole atmosphere of the movie feels like a dream world, and in every scene, Obayashi seems to be making fun of the genre.  You know, the whole “dead mother, emotionally distant father, evil, new, young, beautiful step-mother who’s come to kill us all” horror film.

Emotions usually run pretty high in this sort of film, but this one pushes them to the level of melodrama.  Even the sets, lighting and script are more intense than real life, with super-saturated colors, and whimsical themes.  Then there’s the fact that none of the characters have real names.  They’re all given trite, little pet names that describe each character’s primary personality trait—like being very studious, or gifted musically, or being very fat.  Our main character, “Gorgeous” is a spoiled little princess, and a confirmed Daddy’s girl.  She’s none too pleased with her father’s young, stylish, new wife, so she decides to flee to her auntie’s country home for the summer, and bring along all ten of her closest girlfriends from school.  But, Gorgeous hasn’t seen this auntie since she was a baby, so she doesn’t really know what to expect—or even if she’ll really be welcome.

Auntie turns out to be a very strange woman.  She’s disabled and wheelchair-bound.  She hasn’t really seemed to have kept up her huge, crumbling mansion.  It’s practically disintegrating before the girls’ eyes.  And, Auntie hasn’t really ever gotten over losing her fiancé when she was a young woman.  She’s seems detached from this world, as if haunted by the idea of what her life could have been.  All of this makes from a pretty creepy setting.  Things only get worse when individual girls begin to wander off, and start disappearing.  The formula is pretty standard, but I can assure you that the haunting scenes definitely are not.  This film is the product of a particularly demented mind, and that’s why plenty of people are still watching and enjoying this old film today.  It’s not the best thing in the world, but it’s still pretty wild.  So, give this one a try if you’re in the mood for something different.

Tomfoolery

Movie: Dinner for Schmucks

My Rating: 2 stars

So, the trailers for this film looked absolutely dreadful.  It looked like one of those painful, slapsticky movies full of scatological humor.  And largely, this movie is precisely that.  I usually avoid this type of thing as a rule, but in this case I was actually very curious to see it because it’s based on an old French film I enjoyed, Le dîner des cons.  Well, “enjoy” is a strong word.  The French just love their over the top farces, so that film is a bit painful too, full of the most agonizing gags.  You get to watch the main characters unwittingly create elaborate traps for themselves, then see them march right into them.  That sort of thing leaves me a nervous wreck.  But, the movie was the most interesting of the whole string of films we watched in one of my college French classes.  And, I really did like the premise the story is based on.

“Le dîner des cons” roughly translates into “the jerk dinner,” or “the a-hole game.”  A group of smug, successful businessmen have a monthly dinner and they compete to see who can bring the biggest loser, or “con.”  It starts off as pretty funny, but as the story goes on, the audience starts to realize that the title refers to the hosts rather than the guests.  This new American remake follows the same basic formula, but it really ratchets up the outrageousness.  That seems like what American remakes always do.  The French version is more of a thinking man’s farce, whereas this one is more along the lines of your classic “boobs and farts” comedy.  Paul Rudd plays his usual character—the affable, yet ineffectual guy.  He tries his best in all his pursuits, yet always manages to fall short.  But, he has enough admirable qualities that we don’t really see him as a loser.  He’s just a little too Type B.  He’s the character that gets pressured by his jerky boss into joining his little dinner competition.  Rudd wants to be part of the big boy club at work, and this is part of the hazing he’ll have to go through in order to be accepted by these power brokers.  But, just about every element in the universe is conspiring against him—his moody girlfriend, the unpredictable “schmuck” he invites along (played by Steve Carell), his insane ex-fling.  This guy doesn’t stand a chance.

But, this movie is not without its charms.  Jemaine Clement turns anything he touches into comedic gold, and he plays an insanely hilarious modern artist in this movie.  As far as I’m concerned, the whole film is worth watching just for his demented antics alone.  But, then I’m particularly in tune with his brand of funny.  If you don’t feel the same way about him, you can disregard this bit.  But, Steve Carell is actually pretty charming in this movie as well.  Even though his character is very bizarre, he’s far less abrasive than usual.  I even found this strange, little man to be a little endearing.  But don’t worry.  I can totally understand if you decide that the bad in this movie outweighs the good.  Most of the story’s wild antics are genuinely cringe-worthy, but I had my reasons for choosing it, so maybe you will too.

