Wednesday, June 4, 2008

More Mediocrity

I'm not sure why I was renting such dull movies at this point in my life. Maybe I had just burned out on a few too many Mexican or Romanian films. But wait, no. Netflix dutifully records all of my rentals and has informed me that that was not the case at all. Maybe my strict "one movie a night" pace had finally caught up to my at this point. I'm kinda going through that phase right now. After a little bit of movie overload, I start craving movie-sugar.

Movie: Oceans 13
My Rating: 3 stars

Well, I had seen the first two in this "series," so I had to go ahead and see the last. I shake my fist at the evil movie studios. Their clever marketing plan is clearly working. I hate how studios are so quick to create a sequels to any movie that is even marginally profitable. The first movie in this set, Oceans 11, was a remake of an old movie, for god's sake! It didn't need a sequel. And it definitely didn't need to be made into a trilogy. Oh well. At least the movie wasn't bad. I was a little bit disappointed with the second movie, but this one managed to pull itself together for a good show. I kinda like how these movies have a little bit of a sense of humor about themselves.

To tell you the truth, I have a really hard time differentiating between these three movies. They all kind of run together in my mind. I can vaguely remember the second movie really phoning it in, but they are all outlandish heist stories about thieves with an illogically high project budget. And there are usually some pretty creative trick endings. Sorry I can't be a little bit more helpful to you guys here. I probably wouldn't have gone to see these sequels if I hadn't liked the first movie so much. So, I kinda felt bullied into seeing this movie. I guess that's the only recommendation I can give. All the cool kids were doing it.

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Movie: Waiting
My Rating: 1 star

Darn it. I wish I had enough terrible movies surrounding this viewing to have another "1 Star Bonanza." Too bad. You'll have to settle for just one this time. I really have no excuse for renting this movie. I knew it would be terrible. But I did it anyway. I think I have a problem. Is there a program for addiction to bad movies? These should be considered a controlled substance. Well, this movie is everything you'd expect from a film starring Ryan Reynolds about waiters working at a local "TGI Fridays-esque" restaurant. There is plenty of potty humor, plenty of spitting in the food, plenty sales of meat that has been down the chef's pants. And can you really go wrong with copious amounts of nut-sack humor? I thought not.

I must have been really hurting for some mindless humor when I added this to my queue. But, I'm merely trying to figure out how this travesty ever happened, and not trying to justify its occurence. This lapse in judgement is unforgivable, I know. Just don't rent this movie. Friends don't let friends harm themselves in this way. I only wish I had had a sponsor that could have helped my avoid this mistake in the first place.

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