Cinematic Medicine

Movie: The Birds

My Rating: 3 stars

I figured I should probably bite the bullet and rent this classic flick.  Pop-culture references to this film abound (including Tippi Hedren Barbie, and that dreadful fan movie, Birdemic).  So, I figured it was time to take another dose of my cinematic medicine.  Although, nothing all that surprising really happens in this film.  If you’ve heard the premise, you already know the whole plot.  But, Alfred Hitchcock always does like to add his special dose of mother/son boundary issues.  It makes you start to wonder about him.  Does anyone know anything about Alfred Hitchcock’s mother?  Did those two have a screwed up relationship?  Or, do you think he just calculated (correctly) that this little Freudian element just adds to the creepiness?  Perhaps I’m going to have to do a little research.

Anyway, this film is actually a little bit more interesting than I thought it would be.  It has an interesting romance element in it, and the super inappropriate mother/son dynamic I mentioned earlier.  And surprisingly, there’s even a little bit of carnage.  You don’t see that too often in Hitchcock’s work.  I guess there’s always Psycho with the legendary shower scene, and Norman Bates’ mother, but usually Hitchcock tends to rely on suspense and the audience’s imagination to build up the horror factor.  But this story is all about physical violence.  One day all the birds in the San Francisco area (all of California? All the world?) decide to revolt against humans.  They attack anyone they can find, pecking out their eyes, and any other exposed soft tissue.  So, it’s necessary to show a few mutilated corpses, as revolting as that may be.

Our heroes aren’t particularly special.  They don’t have any unusual skills or a noble mission to carry out.  They’re just a group of people who managed to hole themselves up securely inside a sturdy house.  No birds managed to break their way inside, so these folks are all alive and in one piece (more or less).  There’s no dramatic irony in the film at all.  We only know as much information as our main characters do.  They don’t know how far the bird plague has spread, so we don’t know either.  In fact, by the end of the movie, we don’t even know if the problem is really solved at all.  But, there’s hope.  Our heroes are romantics, and they believe that love conquers all, and darn it, they’re going to survive!  But, the ending doesn’t feel like a cheesy cop out.  It leaves the possibility of further chaos wide open.  That’s one thing I really like about Hitchcock’s work.  He doesn’t mind leaving things a little dark—even his comedies.

Young and Stupid

Movie: Easy A

My Rating: 4 stars

This was kind of a cute movie, but there was something about it that bothered me the whole time.  I couldn’t really figure it out until later.  For someone who is supposed to be a really smart girl, the main character in this story, Olive, is remarkably idiotic.  She gets into some pretty bad trouble during this film, but it seems like she doesn’t have any right to complain because she really brought it all on herself.  She’s like one of Shakespeare’s supporting female characters with their notoriously bad decision-making skills.   Desdemona, Cordelia, Ophelia, Isabella—all of these gals brought a world of hurt down on their own heads because of a simple lack of caution and forethought.  Dolts!

Anyway, this story is about a plucky high school girl, Olive (played by the adorable Emma Stone).  She’s not the most popular girl in school, and she really feels for all the other kids who get pushed around and hassled just because they’re a little different—the fat kids, the foreign kids, the loveable Dungeons & Dragons crowd.  So, she decides to help them out a little bit by letting them claim they had done naughty, sexual things with each of them.  It’ll boost their coolness factor a little bit, she reasons, and it’ll help her shed her images as a studious, boring girl.  Win/win, right?  Well, no.  Because, Olive makes the same faulty assumption that just about every insecure high school girl has made at some point.  That’s the presumption that equates a boy’s willingness to hook up with her with self worth.  If any of these young girls could see the kinds of horrible women guys are willing to bag at the end of the night at the dance clubs, they may reassess this belief that if a guy is willing to sleep with a girl he must like her.  But hey, high school girls aren’t exactly rational creatures, so history is destined to repeat itself.

Olive learns this lesson the hard way.  Even though she’s been lying about all this illicit activity to help out her friends, her reputation takes a nosedive.  Oh well, at least she doesn’t have to deal with all the guilt and self-loathing she’d have if she’d actually done any of those things.  Because, that’s what usually triggers a further descent into full-time slut-baggery.  I can empathize with this misguided girl a little bit, but I’m having a hard time feeling so outraged by the injustice that has befallen this cute, little moron.  She should have known better.  High school is such a hotbed of speculation and rumor that she could have guessed what would happen.  I can forgive her, though.  Whose self-esteem is really where it should be at that age?

Films the Academy Made Me See

Movie: Winter’s Bone

My Rating: 4 stars

Here's another film that I probably wouldn't have watched except for all the attention it received at the Oscars.  But, this time it was because I actually hadn't heard of the film before it started to get so much publicity.  This may be hard to believe, since this was apparently a pretty popular book, but for one reason or another, it just wasn't on my radar.  This is one of those gritty, hard luck stories that feels like a kick in the teeth.  Ree is a recent high-school graduate, and she lives in rural Appalachia.  She lives with her useless, pill-addicted mother and two little siblings, and she's shouldering the load of supporting them all on her own.  This is a town where no one has ever had much of a job other than cooking meth, so Ree doesn't have many prospects for making money.  And, to make matters even more hellishly worse, she learns that her absentee, deadbeat father has posted their family home as bail for a court date he failed to show up for.  So, now the bank is coming for it.  Ree's only got a few days to track down her father to either get him to his next court date, or prove that he's dead.  Otherwise, this family of helpless souls will be out on the streets without a penny to their names.  Not exactly a very good start in life, is it?

But, Ree is a girl who knows how to fight.  She's committed to taking care of her family, and she won't just roll over when trouble comes knocking.  Although, she lives in a town where just about everyone is dabbling in some sort of illegal activity, so not many people are willing to help her when she comes asking questions.  In fact, most people she meets are actively trying to hide something from her, and she suspects that it's about something her dad was involved in.  This is a very bleak movie.  It's set in a part of the country where not many people have much hope for their future, and you can see how the resignation and nihilism would really start to set in.  People turn to pleasures they can enjoy now—drugs, booze, and sex—even though those things end up costing them more heartache in the long run.  But, Ree is tough.  She's not going to let this pessimism reach her little brother and sister, and she really is a source of light in what would otherwise be a very soul-crushing story.  Oh, it's still plenty depressing.  The conditions are still going to be the same in this little corner of the world, and one disaster avoided doesn't meant that there won’t be more to follow.  But, Ree's going to take things one day at a time.

This movie isn't fun and gumdrops, but it's still really good.  It's the kind of movie that'll make you a better person for watching it.  It's kind of hard to complain about your internet reception being too slow, or that they're out of the specific type of French lentils you were looking for at the grocery store when you're watching a story about a family that is having to shoot squirrels and skin them in order to be able to eat that night.  It's a little bit shaming.  But, I think we need these reminders every now and then--especially if we've been in a particularly bratty mood.

Tomfoolery

Movie: Get Him to the Greek

My Rating: 3 stars

So, this movie is actually pretty entertaining—way more than I would have thought for one of these wacky romps with overgrown man-children running wild.  The man-child in question in this film is Russell Brand, in case there was any confusion.  He does always seem to be playing the same role in all the movies I’ve ever seen him in.  He’s the spoiled, eccentric, over-sexed (yet strangely androgynous) he-sprite.  But, what I didn’t know beforehand is that in this movie, he actually is supposed to be playing his same character from Sarah Marshall.  This isn’t a sequel to that movie at all.  It just happens to be set in the same universe, with the same people running around in it.  For some reason, I always kind of enjoy that sort of thing—when minor characters from one story get full treatment in another.

This is definitely a very raunchy movie.  But, then I guess that’s what you get with humor that’s been written with a mostly male audience in mind.  There will always be plenty of boner and barf jokes to spare.  And, of course, there are the obligatory jabs at terrible women.  There are the frigid, emasculating bitches, the calculating gold diggers, and then just your simple, brainless sluts.  Sigh.  Oh well, I guess we ladies deserve to be on the receiving end of this game with how well we’ve dished out the complaints in all those romantic comedies.  We’ve portrayed men as effete whipping boys, and douchy, incompetent fools.  Both sexes are way more complex than the movies give them credit for.  All we really want is to find a deep, meaningful relationship with someone we can spend the rest of our lives with.  So, do we all feel better now?  Ok then, so now we can proceed.

This is one of those comedies that allows guys to fantasize about awesome solutions to their universal problems.  Jonah Hill plays a very talented guy with a very cool job as a junior music industry executive.  That’s how I imagine most guys would like to see themselves.  Only, he is routinely overlooked by his narcissistic and completely insane boss (the role P. Diddy was born to play).  His ball-busting, professionally successful girlfriend isn’t giving him much attention either.  These seem to be pretty common complaints, according to all the notes I’ve gathered in the field.  But, Jonah gets the chance to finally prove his worth to everyone when he’s given the task of rounding up Aldous Snow (Brand), a notoriously difficult recording artist, and delivering him to a very important gig at the Greek Theater (hence the name of the film).  Jonah will use this opportunity to score points in his relationship as well.  He’ll show his unappreciative girlfriend just what a catch he is by announcing that they’re taking a break, and hooking up with a few strumpets while he’s on the road.  Then she’ll see.  She’ll curse herself for letting such a potent man slip through her fingers.  (Well, that sounded a little dirty).  And, since this movie is about wish fulfillment, Jonah Hill will have no problem finding some willing trollops to help his with this little mission.

As you can imagine, the job of babysitting Russell Brand is not going to be an easy task.  Trying to get that guy to do anything has got to be like herding cats.  He’s easily distracted, and doesn’t want to do anything that isn’t his idea.  Plus, he’s got a pesky drug and alcohol problem.  That combo always seems to derail any plans.  So naturally, hilarity ensues.  But at the end of the day, we know that Jonah Hill is going to be successful, because this is a comedy.  And, because he’s such a talented, stand-up guy.  Oh, but I make too much fun.  I think guys probably get sick of being teased all the time by us ladies.  Everyone’s allowed to imagine their secret hopes working out every now and then.  The fantasies we ladies act out in all our romantic comedies are usually way more ludicrous.  They usually involve us getting the guy, our archrivals being publicly humiliated, and our hair looking great the whole time.  So, how can I begrudge the boys this one?

Films the Academy Made Me See

Film: The Lovely Bones

My Rating: 3 stars

So, this is a film that I probably would never have made the effort to watch except that it got a fair amount of attention at the Oscars a little while ago.  I guess the illustrious members of the Academy thought the CGI renditions of the afterlife were pretty spectacular.  And, they were also pretty impressed with Stanley Tucci’s portrayal of the serial killer that is this story’s villain.  Normally I don’t put too much stock into the Academy’s opinion.  I’m usually pretty good at figuring out what films I’ll like on my own.  And the voting members of that organization seem overly impressed by things that really don’t influence my decisions very much, like showy period dress, and the celebrity factor.  These guys seem puzzlingly star-struck for a group of professionals who have such regular contact with people in the film industry.  You think they’d be over it by now.  Although, I don’t mean to criticize these people too much.  I actually do agree with their assessment of Tucci’s performance in this film.  He plays a disconcertingly believable pervert.  His creepy moustache and lecherous gaze will make you shiver.  And, Saoirse Ronan is always wonderful, no matter what she does.

That being said, I still didn’t think this movie was all that great.  I just didn’t find the story to be all that compelling, or any of the characters to be very interesting.  Perhaps this is just because it’s a bad adaptation of the book it’s based on.  I didn’t read it.  For all I know, the characters and plotline could have been wonderfully complex.  But if that’s so, not much of it made it into the movie.  This is a pretty well known book, so I probably don’t need to tell you too much about the story.  It’s about a teenage girl, Suzy Salmon, who has been abducted and murdered by a serial killer that lives in her neighborhood.  But, even after she’s dead, Suzy still has a lot of issues to work out, so her ghost hangs around her old home and family as they try to solve the mystery of her disappearance.  This sounds like it might be pretty exciting and suspenseful, but the movie is actually kind of a snoozefest.  I guess that’s because the story isn’t really a murder mystery.  The audience already knows everything that happened.  It’s really more about teenage girls and the silly, scattered thoughts and concerns they have.

We don’t really have any reason to suspect that the thoughts of a perpetually teenage ghost would be any different from a regular girl’s.  I guess that’s kind of a funny idea in a way.  Now that her reality is only limited by her imagination, Suzy can act out some of her shallow little fantasies—being very physically beautiful, wearing glamorous clothes, being wildly popular at school and fawned over by the boys.  All this is great fun until Suzy realizes just how spiritually unfulfilling these sad little wishes actually are.  Just like everybody else, she’s going to have to figure out what is truly satisfying to her soul before she can find peace.  Still, I wasn’t really feeling this film.  The movie just felt a little trite to me.  It was ok, but not anything I’d tell you to rush out and see.

The Hong Kong Dream

Movie: Dream Home

My Rating: 4 stars

Yikes!  I haven’t really watched any Hong Kong horror films before.  This stuff is really a different kind of animal.  I had been waiting for this film to be available in America ever since I read about it in Giant Robot magazine, and my wait has finally paid off!  I guess each country has it’s own, unique film style, and the themes each one tends to focus on really do seem to reflect each culture’s particular insecurities.  There are even vast differences within the same geographic region.  For instance, horror stories from Japan tend to have many supernatural elements.  This may indicate a collective worry that their sophisticated (some may say decadent) lifestyles may offend the sensibilities of more traditionally-minded ghosts in the spirit world.  Or, Korean horror films often feature the exploits of serial killers and child abductors.  Perhaps this reflects a certain uneasiness with the rise of  a modern, disconnected society, where you really can’t trust your neighbors anymore (if you even know who they are!).  I guess these are pretty similar themes.  They both lament the loss of the old-fashioned, close-knit society where everybody knew one another (and their business). 

But, this film is a little different.  It doesn’t yearn so much for a warm feeling that people have lost, as much as it expresses disgust with what cold, calculating machines people have become.  Hong Kong is a region that still suffers from one of the most insane real estate bubbles the world has ever seen.  And, the lengths to which the characters in this film are willing to go to get a piece of it is chilling.  They are willing to set their humanity aside for a chance to join the ranks of the bourgeois homeowners, and this story takes this worry to the most gruesome extreme.  This is a fear that as a nation, they’ve created a society of morally empty monsters.  Not just a few bad seeds.  This story posits the fear that just about everyone has become this shallow and greedy.  And really, every character in this film is pretty terrible.  It isn’t just Josie Ho, our insane, little protagonist, who goes on a killing/whoring spree so that she can get her hands on a little piece of the Hong Kong Dream: that 750 square foot apartment with a bay view.  The price of this little slice of true citizenship?  A cool seven million dollars.  Sheesh!  The impossibility of achieving this goal for your average office worker would make anyone loose hope.  Although, let’s hope that doesn’t mean more of these delightful, little psychopaths will start popping up.

This is an obscenely gruesome movie.  Josie Ho hacks out eyeballs from college kids, bludgeons pregnant ladies, and skewers prostitutes with the cool, steady hand of Patrick Bateman.  And the movie leaves no image to the imagination.  Although Josie’s motive for her crimes isn’t her lack of feeling, but rather, an overabundance of emotion.  This is a desperate woman, and the only reason she’s able to butcher these people with such abandon is that she thinks she’s just taking what she deserves—what she’s been working for so hard all these years, but was still out of her reach.  It’s kinda troubling when you start to sympathize with a murder, no?  But, that’s the nature of the horror in this film.  We’re not supposed to just recoil from all the intestines and eyeball fluid, and other assorted viscera.  No, we’re also supposed to be deeply shocked that we’ve created a society where this sort of barbaric activity would be understandable.  That’s perhaps a little more emotionally upsetting than some of the grisly murder scenes.  Or, maybe that’s just true for people like me who have become a little too accustomed to watching these hack ‘em up thrillers.  Hey, I still watch the worst scenes through my fingers, so I’m not a total monster yet.

Therapy

Movie: Marwencol

My Rating: 4 stars

Brain damage is an interesting thing.  We all have a vague idea of what it means when someone has suffered mild mental impairment from an accident, but you can never really predict how the problems are actually going to manifest themselves in that person’s everyday life and personality.  Afflicted people sometimes find that there have been dramatic changes to their tastes and preferences after a trauma.  They may like things they never would have looked at before, or turn their noses up at other things that were previously unbreakable habits.  In the case of Mark Hogancamp in this documentary, that former addiction was to alcohol.

Mark was a surly drunk.  Alcohol was more important to him than his family or his job, and he spent most of his time at the local bar.  But after he was beaten nearly to death by a group of other drunken thugs he woke up from his coma nine days later a totally different person.  His addiction to booze was long gone, but so was his ability to think very clearly.  He enrolled in intense physical therapy where he had to learn to read and walk all over again.  Although, he wasn’t totally healed when his government health benefits ran out, so after that Mark had to figure out how to continue making progress with his therapy on his own.  And, that’s when he started to escape into the fantasy world of his own making, the little town of Marwencol.  Hogancamp was something of an artist before the attack, and afterward, he began pouring all his energy into creating a 1/6 scale model town, inhabited by his own custom-altered GI Joes and Barbie dolls.  Marwencol is supposed to be a little Belgian town, set in World War II, and Hogancamp creates elaborate back-stories for all the characters in it.  He records the town’s history by photographing all these scenes he’s dreamed up.  It’s really quite magical, and has to be seen to be believed.  The characters are very personal for Mark, with each representing someone he knows in real life, and one doll even standing in for himself.  This way, he can work out many of the issues that trouble him in a non-threatening setting.

When Mark Hogancamp starts explaining the significance of all his different dolls, the audience really starts to understand the full extent of his brain damage.  In his mind, Mark really does live in this little Belgian town.  There’s no separation between real life and fantasy.  Mark reenacts troubling scenes from his own life (in the context of a small town besieged by Nazis), and in so doing, he resolves his personal, emotional crises.  He deals with his anger at being attacked, his longing for female companionship, and even his simple desire to be able to easily relate to other people again.  Mark replays scenes from his life until he feels better about them, and this may sound like some kind of new-agey, hippie therapy, but Mark really does have a very real, emotional connection to all of his dolls.  They are real people to him, and he genuinely loves and mourns them. 

None of this art he creates is created with a knowing wink.  It’s some of the most refreshingly un-self-conscious work you’ll probably ever see in your life, and that’s probably why the art community is so drawn to it.  There are so many sham hipster artists out there these days, and it’s often hard to tell the difference between work that’s been genuinely inspired by true feeling, and the more dishonest stuff.  People don’t like being taken for a ride.  But, with Mark Hogancamp everything is laid out on the table.  He’s so earnest and happy to share his little world with anyone who’ll listen.  Plus, he has some very darling ideas about what it means to be a famous artist.  This man’s life was changed forever when he was attacked.  However, I think sometimes we learn that we actually are hardwired for certain personality traits from birth.  Mark Hogancamp forgot a lot of things about his life after waking up from his coma, but upon being reminded by a friend of one of his former predilections—a tame, yet unorthodox practice—he rediscovered the magic of these particular little excursions all over again.  I won’t spoil the surprise for you, since it’s actually one of the cutest moments in the documentary, but it just goes to show that human nature will surprise you sometimes.  This is a wonderful, if quirky little documentary.  I highly recommend it to anyone who’s interested in art or mental disabilities, or even just what makes us human.

Afternoon at the Old Folks Home

Movie: Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives

My Rating: 3 stars

Everyone at the Cannes Film Festival just loved this film.  And, I guess it does have a certain, deliberate, country charm.  But, “country charm” usually translates to “slow as molasses,” and the pace of this film is definitely very sluggish.  This film is set in rural Thailand, and features very charming, simple characters in the twilight of their lives.  Boonmee is an elderly farmer, and he’s dying of advance-stage kidney disease.  His sister in law is visiting from the big city to help take care of Boonmee in his final days, and to cement old family bonds.  And, these two get on the way most oldsters do.  They tell long, draw-out stories about their pasts, and ruminate on the meaning of death.  Oh, and they also engage in every old person’s favorite pastime: making their wills, and informing their family members of the bequests.  I guess the elderly like this activity so much because it’s their last chance to wield a little power—rewarding the loyal, and getting revenge on their enemies.  I guess deep down, humans are just jerks. We just can’t resist sticking it to people.

These two old coots have plenty to talk about.  In addition to discussing their golden years, and gossiping about their friends, the senility also threatens to take hold too.  This pair is visited by ghosts from their pasts, and even start to remember some of their past lives.  At least Boonmee does.  Although, this is an Asian film, so we have to assume that these senior citizens aren’t, in fact, infirm, and that the ghosts and spirits in the movie are supposed to be real.  That’s one thing I like about this genre.  The supernatural is accepted as a regular, banal part of life and death.  It’s almost kinda funny how ordinary some of these ghosts can be.  They’re still caught up in ordinary human concerns and vanities.  Since Boonmee is close to death, he has a direct line to the spirit world.  Getting a glimpse into some of these past lives, it seems that all the souls in the family have been linked through the ages.  And, some of these ramblings are pretty interesting.  I’m not too familiar with Thai mythology, so all these stories are brand new material to me.  But, the movie still feels like a 4pm dinner at the nursing home.  That means it’s kinda cute, and can be humored for a little while, but thankfully doesn’t run over two hours. I still don’t understand what all the fuss is about.

Disgraceful Behavior

Movie: The Art of The Steal

My Rating: 5 stars

This documentary will make you seething mad.  It chronicles how Philadelphia’s corrupt politicians very deliberately proceeded to completely loot the vast estate of the late Dr. Albert Barnes.  Oh, and they’re pleased as punch with themselves, too.  They’re so happy, congratulating one another on a job well done at all the public ceremonies—like a hen who’s just laid an egg.  It’ll make you want to commit an act of violence.  This case is very well know by anyone who’s taken a Trusts & Estates course in law school.  In that class, students learn all the rules for making an air-tight will or trust, so that a person’s wishes for their estates are respected and carried out after their deaths.  But then, students get to this case, which pretty much illustrates that if the government really, really wants your property, there’s no amount of legal protection that’ll be able to keep their grubby paws off of it.  It’s very disheartening.

Dr. Albert Barnes was an avid collector of modern art.  He was a contemporary of great artists like Picasso and Renoir, and he recognized the value of their work long before the market did.  Because of this, Barnes was able to amass a fortune in artwork before anyone even knew what happened.  In fact, the social and cultural elites criticized his collection as vulgar when he first showed it to the public.  It’s a priceless collection today, because it includes so many unique pieces, like Matisse’s The Dance II.  And, it’s flawlessly curated.  Barnes didn’t just make a museum.  He created a whole experience, and he wanted to make sure the collection stayed intact after his death.  Since he had no children or other heirs, Barnes created a foundation to look after his creation.  When you’re as wealthy as Dr. Barnes was, you can afford to throw you weight around a little bit.  You can be a straight-shooter who speaks truth to kings.  But, we all know that big shots rarely like to hear the truth about themselves, and Barnes created some pretty powerful enemies for some of the trouble he stirred up.  So, after his death, more than a few of these guys decided to go after his legacy.  And, they go for the jugular.

Of course, the prospect of controlling billions of dollars worth of modern art probably had something to do with that decision as well.  You can practically hear them licking their chops in this film.  You know things are particularly bad when the state Attorney General is first in line for the pillaging.  That’s the public official who’s charged with the duty of ensuring that all our wills and trusts are upheld, so if that person is in on the thievery, there’s not much you can do.  I guess some temptations are just a bit too much.  This is a pretty excruciating documentary to sit through.  We all know what’s coming, so having to watch it unfold, little by little is just torture.  But, the documentary is very well made.  Director, Don Argott, creates incredible drama, and the film is very compelling, even though we can't have a happy ending.  I suppose the one comfort we can take is to know that good old Albert Barnes is good and dead.  It’s a mercy that none of his relatives are around to witness such wholesale looting.

True Love

Movie: I Love You Phillip Morris

My Rating: 4 stars

Ah! A fresh, new twist on ye olde romantic comedy.  You know the type—two attractive, dysfunctional types are wildly attracted to one another, even though they’re all wrong for each other.  But, they defeat all the odds and find a way to be together, nonetheless.  Only, in this version, our two lovebirds are both men . . . and criminals . . . and sociopaths.  That’s a pretty tall order.  I think America is definitely ready for more gay romances, but unfortunately, neither character is particularly sympathetic.   Jim Carey and Ewen McGregor are our two lovers.  Jim is con man with swagger, and Ewan is his little boy toy.  And, the best part is that these two actors have some real chemistry.  These two guys are straight in real life, but they manage to really make things sizzle on screen.  Pretty impressive, boys.

Jim Carey plays a man who’s has a near death experience, and decides he’s going to finally embrace his homosexuality.  He’s always known he was gay, but it took this dramatic brush with his mortality to finally just go for it.  And, he’s going to fund his new (expensive) life with graft.  Hey, those alligator skin loafers aren’t going to pay for themselves.  This character pulls some pretty ballsy con jobs to come up with the necessary funds, but he’s still not the brightest bulb, so it lands him in prison pretty quickly.  Fortunately for him, that’s where he meets the love of his life—a very adorable (and bleached blond) Ewan McGregor.  He’s our eponymous Phillip Morris.  These two get on like a house on fire, but being incarcerated kinda gets in the way of some of the spontaneity that a passionate love affair should have.  That’s ok, because Jim’s got more than a few tricks up his sleeve.

This is an absolutely hilarious movie and everyone should see it.  It’s loud and irreverent, and insanely funny.  Just don’t see it with your mom, or gran, or any youngsters.  There are a few too many embarrassing, hard-core(ish) sex scenes for that to be an enjoyable experience.  Oh, it’s nothing too graphic.  The movie is only rated R.  It’s just a little good-humored raunch.  But, it’d still make for some pretty awkward moments.  So, why don’t you go ahead and just watch this one with your adult friends.  Or, by yourself.  That’s the way I watch most movies since I have a hard time convincing any of my friends to watch the weird stuff I’m interested in.  Oh well.

Downers

Movie: The Tillman Story

My Rating: 4 stars

So, this isn’t exactly the kind of film that gives you too much faith in the American government.  In fact, it serves as a pretty strong reminder of just how self-serving and shortsighted a lot of elected representatives really are.  And, it’s particularly unfortunate that the statesmen in this instance were all hoping to benefit politically from one man’s death—the death of the very famous Pat Tillman who decided to give up his football career to join the military.  All this seems a little too opportunistic and morbid.  Congressmen and Senators alike were all scrambling to rack up a few patriotism points with their constituents by giving this fallen soldier a hero’s funeral—a big, fancy state funeral with all the bells and whistles.  These guys all claimed that we must honor this great man who “died in battle.”  It’d be extra convenient for these big wigs if that’s what actually happened.

It becomes pretty clear right from the beginning of this documentary that things didn’t really happen quite as neatly and “heroically” as the politicians would have liked.  Things get pretty hairy during war—especially so in Afghanistan.  People get confused.  Young soldiers get excited.  And, higher-ups may fudge the details a little to make their underlings (and themselves) look better.  Sometimes these little fibs go unnoticed.  But, not when you’re dealing with a smart family that knows when they’re being jerked around (and when they’re being used as a political tool).  Talk about adding insult to injury!

So, this is a pretty depressing movie.  Nothing good ever happens.  Even when the Tillman family does have a breakthrough, it doesn’t do them any good.  The documentary starts with a death.  Then it moves on to the lies.  Then when the politicians finally admit to the lies, they make it pretty clear that there’s nothing anyone can do about it.  It leaves a really bad taste in your mouth.  And, these are the people we elected to look after our best interests.  But, it’s important to be aware that these deceits can and do happen—probably all the time.  And the movie is really well done.  It seems like I end up watching a lot these films that aren’t necessarily pleasant to watch, but are still worthwhile.  So, go for it.

Tear Jerker

Movie: Never Let Me Go

My Rating: 4 stars

This was an amazing book.  I loved it.  Kazuo Ishiguro is an amazing author, and he has created a deeply sad and haunting story.  That’s why I was a little bit worried about watching this film version.  Sometimes filmmakers ruin wonderful books by making quick, easy movies that aren’t true to the original manuscript.  But, I didn’t have to worry.  Fortunately, Mark Romanek seems to have some integrity as a director.  I guess it helps that the book is a little more on the literary side.  Yes, it is very popular, but that’s not because the story’s a light piece of  best-seller trash.  It’s more because the news of the book’s quality spread fast.  So, I guess I was a bit too quick to worry that someone would exploit the script for a quick buck.  The plot line isn’t super secret, but I think with this one, it’s best to be surprised so I’ll try not to reveal too much about it.

This movie is just as stirring and beautiful as the book.  And, it’ll make you cry just as much, too.  Carey Mulligan and Andrew Garfield are cast perfectly as two of the many vulnerable, lost souls (Cathy and Tommy), who are desperately seeking meaning and answers in their lives in this story.  They both play the gentle, wounded role very well.  These are people who won’t stick up for themselves when someone else is trying to take away something that’s rightfully theirs.  Although, I think that  Keira Knightley is somewhat miscast as the main antagonist.  She plays the shallow, selfish Ruth who tries to come between Cathy and Tommy.  And, she does manage to capture most of the vanity and insecurity that people like that often display.  Because, despite the fact that Knightly is a beautiful and famous actress, I still get the feeling that she’s actually pretty uncertain of herself  in real life.  But, I think I just imagined Ruth much differently when reading the book—less spiteful and calculating, and more simply self-absorbed and clueless.

I guess that’s always the danger of doing too much homework before going to the movies.  But, I was in a tricky situation with this one because I probably wouldn’t have been that interested in it if I weren’t already familiar with the story.  It’s probably the same Catch 22 situation that many moviegoers find themselves in.  But, I didn’t let it ruin the film for me.  And, you shouldn’t either.